Zhanga: March 2005

Entries have their own pages now. Click the date to see the entry by itself with its comments.

Wednesday, March 30, 2005 (4 comments)

For Honors Night, the number of letters doesn't equal how many awards you got. I'm pretty sure they screwed up last year and mailed too many. I only got one letter this year, but I know I got at least one thing each for Science Bowl and Academic Bowl. Probably Worst Student of the Year for science, too.

Two days ago, Jessica asked me for limo money during lunch. This was like a week after she first asked for the money. I made up some bogus about my mom saying she wouldn't pay, and that I didn't have that much money. So I couldn't pay. But "I'll find a way!" She got really angry and looked like she was about to beat me over the head with an inner tube.

I gave her the check a couple of minutes later. I got her good. She then curled up into a ball and rolled herself into a corner.

Five minutes later, James walks in. She asks him for money, and he makes up some bogus about how he can't pay her for two weeks. He barely got off one sentence, and Jess says something like "Yeah, yeah. David already did that. Now give me the money." Then the money comes out.

That could have been the funniest lunch moment that I've witnessed.

I made a Micro Center run today (yes, what else do you think I'm going to do with my license?), and was severely jipped. I am now a noob at what I do best. How sad is that? Now I have to go back and return stuff.

I'm driving to school tomorrow! No more bumming rides! Yes!

11:59PM

Tuesday, March 29, 2005 (1 comment)

I got to the DMVS at about 1 PM and lined up. I got my ticket, C350, at 1:08, and I sat. And sat. And sat...

Their chairs are engineered to be unsleepable, too. It is absolutely impossible to sleep in those chairs. The backs are so low that there is no way to rest your head on it, not even while super-slouching. The armrests are so gay that your arm can't prop up your head no matter what you do. I tried all sorts of combinations. Leaning forward, leaning back, leaning to the side with my butt sticking out, putting Middlesex under my elbow while propping up my head... ugh. I figure if I can't sleep in a chair, then the chair must be designed that way.

An hour and a half later, a lady announced that the computer system died. She read a list of operations that couldn't be performed until it came back online. The first item? Reinstatements.

Actually, this was a good thing. In those ninety minutes, the C desk had advanced from C333 when I walked in to C337. Wow. What a pace. But after this announcement, a lot of people left as the system was coming back online, and C350 was called only (!) another hour and a half later.

During my wait to take the driving test, I was watching some people do the parking portion of the test. Wow, this was funny. Some girl in an SUV wheeled over the corner cone while parallel parking. She didn't just hit it. Her wheel completely smeared it into the pavement. Then she was basically in the space, and she hit a cone in the back. You figure if she hits a cone, she'd stop. But not this girl. She kept going until the cone was flat under her car. Backing into the other parking space was basically a repeat of this, and just as ugly. Nicely done. Somehow, she passed.

The next guy was even better. He parked in the parallel parking space perfectly straight -- straight enough to knock over all three cones on the inside, one after another. Before heading out to the road, his mother stopped him. He stepped out and began struggling to pull off a cone that became stuck on his wheel. Needless to say, this guy was a failure.

Then came my turn, which was fun... in the middle of the trip, my papers flew out the passenger window. Now... could things go more wrong!? Jeez. I had to back up and get out and get the paper. I have no idea how many points I lost from improper maneuvers during that.

I finished everything at 5:10 PM. Five hours. I ended up with a 92. This is better than my average in any class except Comparative (93), and better than the 78 I got last time. So I guess those six months improved my driving.

Basically the point of this post is that I've had a license for six hours and I'm still alive. Oh, and I got lasered in the face today (I saw some really cool colors) by some gay cop in the middle of East Piedmont. Good thing I wasn't doing 80 this time.

11:27PM

Monday, March 28, 2005 (3 comments)

Ronjon read Mary's away message and asked me if I'm going to Davita's AP Lit study session.

Here was Mary's away message in its entirety:

AP LIT: 5 pm @ david's casa

ask him for directions:
icydog1

bye. (bring data sheets)

Great job! Get ready to fall off some more cliffs, or maybe down the stairs in front of the Lincoln Memorial, except this time you'll land on your face, You Got Served style except on concrete.

I can't wait till April 28!

