Zhanga: October 2005
Entries have their own pages now. Click the date to see the entry by itself with its comments.
Thursday, October 27, 2005 (5 comments)
Rosie is sitting in my room writing a paper about female genital mutilation. I can't stop cringing at the pain that this causes in my mind. Discussing things like bleeding the clitoris with a razor makes me want to put on headphones and listen at high volume to poppy music gayer than anything I've ever listened to before.
Why is this happening? Can't her essay be on something more interesting, like the lack of watermelon at the Marketplace?
My brain is still in severe mental pain shock, so this post is ending a little early.
11:20PM
Tuesday, October 25, 2005 (4 comments)
Ahhh! My stat book told me to use "Minitab or similar softwear." And about two days after I complained about people using light-year as a unit of time, I read an article that used it in that way. My brain is going to explode.
That was quite unrelated to what I wanted to say, though. By the way, the rest of this post is completely pointless. It's kind of like that post a few posts down, so don't read it if you want to be entertained.
Right before I fell asleep last night, I was thinking about the past. Specifically, I was thinking about the past two years of science bowl and how that's something I'll never be able to look forward to again. I know... this makes me a completely dork. When I think about it, though, I realize how science bowl was just two free trips to DC and one to South Carolina. We had maybe three days of scheduled stuff which wasn't bad (especially considering the price), and the rest of the time we goofed off however we wanted to. We were so laid-back and never really spent any time doing science, which contrasted with just about every other team there. Even the teams that sucked were super-hardcore about it. TJ's team was so disciplined that they could probably buzz in formation and cause the buzzer to crash because it wouldn't know who buzzed first. I just wish we were organized enough to not have to resort to Ronjon for calculus (ha!).
Then that visit to the nuke dump thing. It was interesting how we all fell asleep while the lady was telling us about our surroundings as we rode in the van to the building. It's not surprising that she said she hadn't encountered a group like us. It's hard to imagine some kid from any other team sticking a camera up his teammate's bathrobe and flashing. Uhh, was that story never supposed to leave the hotel bathroom?
All those memories. I don't think I'll ever forget those.
Then there's Dutter, who never told us to practice and always assured us we'd fail. It went from the "I don't even need to see the score" to "Oh! I told the entire department that I was SURE you guys would win!" I don't know what's worse, being blatantly discouraging or blatantly lying to cover up the fact that she is blatantly discouraging. She couldn't even keep a straight face when she said that, either. She seriously should get the "most encouraging" superlative.
At least she made us popcorn and gave us drinks while telling us we are never going to get anywhere. Anyways, she's something else I'll never forget.... hey... where is our $2000...
It still cracks me up to think that Paul G thought Dutter wrote a book entitled How to Live Forever.
I guess there were a few crappy things, too. The people who went on that trip in the past were probably actually good at science. That means they wouldn't have almost drowned themselves by swimming out too far...
And as I was thinking of this last night, GHP also popped into my mind. But there's a difference. All those people who say "GHP CHANGED MY LIFE!!!!!!!!" are either full of crap or are just better than me. You know what I got out of GHP? Let me tell you a story.
Two weeks ago, I was taking a shower in the early morning, around 11 o'clock. I was pretty much falling asleep in the shower, and then all of a sudden I found myself wide awake, having just jumped out of the shower stream and towards a wall of the shower stall. Why? I thought about it for a second, and then realized that at Valdosta State, when one person flushes the toilet, the showers get unbearably hot. Wow. 2+ years after GHP, I still have this reflex. And in that time (Russell Peters's "somebody gonna get hurt reeaaal bad" just came to mind), I've rarely, if ever, been in a shower from which I could hear toilets flushing. That dormant thing in me suddenly came alive with the sound of a toilet. Amazing.
So in a way, GHP has changed my life forever. But the more I think about it, the more I realize that a toilet reflex just doesn't compare to the DC and Savannah trips. Someday, Ronjon will use Rolle's Theorem to discover aleins, and I'll be able to proudly say that I knew him and that his dad had breakfast with Calvin. Aleins was not a typo.
In case you haven't noticed, I really have milked myself dry on these Zhanga posts. Nothing interesting has happened in the past however many days, so to entertain myself I had to resort to swimming in nostalgia. Since this blog is an extension of my mind, it swims in nostalgia too, just a digital form of it.
