Zhanga: November 4, 2005

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Friday, November 4, 2005 (5 comments)

I got nine hours of sleep last night, yet still managed to find in the morning that I had only fifteen minutes to get dressed and go to West for class. My alarm clock is going to get fired and replaced. Unfortunately, you can't outsource an alarm clock, at least not with current alarm clock implementations, or else I'd do that.

I was taking a nap in my bed this afternoon, with my roommates in class and the door still open, and the oddest thing happened. I was in the middle of a dream that I was leaving econ lecture, and then my dream was interrupted. I heard Jeremy walk in the room with somebody and say something like, "Hey, he's asleep. I can shamelessly steal stuff!" (Something to that effect.) I tried to produce a laugh to mess with him, and then say something stupid and totally in character, like "haha, you n00b." I've read about sleep paralysis before but had never experienced it. I kept trying stuff like moving my arms, opening my eyes, etc. but nothing worked. I did finally wake up just a few minutes later, though, but by this time Jeremy and whoever else was here had left already.

I figured that was enough weird crap for one day. But I seem to always be wrong whenever I think stupid things will stop happening. Baishi walked into the room a couple of minutes after I woke up, and interestingly, he had just woken up too. I asked him if he was in my room a little while ago, and he just looked confused. I asked him where Jeremy was... he was in class nowhere near the dorm.

Now this next part barely makes any sense at all, but I'll try my best to write clearly.

There is only one [il]logical explanation: I was having a dream within which another dream was occurring. So a dream in a dream. For purposes of sanity (or lack thereof...), let's call the outer, real dream "dream[1]" and the inner, virtual dream within a dream "dream[2]," where dream[2] is contained in/happening in dream[1]. So in dream[2], I was leaving the econ lecture. Then dream[2] was interrupted because Jeremy entered my room in the world of dream[1]. As a result of this interruption, I tried to "wake up" from dream[2], which would have put me into dream[1], but failed for reasons that I won't bother trying to figure out. Maybe it was virtual sleep paralysis... who knows. However, my brain is not used to two levels of dreams, so as soon as I dropped down from dream[2] to dream[1], I thought I was in real life (or dream[0]). So I thought that Jeremy had entered my room in real life, when he really had only entered my room in dream[1].

All these subscripts are driving me nuts. But this brings up an interesting thought. What if dream[0] (the layer that I think I'm operating in right now; real life) is just another dream? What if reality actually exists in the world of dream[-1], the next layer below where I am right now, and I'm typing this only in a dream world contained by dream[0]? Or what if there just is no reality at all, and we're all just perpetually floating around in infinite layers of dreams?

I sound like a stupid emo existentialist. I should be shot.

According to my most Zhanga visitor stats, 57% of you read this because it is past midnight and you don't want to do the essay due in the morning. I've been told many times that in writing, one is supposed to "know the audience." Well, you're probably pretty sleepy and in need of a break from that essay, so I figure I'll give you both at the same time. Just keep reading.