I get my license tomorrow. If you don't see me around on Wednesday, then one of the following occurred:

  1. I failed the test and killed myself.
  2. I failed the test and killed the person scoring me.
  3. I passed the test and started driving for twenty-four hours straight, causing me to miss school the next day.
  4. My car suddenly disintegrated due to old age during interstate travel.

Now back to allusions.

12:18AM

Thursday, March 24, 2005 (2 comments)

APES is gay. I don't want to do it.

Why did came say "Brief list of defendents [sic] (just the ones listed on the map at the front of the book would be fine) and their complaint"? Uhhh, I'm pretty sure that their complaint is... being sued.

___ALL ABOUT ME___

my name: David
my age: 17
the school i go to: walton
where i live: a crater
all of my pets are: loud (e.g. Belinda)
i weigh: 130
my height is: 5'6"

___FAVES___

color: blue
character: Harold
animal: lol
website: gee I wonder
insect: I don't like insects that much, but moths sure are fun to electrically flyswat
tv show: Tom & Jerry
movie: Harold & Kumar!
teacher: this is a toughie.
actor: dunno
actress: dunno
singer: dunno (look, I'm uncultured)
word: ownage/whore
number: 6
instant messenger: icydog1
part of the house: bed
drink: orange juice

___HAVE YOU EVER___

tied youre shoes: never! i still use those velcro things
taken a shower: Chinese people don't need showers
cussed to your bff: I forgot what bff is...
went to hollywood: nope
played hooky: yup
been in a commercial: no
took a survey before: i agree with charles ("this section is so stupid")
made up a song: it was probably about Ms Bryan and babies
failed a test: loads

___PICKY PICKY___

dog or cat: dog
computer or laptop: well, a laptop is a subset of computer... so computer
yahoo or AIM: AIM
tv or radio: tv
phone or cell: not again. a cell is a subset of phone.
heart or star: star
star or moon: well, you can shoot the moon but not a star
public or private school: public
smile or frown: smiles use less muscles and energy. but frowns are better exercise i guess
you or me: what kind of idiot question is this?
fish or hamster: fish
coke or pepsi: apparently Pepsi bottles are good for making bottle rockets... but you have to dump out the liquid first
dog or rabbit: dog
marker or pen: pen
eraser or pencil: pencil
one story or two story: two
usher or 50 cent: usher
love or hate: i hate people
visor or cap: cap
this or that: this
AIM or AOL: here we go with the subset thing again. AIM should burn in hell actually, for making me so unproductive.
ps2 or xbox: xbox
red or pink: red

___WHY___

i am online: i'm always on
i am taking this survey: this APES assignment blows
my name is my name: my first grade teacher got really tired of trying to say Ruidong
school is important: so we all have something in common to whine about
i am bored: APES is boring

___ IN THE PAST___

my favorite memory: sleeping
my first friend: some girl in kindergarten... I don't even know her name any more except that it's spelled xú feī
my first teacher: my grandmother
my first xanga: icydog

___TO THE FUTURE___

i wanna marry: yes
how many kids i want: 1, maybe 2
college: away from here!
im gonna be a: supernerd, without a doubt. what a future full of suck

___RIGHT NOW___

i am: tired
im wearing: hair
im talking to: myself
im craving: watermelon
im thinking of: how much balls Fleenor's assignments suck

___THE LAST___

time i went to the doctors: late January
time i went to the dentist: winter break, I think
person i IMed: Charles
person who IMed you: Charles
person you called: Ms. McWilliams
person who called you: dad
person you hugged: probably my sister
person you kissed: "i dont remember"
person you said i love you to: mary
person who said i love you to you: probably mary
time you cried: something like three years ago, I think
song you listened to: not everytime
letter you typed: e
word you typed: lol
time you were sad: today
time you were happy: it's been a while since I've really been happy

___RANDOM___

can you swim: i can flop around, but its quite a poor excuse for swimming
can you play the piano: kind of...
why are you taking this quiz: you already asked this
would you kill one child to save the whole world: depends who this child is, but most likely yes
would you take your bf or your parents on a trip to hawaii: I don't take people to hawaii
do you like oranges: lots
are you glad this survey is almost done: dunno
what are you gunna do after this survey: APES

11:44PM

Wednesday, March 23, 2005 (2 comments)

The lack of posting has probably led you to correctly assume that this week is hell. Either that, or you heard me complaining about it during one or more of my 6,904 gripe sessions this week.

