Zhanga: February 17, 2006

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Friday, February 17, 2006 (6 comments)

About the last post: When I wrote about my atrocious mushroom/bowl haircut, I was thinking of writing "I know that some sags will want to ask for a picture, so the answer is no" (sags = Tiffany). My next thought was to revise this sentence and append "and by sags I mean sags and Yujing." Well, that was too much typing, and I was lazy, so I posted without writing that. Besides, I had this tiny glimmer of hope that maybe Yujing would hold back his sag instincts. Turns out I was delusional. Yujing is so disappointing. Have you checked my stupid AIM stats page? Do you see how, in the last column, Yujing is at the top and immediately followed by nine sags if we choose to count Yufei as a sag? But then again, I guess I'm too much of one myself to be talking.

I have a feeling that Friday is going to become my weekly Zhanga Posting Day. Why? I have office hours Monday 3:30 - 5:30 and Friday 4:00 - 6:00. (I hate stupid parallel structure. "4 - 6" is so much easier to type, but it looks weird next to "3:30 - 5:30.") Assignments don't ever seem to be due Monday night, so clearly nobody is going to come for help that afternoon. Whether they are ever due Friday night or not (I think they are, sometimes) is irrelevant because people are not going to ask for help on Friday afternoon.

So basically, I have these two great periods of time when I get to do nothing. No, I still don't know how much I get paid, and I probably won't find out until I get my first paycheck in... April. By then I'll have forgotten how many hours I did for that pay period, anyways, so perhaps I will never actually know how much I get paid. Anyways, Monday afternoon is a pretty good time for me to get some work done, but I don't really like the idea of being diligent on a Friday afternoon. So I'll just use this time to talk about useless things.

Mayans are pretty useless. I had to read the Mayan creation myth (the Popul Vuh) for my writing class. Check out this excerpt:

Just for fun, I decided to remove a word from the first paragraph. The missing word (the asterisks) is "crab." Yes, the pincher animal with a hard shell. Go figure. Mayans don't make much sense.

The crappiness of my Mayan class is partially made up for by my other crappy class, Super APES (" for Life"). How does one crappy class partially make up for another, you ask? Well, I gave a 5-minute presentation on the river of my choice, which happened to be the Savannah River. I got to talk about how I almost drowned near its mouth, though I realized later that we weren't really near there. Same general region... Atlantic Ocean... whatever. It's all the same. Drowning is drowning.

The other cool thing (well, the only cool thing, since drowning isn't all that cool) is that my next presentation is a group presentation. The topic is invasive species. I've been assigned to talk about examples of invasive species... and you know what that means. If you don't, then obviously you didn't pay attention to the ever-so-exciting Dr. Camp. CANE TOADS!!!!!! Yes, those ugly, hopping lumps of meat that produce toxic sludge out of their necks. The same toxic sludge that people smoke as a hallucinogen. Apparently, in parts of Australia, there is more or less a term "thong slap" (TS) which means to take a flip-flop and slap a cane toad over the head to stun it. So, fun things to do include TS + golf club, TS + run over with car, TS + put into leaf blower and fire, etc.

I read on a website that if you put a cane toad in a jar with some pool chlorine, then add vinegar, the toad will turn white as chlorine gas is formed. Does this sound like a cool fourth grade science fair trick or what? You know who's going to be in fourth grade next year? That's right! My sister! Where I'm going to find a cane toad, I have no idea. But I bet my neighbor's dog will work just as well.

4:53PM

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