Zhanga: October 13, 2005

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Thursday, October 13, 2005 (5 comments)

Here's my daily complaining about how much the world sucks and should die... like the Un-Xanga of the good ol' days.

I wanted to go to Suntrust today to deposit a couple of checks, so I looked up a bank location on the Suntrust site. It said there was a location at 100 Trent Drive, which is pretty near. I printed a map from Google Maps, which pointed to the same location as Suntrust's less detailed map. I tried to walk directly there from the physics building by cutting across stuff, but ended up walking only 1/3 of the way before being blocked by very large buildings and a very large pile of coal. Very large. Before today, I had never seen a pile of coal larger than me. This pile could fit a million of my bodies, and maybe more, depending on how much you desiccate these bodies of mine. Anyways, I walked along the obstructions, hoping to find a gap somewhere. Before long, I ended up where I started. I lost about 30 minutes walking in a circle, and burned a whole bunch of ATP in the process.

Next, I decided to follow a marked road. That took 20 minutes, but at least this time I got to Trent Drive. I walked towards the area where the Suntrust was supposed to be. Google Maps had a box at 100 Trent Drive which was about 6 mm square on my printed map. Once I got there, I realized that, based on the surroundings, this translated to only about 10 feet square. (I know, I know, inconsistent units. Well, you know what? I'm going to be an econ major, and I'm going to use completely arbitrary units like utils. So eat it.) Within these hundred square feet lay two trees and a large sign detailing the unrelated construction project across the street. It was ridiculous. Anyways, it was in the corner of a small grass field, which was about twice the size of our first-floor bathroom in Brown. I wish I had my camera with me. There was supposed to be a Suntrust in a random small island of grass...

I was pretty pissed by this point. I had come straight out of my math midterm, where I had made some stupid mistakes. I hadn't had lunch yet, and I was really thirsty. And to top it all off -- get this -- a bus drove by with a HUGE photo across its side of a ripe, juicy, quartered watermelon dripping with juice. What the fuck????????? I swear they did that just to piss me off.

I walked to the end of Trent Drive, which isn't very long, and all the way back, looking for signs of this bank. Nope. So I asked a random valet guy for the nearest Suntrust. I was told to go down Trent, turn left on Erwin, and go down four blocks to LaSalle. It'd be on the intersection.

I walked and walked with the image of that watermelon lingering in my mind the whole way. I passed a big, smelly, and dead raccoon on the sidewalk being eaten by insects, which almost managed to delete the watermelon thought. I passed an abandoned Pizza Hut whose parking lot was crammed full of 40 or so cars with a combined value less than that of my Protégé which actually makes them worth less than the electrons that fed this webpage to your computer.

I noticed that this abandoned Pizza Hut was at the intersection of Erwin and LaSalle. Where was Suntrust? I didn't see one anywhere. I went to the other side of the intersection, and there was a little plaza there.  But no banks. So I asked some guy in the parking lot, and he pointed me across the street. Apparently Suntrust had hidden their little (half the size of Pizza Hut) building behind and below the abandoned Pizza Hut. LaSalle slopes downwards quite steeply, so if you're trying to see the Suntrust from Erwin (the main road), you can't.

At least things went well after I got in. I was only in there for about five minutes. I got back to East not long after this, which was still almost two hours after I started, and I was starving. So I bought sushi...

About a week ago, I had gotten some sushi from Trinity that was called "Con-fuzion" or something retarded like that. It came with some green gunk that they (shamefully, I hope) call wasabi and an oversized thimble of this spicy yellow sauce, which was pretty good. I never did figure out what that yellow stuff was, probably because I'm uncultured. Anyways, I got the same kind of sushi right after I got back from the bank, and it didn't come with anything resembling wasabi. I guess that's why they call it "Con-fuzion." Maybe it won't come with the yellow stuff next time. (Look, it's already confusing me and I haven't even bought the next one yet.)

But forget the green and yellow stuffs for a second. You know what the only thought in my mind was? Yeah. I wanted watermelon, and I was pissed off at whoever put that on the side of the bus. The bus was turning towards me when I saw it, too, so I was exposed to that taunting image for as long a period of time as possible. Inconsiderate piece of crap.

You know, this could be the one, single Zhanga post all year that stays on the same topic all the way through. And that's why this last random paragraph is here.

2:42AM

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