So... I failed the lit test, hard. Oh well.

Now I have to do the APES book thing, a bio lab, read the lit book, do the character list on it, and study for "The Waste Land" for Friday.

I'll probably have something good to write about next week, after Monday, when Middlesex is due. For now, I am way too tired.

9:24PM

Saturday, March 19, 2005 (13 comments)

Finally! An Academic Bowl trip with some interestingness!

But first, let's start with the boring stuff.

A couple of hours ago, at the final round of the state tournament, we played Brookwood. We were ahead by about 20 points until the half (of the 20 question round). Then, until question 18, each team got alternating questions right, so the lead kept flipping back and forth. At question 18, we were tied. We got the next question, and they got the last question. So it was tied at the end. The tie-breaker was resolved when Brookwood buzzed way too early and missed it.

That was about as bad as the Parkview game at Science Bowl.

Sooo... now for the interesting part.

For some reason (maybe Ms. Martin went crazy), we stayed at a real hotel, a Crowne Plaza, this time. I roomed with James and Pat on the ninth floor.

Well, you can imagine what rooming with James is like:

James, pointing at an empty plastic bag and our window: "Hey, this window opens! Hmm, see these bags of water?"

So we filled five or ten big (size of a backpack) plastic bags with water and let them loose. All but one of them hit a lower roof of the hotel. The one cleared the building and hit the sidewalk below. They all made huge thuds and released lots of water.

Later, a little past midnight, we went downstairs to get a few hundred sheets of paper. Conveniently, there was some kind of fair going on, and paper was everywhere. Then we retreated back to our room. Paper in a ninth floor hotel room with a window... what else could that mean?

We threw out about ten paper airplanes, and all but the first one kept curving away so we couldn't see it. I got annoyed and made five of the same plane, convinced that one of them would fly straight or at least far enough out that we could see it curve.

I stuck my arms out the window (the opening was small, so you had to put your whole arm out in order to throw anything), my left hand holding four airplanes and my right hand getting ready to throw one. It flew beautifully.

As it approached the ground, James noticed that there was a guy down there smoking. Oops, was that an employee tag on his chest? Ten or fifteen minutes later, I looked outside and found three uniformed men lined up, looking at our window. Oops. A minute or two after that, as we were putting on some warm clothing to go pick up the paper, I was talking loudly as usual and said to James, "It would really suck if they found those bags on the roof--"

KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!

Oops.

Well, I guess they didn't hear or something. The three guys were at the door. There was a white guy who was about as alive as a used tissue, another white guy who told us we'd be kicked out if anything else was thrown out of the window, and a black guy who barged in and opened our window to look.

Luckily, James hid the huge stack of paper we had, and also the few remaining bags we had. I don't know how he managed that so quickly since there were things all over the room, but it was good work.

Before they left, the black guy asked, "WHY IS THE WATER RUNNING!?" as if Pat was committing a major offense by taking a shower.

After waiting for the three men to leave, James and I went down there to pick up the planes. As we entered the area below our room, the first paper airplane I found was a piece of crap that looked like something a dead chimp made. I guess other people had fun throwing things out the window too. I bet that "plane" flew gracefully down, as a chunk of soap would.

We found our creations in that area, along with the water bag that hit the sidewalk. A puddle the size of my bedroom surrounded the bag even after ten hours of evaporation.

Before we left, we looked into the windows under the roof that we bombarded. Offices... offices... and more offices. Apparently we had bombed the offices with a large number of water bags. I don't think they were too happy about that.

As James and I were walking back into our rooms, we were laughing and talking about the water bags. Then all of a sudden the black guy pops out from behind a column. Wtf? I don't think he heard us, but what a sneaky bastard. Then the white guy pops out of nowhere (not even from behind a column) and joins the black guy. Whores.

I tried to act normal by making small talk with James: "So, you ready for that math test?" Towards the end of that sentence, I lost it and started laughing.

Apparently, they didn't tell Ms. Martin. She didn't flip out in the morning.