4:14AM
Thursday, October 20, 2005 (7 comments)
Today is the day when I don't actually write anything and let others do all the talking for me.
Not long ago, I found a fun little toy... an IM bot. If you don't know what that is, basically it's a program that chats with you and pretends to be a human. I installed it and ran it on icydog1 for a while and I got some pretty funny results. Yufei IMd me one day, and after about 15 lines, thought that my bot was Rosie.
How he came up with that idea is another story, since my bot sent lines like "burrrrrrito!" to him, but that's beside the point. The point is that he asked Eva to IM me just for kicks, and I guess she was feeling nice that day (whoa!) and actually did it. So she IMd me and my bot responded for me. After 45 lines, she realized that it was a bot:
eVa: do u have on a damn bot
Me: are you angry?
But not before this could happen:
eVa: i wish i could get liposuction
Me: sounds about right
Whoever wrote this bot is clearly a genius. Even if it's not perfect, that line about liposuction... utterly amazing. Word-for-word what I would have said. (It doesn't have any "training" mode, either. As soon as the bot runs for the first time, it has already magically inherited my awesomeness.)
By the way, Bill, I haven't actually responded to any of your IMs in the past two weeks. I think you've been wondering why I've been weird, and that's because you've just been talking to my bot. I was going to see how long it'd take for you to figure it out, but after a while, that gets pretty boring.
The next little tidbit is a testament to Ms. Bryan's scarring influence on our lives. We were talking about a certain cute boy (ok, let's face it, he's cute and that's as straight as I can make it sound) and somehow ended up here. Use your imagination to fill in the missing names if they aren't glaringly obvious to you.
Me: he and [a certain cute girl]
reaaaallly need to get together
Whore: yeah!
Whore: or
Whore: him and some really tall butch manly girl
Me: oh god no
Me: that made me think of ms bryan
Me: jeez
Whore: ME TOO
I don't know why Tricia would ever think of "him and some really tall butch manly girl," especially if Ms. Bryan was the first thing that came to mind, but I guess she has her own little (or not-so-little) fantasies, and I really shouldn't question them.
This sounds like a good Photoshop project. If only I were 1337 enough... imagine the possibilities...
One last thing. I made a high school Facebook account just for kicks, and basically everything on my profile has to do with Dutter (periods 1-8, favorite quotes, etc). Well, my favorite book is listed as "How to Live Forever (J. Dutter)," and the next day when I got on my computer, I noticed that Eva had left me a message with what Paul said just after he saw my profile:
paul g: wait?
paul g: dutter wrote a BOOK?
Even if that's all the satisfaction I ever get from making that account, it was worth it.
11:29PM
Tuesday, October 18, 2005 (1 comment)
Somebody is being Demanding again! Ok, I'll write something a little more interesting than the last post, which shouldn't be difficult. And this one is just for you =)
I was at Dale's, that Indian restaurant, sometime this weekend. I ordered lamb something (vindaloo?), and the description said it was cooked in [some adjectives] potatoes. When I got the food, there were three or four piece of lamb, each the size of a Monopoly piece, and there were no potatoes anywhere to be found. I got screwed.
That wasn't the interesting part. The interesting part was the menu. A few items caught my eye as soon as I picked up the menu: Shrimp Sag, Chicken Sag, and Lamb Sag. (Go ahead, make fun of me.) You can pretty easily guess what I was thinking -- where is Fox Sag?
I accidentally deleted the 童话 video =( And it's taking forever to re-download. And that reminds me. I was in Old Chem again yesterday (where somebody was playing 我们的爱 the other day) and I heard some sag speaking in Chinese. Seconds later, she popped out of her room/office/whatever and tried to speak English to an American. This girl would envy even my mother's English skills. But this still doesn't explain why I heard the song in the lobby, because her office is on the second floor. The number of Chinese fobs here is scaring me.
I love my train of thought. Anyways, the next thing I'm going to talk about is my dad because his English sucks too. My parents and sister were here over the break, and my dad was asking about school. He asked if I had any periods with TAs, which of course I do. Then here's the funny part. He asked me if my TAs can speak English, and proceeded to tell me that none of his TAs in college could speak English.
(Flash scene: Russell Peters video, father on phone with Eastern European lady, saying "Ok. I've said hello twice. I would like to purchaaaassseee your couch!")
