Zhanga: August 8, 2008

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Friday, August 8, 2008 (4 comments)

Hanif, you can have the big room this year if you can meet just ten conditions. This should be easy...

1. Do not sit outside, open the door, and let out all the AC because "it's pretty hot out here." And if you must, don't do it every evening 6-10 PM for three weeks.
2. Please do not walk around butt-naked.
3. Do not waste 60 gallons of water every time you want to defrost a piece of chicken by running tap water over it for 25 minutes.
4. Please stop speaking to your girlfriend in a voice that suggests she is a two-year-old with Down syndrome.
5. If I go to sleep at 12, and you sit in the kitchen area until 1 or 2, that means you have to turn off the kitchen lights! It's fine if you forget once or twice, but after the tenth time, you really should have figured out that we don't have automatic lights.
6. Do not put water in my shoes. I know my shoes have excellent drainage due to the giant holes on their undersides, but it's still not funny. (Note: this one is speculation. I have no evidence that this actually happened, besides having wet shoes one morning.)
7. If I take out the trash 1-2 times a week, you have to do it more than once a month. (Actually, now that I think about it more, I think it was three times in two months.) When you do take out the trash, take it all, not just one or two bags...
8. Please don't make me clean an inch-thick rug of lint off the filter whenever I have to use the dryer. (This would go double for Hanif because of his rug-making ability, but luckily we won't have a dryer.)
9. Don't leave your dirty dishes/pans (most of which I am generously letting you use) in the sink for several nights in a row until I finally give up and do them for you.
10. When you do wash things, please do not leave a layer of egg crust on my pans or cooking implements (spatula etc).
11. And finally, this one is not really required for you to get the big room, but for the love of god don't eat popcorn every day and then buy a 24-pack of Slimfast.

In other news, I hate Indians and Eastern Europeans except Dragos (if he's still alive). I signed up on this site odesk.com, which is a site where buyers who need computer services (software/IT/random crap like data entry, etc) post jobs and providers like me can bid on them. You can put stuff on your profile like your skills, history, etc. There's also some interesting stuff like competency tests in various areas, like PHP or data structures or Linux. As you can imagine, most of the people looking for jobs on this site are foreign, mostly Indian it seems, so a major metric is English ability.

I took the competency test in English to prove to buyers that I do in fact know the difference between a cafeteria and a "Translate server error", and among this sea of Indians and Eastern Europeans I only got a 91st percentile. Sad. (Worse, I got a 79th percentile on PHP5.)

Anyways, the point is, these stupid Indians and people keep underbidding me by so much. One guy posted a fairly straightforward PHP/MySQL project that got nine bids. I sent him a cover letter, and my credentials look pretty good. My bid was for $22.50/hr. The guy who got hired is charging $7/hr. Come on, seriously!? I can't imagine how conservative I'm going to become in the next decade or so.

7:06PM

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