We never heard from management again.

7:34PM

Thursday, March 17, 2005 (4 comments)

My teachers were on a roll today. Here is a good one from Ms. Greenberg: "David, where are your notes?"

Of course, Dr. Camp owns the moment that beats any other moment of the whole year. I was asleep, and apparently she went on and on about how when she's writing the test, she thinks to herself, "Is David going to bitch at me for this question?"

hahahahah

Why did I fall asleep today? I can't believe I missed out on this.

I think on Monday, as I'm making up the test, I'll ask her, "May I please bitch about these questions on Tuesday?"

My sister kicked some boy at school today for no reason. The first thing I thought was... AHHHH!! She's turning into Eva! Then I vomited all over my face, began convulsing, and had to be taken to the emergency room.

I've eaten two bags of sunflower seeds in the past three days. And I'm talking about the big 14 oz bags. I swear, those things are absolutely addicting.

Let me leave you with the brilliancy of Georgians. Yesterday was the government field trip, of course. At one point, we were taken into the upper deck (the bleachers) of the House of Representatives chamber of the Georgia legislature. As we looked down upon the 180 empty seats below us, the tour guide said the most brilliant thing possible:

"It's kind of political in here."

And I didn't take this out of context. It sounds even stupider in context, because before and after this sentence, the tour guide was talking about politicians and representatives and stuff... then she smacks in this line about the House being kind of political.

8:30PM

Wednesday, March 16, 2005 (2 comments)

Let me summarize the past two days:

  1. I got screwed out of the Duke thing.
  2. I got the lowest level of the GT scholarship.
  3. I got rejected from MIT.

An X goes beside all those you haven't done

(_) snuck out of the house
(_) gotten lost in your city
(X) saw a shooting star
   Aren't I the last one you'd expect to not have seen a shooting star?
(_) been to any other countries besides the united states
(X) had a serious surgery (Or will)
(X) gone out in public in your pajamas
(X) kissed a stranger
(_) hugged a stranger
   I don't know. I probably have, but I don't remember.
(_) been in a fist fight
(X) been arrested
   Pretty close...
(_) laughed and had milk/coke come out of your nose
(X) pushed all the buttons on an elevator
(_) swore at your parents
(X) been in love
(_) been to a casino
(X) been skydiving
(X) broken a bone
(X) skinny-dipped
(_) skipped school
(X) flashed someone
(X) saw a therapist
(X) played spin the bottle
(X) gotten stitches
(X) drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour
(_) bitten someone
   Yeah, myself.
(X) been to Niagara Falls
(_) gotten the chicken pox
(_) crashed into a friend's car
   HELL YES! I OWN!
(_) been to Japan
(_) ridden in a taxi
(_) been dumped
(X) been fired
(X) had a crush on someone of the same sex
(_) had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
(X) gone on a blind date
(_) lied to a friend--only to keep them from getting hurt
(X) had a crush on a teacher
   Well, depends if you include Dutter...
(X) celebrated mardi-gras in new orleans
(X) been to Europe
(X) slept with a co-worker
(X) been married
(X) gotten divorced
(X) had children
(X) seen someone die
(X) had a close friend die
(X) been to Africa
(X) Driven over 400 miles in one day
(X) Been to Canada
(X) Been to Mexico
(_) Been on a plane
(X) Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show
(X) Thrown up in a bar
(X) Purposely set a part of myself on fire
(_) Eaten Sushi
(X) Been skiing/snowboarding
(~) Met someone in person from the internet
   More or less.
(X) lost a child
(X) gone to college
(X) graduated college
(X) done hard drugs
(X) tried killing yourself
(X) fired a gun
(_) purposely hurt yourself
(X) taken painkillers
   I've taken Tylenol for fever but not for pain.

Wow, I am a boring person.

High Q airs March 27, the morning of Easter. Just watch the last third because I was basically asleep for the beginning.

12:30AM

Sunday, March 13, 2005 (7 comments)

I skipped on Thursday, and Dutter called me that night. She talked a little bit about science bowl, then she asked if I'm feeling better and told me to get some more rest.

I couldn't tell if she was being sarcastic or what... because she's Dutter, and she has to know that I skipped. I mean, did she really think I was sick? She couldn't have... but she didn't sound sarcastic either. Women are confusing.