If you haven't burst out laughing by now, you're either a huge idiot or you think my dad is white, in which case you're probably a huge idiot. My dad made fun of people for not being able to speak English! My mom quickly pwned him by telling him it wasn't the TAs who couldn't speak English; he just couldn't understand any of them. Which was probably the case.
I hate how everything I write leads to something else. I wrote an email to my sister and began a sentence with "And," and she told me that's not allowed. Don't you love how ~1/3 of what you learn in elementary school is just plain wrong? Remember how a noun is either a person, place, thing, or animal (well, that's what I was told)? I still haven't figured out why "thing" doesn't already include the other three things. It's still too exclusive, either way. And they taught Bohr's model of the atom where electrons are like planets. Then in high school, if you're lucky, they tell you that model got scrapped sometime in the Dark Ages when your grandparents were your age.
Even better is "you can't subtract a big number from a small number." Sure, it makes it easier to teach for the time being, but can't you just say, "It's possible, but we won't go into that"? Or at least something that avoids outright lies?
Oh great. Hopefully this will be the last random semi-connected thought. This systematic method of lying reminds me of tech support. Somebody I know actually stopped using Firefox because Comcast said their servers don't support Firefox. I call serious bullshit! That's like saying the DOT doesn't support your cupholders, and therefore your car won't work on the interstate. Use Microsoft (TM) certified cupholders instead. However, your car may become remotely controlled by a malicious hacker within the next 4 seconds, causing a serious crash. (Hey, that worked out better than I had expected.)
Now, I could complain about gas prices, but I've already stayed up far too long fulfilling somebody's demand. At least writing these things is good self-entertainment. Otherwise I would have quit long ago. It's fun reading old entries. Try some of the earliest ones. I was such an angry kid, geez. Ok wtf, I started writing random stuff again after I just told myself I'd go to sleep.
I've been wanting to post this for a while, so check out what I found in Social Sciences:
Read the signs. They say:
Please do not put food in the recycling bins -- THERE IS A TRASH CAN n FEET AWAY!
(where n is 3, 5, and 7, from left to right)
I didn't actually measure, but the distance from those signs to the trash can at the left really does look like 3, 5, and 7 feet. Also, to the left of the trash can, out of the photo, there is another recycling thing with another sign like these (with n = 5). If I were somewhere like MIT (or GT), I would say "only at MIT..." but this is Duke and it just makes less sense here. Which is a good thing, I guess. But seriously, who had the time to make these signs?
4:33AM
Monday, October 17, 2005 (1 comment)
Oops. I would have updated earlier, but I installed Linux and completely b0rked my Windows installation. So I had to reinstall both.
<tech rant>
I installed Fedora Core (Linux) on my laptop a few weeks ago, and I've gotten everything on it to work as well as or better than its previous Windows equivalent (music player, office suite, etc.) except for suspend, but that's the crappy ATI driver's fault and they're supposedly working on it. So I decided to give Linux a try on my desktop (no ATI), too. (And you should too.)
Well, Mandriva Linux is supposed to be the easiest distro to use, and the new version (2006) came out less than a week ago, so I decided to give it a try. BAM! It fried the contents of my hard drive in such a way that neither it nor Windows would boot, and recovery tools had no effect. Retarded. I saved most of my data, though.
So I reformatted my drives, repartitioned, etc. so that it would work. Installed XP, then Mandriva again. Everything worked ok. Mandriva wasn't hard to figure out initially, but it was a little more annoying than Fedora. For example, it kept asking for the dumb root password and wouldn't cache it, so the initial configuration was a pain because I had to type that password 50 times every 10 minutes.
But at least things worked pretty well... that is, until I decided to install the Nvidia (how do you capitalize that?) drivers for my Geforce. I didn't actually get to the installation part, which I'm sure would have been a huge pain because it involves recompiling the kernel. So... what caused me to not install those drivers?
On the Nvidia home page, there is a Flash animation. Firefox (and every other browser I know of) doesn't ship with a Flash plugin, so you have to download it. Well, Firefox happens to have this nifty plugin finder thing that installs plugins for you with 3-4 easy clicks on the "Next" button. Works fine for Flash on XP, and works just as well in Fedora. Actually, the only thing I've noticed that it doesn't work perfectly for is Java, in which case it links you to the Java download page. It takes about 10 seconds to install Flash from the first click to completion. I tried this on Mandriva, and it failed the first two times. The third time, it said that the Flash 7 player was available... but it's for paid subscription members only.