1. What facial feature do you find the most attractive on others?: the face
2. Would you vote for a woman candidate for president?: only in '04 (I heard Kerry was actually purchased by his wife.)
3. Would you marry for money?: That would be admitting my own worthlessness, which would mean coming out of denial.
4. Have you had braces?: two years after I got braces, people still looked at me and said "dude when'd you get braces?" I think even Charles may have been one of these people, but I'm not sure.
5. Do you pluck your eyebrows?: no
6. Do you like hairy backs?: only on Kristen! HIYO! (did I just say that)
7. When was the last time you had a hickey? uhh
8. Could you live without a computer?: no
9. Do you use ICQ, AOL Buddy list etc...?: gaim
10. If a quiz were missing a question, would you insert a new one?: no
11. If you could live in any past time period, which would it be?: Cenozoic era... wtf why would you put mesozoic or tertiary for this question? You already put it'd be hard or impossible to live without computers, and plus, girls hadn't been invented back then either. And dinosaurs probably would have pwnz0red you.
12. Do you drink enough water?: The Chronicle reported that some idiot died of water poisoning a few days ago... too much water...
13. Do you wear shoes in the house or take them off?: I'm Chinese.
14. What is your favorite fruit?: ...
15. Do you eat wheat bread or white?: dunno
16. What is your favorite place to visit?: China
17. What is the last movie you saw?: hahahaaha that awesome Thai or whatever one with the flaming kick guy
18. Do you kiss on the first date?: no
19. Are you photogenic? no
20. Do you dream in color or black and white?: If you dream in black and white, then your cones[1] aren't functioning properly
21. Are you wearing fingernail polish?: that has cooties
22. Is it chipped or fresh?: n/a
23. Do you have any dimples?: I had one. I think I have two now
24. Do you remember being born?: I remember being stuck in a dark place for like a week, and all the kicking in the world didn't help.
25. Why do you take surveys?: so you fall asleep reading this and fail your essay
26. Do you drink alcohol?: Rarely. For posting this, Brown is going to eject me.
27. Did you like or do you like high school?: I liked some aspects and hated others. And by that, I mean I liked Mrs. Dutter and hated Ms. Bryan.
28. What is the most beautiful language?: not English, and certainly not stupidly transliterated Chinese ("napa," moo goo gai pan," "moo shu," "what the fuck this is retarded," etc.)
29. When you are asleep do you like being kissed awake?: Anybody who wakes me up is bound to piss me off, even if it's a kiss. The only exception is waking me up for exams.
30. Do you like sunrises or sunsets the most?: Do I like waking up early in the morning or in the evening?
31. Do you want to live to be 100?: I would be the most senile person ever.
32. Do you think women should be expected to shave their body hair?: Not really. It's just one of those societal things that happen, so you can't imagine it not happening. But if nobody ever did it, it wouldn't be a big deal. Most girls don't do it in China, or at least not where I've been.
33. Do you like salty food or sugary food the most?: Sweet meals suck, but for a snack, sweet is good.
34. Is a flat stomach important to you?: I'm going to have a potbelly in about ten years... it's inevitable. It's also the only place fat will accumulate. I hate my genes.
35. Do you or have you played with a ouija board?: what?
36. Are you loyal?: until I backstab you, yes.
37. Are you tolerant of other peoples beliefs?: only if their beliefs are the same as mine (You can get a Model T in any color as long as it's black.)
38. When you watch movies at home, do you like the lights on or off?: Off
39. Do you believe in magic?: no
40. Do you have nightmares frequently: No. A few nights ago, Eva was in my dream, but it was not a nightmare(!). She fed me watermelon. I know... wtf, right? I don't know why she'd ever do that, even in my dreams.
41. Do you like your nose?: no
42. Do you like abstract art?: The only time I'd answer yes to that is if you held my nuts at gunpoint and told me to say yes.
43. Do you think you can draw well?: I can draw rectangles in Paint Shop Pro, and if I'm lucky, I can even fill it in with a solid color.
44. Do you listen to music daily?: Yes, and we all know what effect this music has on me.
45. Do you like to watch cartoons?: Tom and Jerry!
46. At what age did you find out that Santa Claus wasn't real?: They didn't teach me about Santa Claus where I'm from. They taught me about Communism. When I moved to America, a bunch of white kids told me about Santa, confirming my suspicions that Americans were complete loons. A fat guy flying around dropping gifts down chimneys? That's clearly biased against those who don't have chimneys. Elitist capitalist bastards. To each according to his needs! Not according to those who have chimneys.
47. How many pairs of shoes do have in your closet?: like six
48. Do you like to wear the same shoes everyday or do you like a variety?: same
49. Do you write poetry?: Poetry is useless, like abstract art.
50. Do you snore?: Not loudly enough to wake myself up. Basically this means that my snoring is not as loud as the sound of a train colliding with a mountainside, so I don't really know.
51. Do you sleep more on your back, front, or sides?: I have no idea. I roll around so much that my position is essentially random.
52. Would you rather have a poodle or a rottweiler?: HOLD MY POODLE
53. Do you lick stamps? Envelopes?: no
54. Do you use an electric can opener?: Who invented that crap electric device, anyways? Are people too lazy to use a manual can opener and burn that extra half a Calorie? Or are they just too stupid to figure out how to hold the manual can opener? I bet the energy the electric can opener uses to open one can is more than the total energy I've used on all the cans I've ever opened in my life. There goes conservationism.
55. Have you ridden in a hot air balloon?: I'm really afraid of heights, so this is a bad idea.
56. Which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?: I think physical pain is more acute, but it usually doesn't last as long as emotional pain. But if we were to integrate pain with respect to time...
57. Do you think balding men should shave their heads?: I'm polishing mine if I lose my hair.
58. Do you know anyone who is clinically depressed?: Not that I'm aware of.
59. Do you prefer a piano or a violin?: piano, because it is less gay
60. Are you a sex addict?: no
61. Do you know someone who has cancer?: I did
62. Do you like to argue?: yes
63. Do you hunt?: no
64. Do you like fast food joints, or expensive restaurants?: "does a Chinaman like to spend money"
65. Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum?: Would I like to throw some unsuspecting kid into the lion cage, or would I like to bore myself to death looking at flowery, flowing images of splattered paint gone wrong?
66. Do you have a middle name? What is it?: Ruidong, and if you're Chinese, be ashamed of yourself if you think the first part of that is pronounced "rue" or "ruey" or "rwee"
67. Are you basically a happy person?: yeah
68. Are you tired?: yes
69. Did you drink anything with caffeine in it today?: not yet
70. Have you ever met anyone off the internet?: Does Fox count? But yes, I have.
71. How many phones do you have in your house?: Loads in operation + stockpiled phones from Black Friday.
72. How long is your hair?: most of an inch
73. Do you get along with your parents?: most of the time
74. What color of eyes do you prefer? near-black

9:08PM

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