Back to Flash. Let's think about this for a second. The Flash player is FREE. It's free for every operating system that it runs on, including Linux. But Mandriva doesn't let me install it without paying? Even Microsoft, the most greedy entity on the planet, lets me install Flash player without paying. I guess Mandriva is setting new standards in greediness.
In order to get Flash to work, I'd probably have to take the free Fedora RPM and hack it into shape so that it'll work on Mandriva. Either that or somehow (illegally) obtain the source code and compile it. Do I really want to go through all this trouble for something that takes 10 seconds on Fedora, and even on Windows? No.
Two hours and a reformat later, Fedora was running. And it didn't destroy Windows. As a side note, the Nvidia drivers for Mandriva are available in an RPM that doesn't involve recompiling anything. Of course, this is available only if you pay. Not so on Fedora. All I've gotta do on Fedora to install those drivers is type one command and push "y" once.
Another reason Mandriva sucks: I tried running the update program, but it failed the first few times because its default update sources point to servers that have updates for the 2005 version. I had to manually type in addresses for updates to Mandriva 2006. Firefox, incidentally, was one of the updates. Interestingly, Mandriva 2006 (released to the public Oct 13) comes with Firefox 1.0.6. I ran the update and it just gave me a slightly newer Firefox 1.0.6. Firefox 1.0.7 was released by Mozilla on Sept 21. Why does Mandriva not have it? The Fedora software repository has had it forever already.
Conclusion: Don't use Mandriva. If you're going to get Mandriva, just use Windows instead because they're both about as gay. And I think it's easier to pirate software for Windows than for Mandriva...
</tech rant>
Ok, now to the normal stuff. I only wrote that because making me pay for free software is ridiculous and it seriously pissed me off.
After that hard-earned bank deposit of last Thursday, I wanted to make sure my efforts weren't futile, so I checked online after business hours on Friday. Checks deposited after 2 PM are supposed to be credited by the next business day, so Friday night should have been enough time. Well, it wasn't there, so I called because it was a large sum of money. The lady (she didn't sound Indian, so either she's about to lose her job or she's moved to India so that she can get a job) told me that they server is down and that updates are being processed. She said it'll be done updating in 5 hours, at about 7 AM.
Do banks really only update their sites once every 24 hours? You figure that 60 years after the ENIAC, they should have data systems sophisticated enough to handle real-time data. Well, I'm probably digging deeper than my shovel's capable of. In any case, as soon as I hung up, I pushed refresh and noticed that my account balance had increased by the amount of my deposit.
Dan just muttered something to me as he walked out of the dorm. I have NO IDEA what came out of his mouth, except that I heard "... qaeccmu four hours matnouiakideoths." at the end.
In other news, I got my project proposal for stat back. I noticed that everyone else's papers had red all over them, with comments and stuff. Mine only had two sentences, and the second one was, "Let's talk more about your procedure."
What a great sign! Well, at least it's only worth 5%. I'll just ace everything else in the class... right? Right.
I might write more when I get back. I'm going to talk with the professor now. He's a nice guy, so at least I'll come out alive, even if I have to start over on this project. (This is in stark contrast with some teachers I know. Yes, that's you, O Lard Devil.)
By the way, look at the time. Yes, that says PM, not AM.
2:50PM
Thursday, October 13, 2005 (5 comments)
Here's my daily complaining about how much the world sucks and should die... like the Un-Xanga of the good ol' days.
I wanted to go to Suntrust today to deposit a couple of checks, so I looked up a bank location on the Suntrust site. It said there was a location at 100 Trent Drive, which is pretty near. I printed a map from Google Maps, which pointed to the same location as Suntrust's less detailed map. I tried to walk directly there from the physics building by cutting across stuff, but ended up walking only 1/3 of the way before being blocked by very large buildings and a very large pile of coal. Very large. Before today, I had never seen a pile of coal larger than me. This pile could fit a million of my bodies, and maybe more, depending on how much you desiccate these bodies of mine. Anyways, I walked along the obstructions, hoping to find a gap somewhere. Before long, I ended up where I started. I lost about 30 minutes walking in a circle, and burned a whole bunch of ATP in the process.
Next, I decided to follow a marked road. That took 20 minutes, but at least this time I got to Trent Drive. I walked towards the area where the Suntrust was supposed to be. Google Maps had a box at 100 Trent Drive which was about 6 mm square on my printed map. Once I got there, I realized that, based on the surroundings, this translated to only about 10 feet square. (I know, I know, inconsistent units. Well, you know what? I'm going to be an econ major, and I'm going to use completely arbitrary units like utils. So eat it.) Within these hundred square feet lay two trees and a large sign detailing the unrelated construction project across the street. It was ridiculous. Anyways, it was in the corner of a small grass field, which was about twice the size of our first-floor bathroom in Brown. I wish I had my camera with me. There was supposed to be a Suntrust in a random small island of grass...
I was pretty pissed by this point. I had come straight out of my math midterm, where I had made some stupid mistakes. I hadn't had lunch yet, and I was really thirsty. And to top it all off -- get this -- a bus drove by with a HUGE photo across its side of a ripe, juicy, quartered watermelon dripping with juice. What the fuck????????? I swear they did that just to piss me off.
I walked to the end of Trent Drive, which isn't very long, and all the way back, looking for signs of this bank. Nope. So I asked a random valet guy for the nearest Suntrust. I was told to go down Trent, turn left on Erwin, and go down four blocks to LaSalle. It'd be on the intersection.
I walked and walked with the image of that watermelon lingering in my mind the whole way. I passed a big, smelly, and dead raccoon on the sidewalk being eaten by insects, which almost managed to delete the watermelon thought. I passed an abandoned Pizza Hut whose parking lot was crammed full of 40 or so cars with a combined value less than that of my Protégé which actually makes them worth less than the electrons that fed this webpage to your computer.
I noticed that this abandoned Pizza Hut was at the intersection of Erwin and LaSalle. Where was Suntrust? I didn't see one anywhere. I went to the other side of the intersection, and there was a little plaza there. But no banks. So I asked some guy in the parking lot, and he pointed me across the street. Apparently Suntrust had hidden their little (half the size of Pizza Hut) building behind and below the abandoned Pizza Hut. LaSalle slopes downwards quite steeply, so if you're trying to see the Suntrust from Erwin (the main road), you can't.
At least things went well after I got in. I was only in there for about five minutes. I got back to East not long after this, which was still almost two hours after I started, and I was starving. So I bought sushi...
About a week ago, I had gotten some sushi from Trinity that was called "Con-fuzion" or something retarded like that. It came with some green gunk that they (shamefully, I hope) call wasabi and an oversized thimble of this spicy yellow sauce, which was pretty good. I never did figure out what that yellow stuff was, probably because I'm uncultured. Anyways, I got the same kind of sushi right after I got back from the bank, and it didn't come with anything resembling wasabi. I guess that's why they call it "Con-fuzion." Maybe it won't come with the yellow stuff next time. (Look, it's already confusing me and I haven't even bought the next one yet.)
But forget the green and yellow stuffs for a second. You know what the only thought in my mind was? Yeah. I wanted watermelon, and I was pissed off at whoever put that on the side of the bus. The bus was turning towards me when I saw it, too, so I was exposed to that taunting image for as long a period of time as possible. Inconsiderate piece of crap.
You know, this could be the one, single Zhanga post all year that stays on the same topic all the way through. And that's why this last random paragraph is here.
2:42AM
Sunday, October 9, 2005 (7 comments)
Look at Bill's Xanga:
5 snacks I enjoy:
- meat
- watermelon
- coke
- meat
- meat
This here is called shameless plagiarism. Need I elaborate?
It's only 3, my sister is asleep, and I don't want to sleep just yet. Sooo...
10 years ago I was:
- completely fobby (if you think I'm fobby now...)
- wondering whether Charles was schizophrenic or just liked taking his pants
off in front of me randomly
- supposedly being babysat by Rosanna's mom but actually next door at Will's
like 95% of the time
- a year away from burying myself in computers. I'm still digging.
- wondering why the fuck this happened:
This kid happened to hear somehow that I didn't believe in
God.
Matthew (I think that was his name): "Do you believe
in God?"
Me: "No."
Matthew: "You don't believe in God?"
Me: "Nope."
Matthew [in a tattle-tale voice, while running
to the teacher's desk]: "Ooooooooooooo, he doesn't believe in Gooooooooood!
Missus Creel! David doesn't believe in God!"
Mrs. Creel [glaring at
me]: "Keep your beliefs to yourself!"
Back then, I was a lot more passive than I am now, which is saying a lot. But if this were to have happened to me at Walton, you can bet your life savings that it would have gotten really ugly, really fast. By the way, I think I figured out why it happened. I was in a Georgia public school.
5 years ago I was:
- wondering where Charles went. (Wait, what? That was 4 years ago. Get your
dates right, Charles!)
- wondering wtf Charles was doing with that German girl. (Now that was
5 years ago.)
- causing trouble at Dickerson, like posting Farewell to Manzanar answers
on my website for everyone in McGeehan's literacy class.
- beginning my habit of sleeping in class, which I find hard to break now.
- hated by Mary =( What a crappy period of time.
1 year ago I was:
- caught speeding, just over a year ago. That whore.
- owning Science Bowl for Dutter.
- not only unconscious during class, but by at least one definition, dead.
- complaining constantly about the Devil.
- writing my SAT II: Writing essay about why bombing Japan was the correct choice
(excellent choice of topic, I must say). That was 1 year ago, to the day.
Yesterday I:
- got loads of Chinese food from my parents.
- saw my sister for the first time in a month and a half (and my parents too,
but that's a side issue).
- drove our new car. After driving the Protégé for a few years, driving a Lexus
feels a little different. Actually, the biggest difference (seriously) is that
I'm a lot more careful because it actually matters if I hit something. If I'm
driving the old POS and I run into a fire hydrant or I grind a curb, who really
gives a flip? I can skid around like there's no tomorrow and hey, if I land
off the road and into a ditch.. oh well. It doesn't matter. So if I had a choice,
I would actually rather drive the old POS for most trips.
- saw this smoking hot girl at a Chinese restaurant. Funny thing is,
when the tea came, the smell of Chinese tea completely captured my mind and
I only thought about food for the rest of the night. It's interesting how powerful
withdrawal really is.
- tried to get my stupid sister to sleep but she wouldn't cooperate until it
was like 4:30 AM and she was about to drop over dead.
5 snacks I enjoy:
- watermelon
- popcorn
- 肉松
- yam
- fried meat of anyone who plagiarizes my stuff, especially anyone who is enough
of a moron to think that Coke is a snack
5 songs I know all the words to:
- F.I.R. - 我们的爱
- 光良 - 童话
- Britney Spears - Baby One More Time
- Vitamin C - Graduation
- Groove Coverage - 7 Years and 50 Days
I bet you're really surprised by this list, especially the first three.
5 things I would do with 100 million dollars:
- hurry up and learn econ so I can be a supereconomist, and then invest it.
- get like 10 million of a slightly better version of my crappy car, so I could
go through like 100 a day and have no worries.
- get a nice house. Hire a maid. Hire a tax-loophole lawyer.
- go to China and go crazy at those open markets.
- sleep in peace, knowing I don't have to get up early to earn anything.
5 places I would run away to:
- under my bed
- the closet (yes, this one is just for you)
- the tunnels under East
- the Motherland
- the Army. I mean, if I wanted to run away, what better than a free ticket
to Iraq?
5 things i would never wear:
- earrings
- anything-rings
- a skirt
- whoever put man-thongs here is clearly not thinking properly, or is just in
a massive sexual identity crisis. Would you wear a woman-thong?
- a Von Dutch cap
5 favorite TV shows:
- Tom & Jerry
- Whose Line
- Beauty and the Geek. Whatever happened to that? Did someone tape it for me?
I want to watch the rest of it!
- Scooby Doo
- C-SPAN
5 bad habits:
- eating way too much watermelon and regretting it 20 minutes later. I'm not
talking puny amounts. I'm talking at least 10 lbs without exaggeration.
- staying up late
- eating junk food, not enough nutritious stuff
- forgetting everything
- sucking at life? Does that count as a bad habit?
5 biggest joys:
- my sister, duh!
- people who I like less than my sister (that's you, unless I don't like you,
which is probably true)
- eating watermelon...
- getting raped in ping pong
- sleeping
5 fictional characters I would date:
- Mary. From There's Something About Mary.
- Misty from Pokemon... she's hot.
- While I'm on the subject of Pokemon... about 10 minutes into the game, you're
supposed to go to your rival Gary's sister to get a map. Then you collect Pokemon
and try to beat Gary as you follow the map to the end because, supposedly, you
and Gary have always been rivals. I've always wondered, wtf, why not just bang
his sister? "Hey check it out Gary, I fucked your sister and I don't have a
sister! I win, sucker!" Why collect stupid worthless creatures when his sister
is right there, alone in that house in an almost-empty town, waiting
for someone to screw her? I mean, I'm sure she's lonely. The only other guy
in town is the ancient Professor Oak and surely she's not into that kind
of thing. That would surely get Gary ticked off more than if you beat his dumb
Pokemon with your dumb Pokemon. By the time he finds out, it'd be too late anyways.
What a worthless game! You can take her map but not her virginity? Wtf? And
how do I remember so much from this game when I can't even remember last week's
math topic?
- That girl in Road Trip is fhot.
- I may need to consult with our hentai expert before I answer this one. And
by hentai expert, yes, I am referring to KT.
5 ppl i tag to do this are:
- I have no friends.
Random stuff now:
I tried to crack some AIM passwords that I sniffed a few days ago, but then I realized that they're MD5ed twice, and the second round of MD5 involves a string that's something like 50 characters long. In English, that means it'd take ~10a lot of light-years to crack anything.
You know, it bugs me when people use light-year as a measure of time. You figure that by now, half a century after the beginning of the space age, people would know that a light-year is not some period of time. But nooo, people are retarded. Oh well.
It's like how I get annoyed when people ask me if I'm Mandarin or Cantonese. Do I look like a small, round, sweet fruit to you? (I'm not sweet, just FYI.) I guess "Cantonese" is slightly more excusable, because Canton is actually a place and places seem to like having -ese shoved into their rears. "Cantonese" still refers only to the language, though.
In any case, do I look like the type who would speak the stupidest-sounding Chinese dialect ever? (No.) I wouldn't have written that if Will were within range (I'm talking, like, within a 40 miles radius an hour after Taco Bell beans), but he's not, and he'll either not read this or forget by the next time I see him. Besides, I'm still going to suffocate next time I see him anyways, so whatever.
Back to the AIM thing. So I've established that I can't steal AIM passwords by sitting in my room and listening to photons flying through the air. But you know what I can hear? IMs... which could actually be more interesting than passwords. I mean IMs that I'm not supposed to be able to see. I can already see a proposed AIM Conversation Eavesdropper being a rejected CS project.
4:48AM
Friday, October 7, 2005 (3 comments)
I initially spelled the month "Octobor." I own.
Yufei sent me this link about a really retarded python. Apparently some Burmese python invaded Florida and attacked its natives, but a heroic kamikaze American alligator was just too much for him to swallow (ha... ha...). And here we have it, Darwin/The Art of War at work again.
I had two midterms yesterday, one in CS and then one in stat 10 minutes later. After stat, I went to the lobby of the Old Chem building and took out my econ book. There is usually econ lecture on Thursday afternoons, but the professor cancelled it this week and replaced it with [optional] individual sessions. Mine was an hour and a half after that last exam, so I was busy catching up on the last two weeks of lectures to avoid being completely clueless when it's just him and me in his office.
Well, I was reading the book, and the lobby was completely silent. Some black lady was reading a newspaper near me, and no one else was in sight. Then, faintly, I heard:
...你是否爱我
现在我想要自由的天空
远离开这被捆绑的世界
不再寂寞...
It didn't take me long to start wondering why 我们的爱 was playing in Old Chem. You know a school has too many Asians when you can hear that song coming out of chemistry rooms. For all I know, that could have been coming from some professor's office. Then a bunch of people entered and left the building, the song ended, and I returned to reading.
An hour and a half of reading... then I go to his office, talk for fifteen minutes about being Chinese, and leave. I could have spent that hour and a half sleeping. Did you know the Old Chem lobby is an excellent place to nap? Whenever CS lecture lets out early, I nap there before stat. Nice and refreshing.
12:52AM
Wednesday, October 5, 2005 (2 comments)
On my way back from econ yesterday afternoon, I noticed that I had a voice message. So I listened to it, and it was my dad asking me where I put the house keys. I deleted this message, and then I made a completely unrelated call to Akbar. Akbar didn't pick up, so that took maybe 30 seconds. As soon as I hung up, the voice mail icon lit up again. So I listened again, and this time it was my mom basically saying, "Dong dong, your dad can't find the house keys. Call back when you get this."
Take a look at the date of today's post and tell me if this makes any sense at all. I left Georgia on August 24. That was a month and a half ago. I didn't go back and hide the keys between then and now. So I called back, told them I have no earthly idea where the key might be, and that was the end of it.
I'm quite busy this week since there's two midterms tomorrow, so I'm not going to say much. The other thing I wanted to share with the world is that Dan called some traditional Chinese character (I think it was the old 医) "an Überbitch." I actually laughed out loud at this because I immediately thought of Eva. Besides, Eva and a complex object just don't equate =)
P.S. sorry about any crappy scientist questions. Will wrote those, but only because I was lazy. So I guess it's my fault. Anyways, the only one I enjoyed writing (as I'm sure you expected) was the Firefox one.
12:07AM
Monday, October 3, 2005 (1 comment)
Poor overworked Pratt students. My roommate Dan walked in today with a glass bottle of Snapple and took the plastic seal off the top. Then he tried to drink it and realized that he had to first unscrew the metal lid.
That's all I have for today.
Oh, yeah. I also got this Linux program that emulates Windows. Basically, you run it, and it produces various Blue Screens of Death from different versions of Windows. One of its bugs (this is actually listed as a bug) is that you can exit from the BSOD without rebooting.
Oh, and one last thing, courtesy of Arthur.
There's also one like this in the econ book which has ARM and LEG for prices of gas. That one is less likely than this one to have been Photoshopped, but I think this one is funnier.
3:03AM
Sunday, October 2, 2005 (6 comments)
Yesterday was a somewhat eventful day. We went to the mall, as a group, and went to California Pizza Kitchen to eat. They said the wait would be 45 minutes to an hour, and said they'd call us when a table was available. Three hours later, we ate at the food court. We never got a call. Ever.
I saw some pretty nice shirts for ridiculously low clearance prices, like $2.98. You know why I hate America? Because everyone is freaking fat and there are no small sizes ANYWHERE. There was not a single shirt smaller than a medium, and those mediums (all... ten of them) went more than halfway to my knees. There were two or three full racks of larger sizes at those prices. Get some exercise, people!
On the way back, eight of us had to squeeze into one sedan. The girl drove, the biggest guy sat in the front, and the other six piled into the back, with one of the six in the trunk. I stuck my camera into the trunk during the trip and got a picture, but I can't really tell what's going on in it. Actually, I can't even tell which way is up.
Sally asked me to go to a meeting for Duke's humor magazine at around 3, so I got out of bed, took a shower, etc. Then I went and sat there and listened to them while reading through old issues. I think it'd be nice to write for them, but besides the trivial issues of sucking at writing and not being funny, I also have this problem of really not being funny on demand. Unfortunately, I'm not a faucet that you can just turn and have funny flow out of. Uh-oh. As I sat here thinking of the next line to write, I realized that I've inadvertently compared myself to Leaky Faucet. Noooooooooooo!! (If you don't know who Leaky Faucet is, check out #6 on the second quotes page, about torturing prisoners.)
Somebody, tell me how WAC was. Also tell me if a critical flaw was discovered in one of the science questions, causing a two-hour delay and a really angry Ms. Martin. If so, I'll make sure I never show my face again at Walton.
Akbar is coming here in two days. Does that not totally kick ass or what? Apparently he had a ping pong tournament and a white guy won. Wtf was he doing? There is no excuse for this unless it was Forrest Gump, and even then, the part of that movie with Forrest beating the Chinese guy is bogus.
I told my sister to tell my mom that I want 15-20 watermelons here when they come on Friday. I think my mom thought I was serious. She called me and told me she can't bring that many because they will get banged up in the car, and said we can go buy some locally after they get here. She also said that the watermelons will go bad before I can eat them all, but I'm going to assume she was joking. As my mom, she should know by now that 15-20 watermelons aren't going to long enough for that to happen. I would try to make a half-life joke here, but exponentially eating watermelon is kind of weird.
I installed Linux on my laptop, and this is my background. I love this picture:
The penguin is Tux, who represents Linux. He's analogous to the multicolored Windows flag. (If you're really dumb, the butterfly is the MSN butterfly. If you still don't get it, go grab a flyswatter and hit yourself in the face.)
3:35AM
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