I had another story but it kind of disappeared. It'll come back later. I have to join everyone else... so:

ChinkBoi101: the seniors are like freshmen
ChinkBoi101: only the specialize
xbaobeibabyx: wat do u mean?
ChinkBoi101: well
ChinkBoi101: the freshmen are like noobs
ChinkBoi101: we are new to the field and know a little of everything
ChinkBoi101: during our four years in high school
ChinkBoi101: we will specialize in something
ChinkBoi101: like being racist, computers, hacking, cars, groping sags, etc.
xbaobeibabyx: icic
ChinkBoi101: and by our senior year
ChinkBoi101: we will no longer be n00bs at this
ChinkBoi101: just compare seniors to freshmen you kno

nik3lbak: being racist=david (and me to a small extent), computers/hacking=david, cars/groping sags=charles
xbaobeibabyx: hehehe
nik3lbak: hehe, david gets 3 out of the 5
nik3lbak: so bill DOES love him

Uh, LAME. Anyone could be racist too! And I can't hack. So I only get one of the five.

ChinkBoi101: me being the freshman i am
ChinkBoi101: got some skills in all of the above

HolyCao86: i wonder how many sags hes groped
HolyCao86: and how many cars hes driven
xbaobeibabyx: hahah

xbaobeibabyx: uh..u do?
ChinkBoi101: ur kidding rite?
xbaobeibabyx: no
xbaobeibabyx: cept the racist one
ChinkBoi101: wtf?!?
ChinkBoi101: i learned basic hacking a while back
ChinkBoi101: plus i fix comps all the time
ChinkBoi101: or my old ones at least
ChinkBoi101: and all the freshmen sags think i grope them in a mild way
xbaobeibabyx: u wish u grope them
xbaobeibabyx: puh lease

Basic hacking my ass.

ChinkBoi101: i don't
ChinkBoi101: but they're all lyk
ChinkBoi101: "ur all feeling on us"
ChinkBoi101: or something lyk that
xbaobeibabyx: lolll
ChinkBoi101: "in a way, that would be concidered a mild form of groping"

ChinkBoi101: what david does to lilly the freshmen sags would concider to be rape
ChinkBoi101: its true though
ChinkBoi101: if i went up to one of them
ChinkBoi101: and just held them by the cheek for half a minute
ChinkBoi101: they would start yelling rape
xbaobeibabyx: lolll
ChinkBoi101: if i went up to YOU
ChinkBoi101: and grabbed your cheeck and held on for 30 seconds
ChinkBoi101: would you yell rape?
xbaobeibabyx: uh, if it were u, i would, anyone else, no
ChinkBoi101: thanks

Umm, why do I not like the last part at all? Cheek pinching are rape are a little different...

11:28PM

Saturday, March 12, 2005 (5 comments)

Life is like a box of Schrödinger cats: you never know what's going to happen next. But it's probably going to be bad.

I learned two things from the Tech trip:

  1. Boxers are only marginally more absorbent than denim pants; however, because of the much larger surface area of the pants, they hold more water overall. But the best way to dry yourself off is to bring a towel into the shower instead of forgetting it down the hall.
  2. Girls at Tech are like parking spaces... they're either taken or handicapped.

The latter was told to me. It's much funnier spoken than written.

I also learned something from defensive driving, believe it or not:

Say it's been raining heavily. You're driving along a small road, and you notice that the area ahead of you is completely flooded to an unknown depth. Who knows? Maybe it's just an inch of muddy water. Or maybe the ground sunk six feet under it. So what should you do?

I haven't actually looked this up, but I'm taking the instructor's word for it. He says that according to the Georgia driver's handbook thingy, the correct course of action is...

*drum roll*

Pull over to the side and wait for another driver to drive through it. If he disappears, do not enter.

Of course, I prefer the more scientific method. Drop a rock, and integrate its gravity - fluid resistance function. Just time its descent, and you'll have the depth! Easy as super duper integrals and fluid dynamics.

4:17PM

Thursday, March 10, 2005 (3 comments)

I am so smart. I passed the defensive driving final exam. With such questions that test in-depth knowledge about stopping at red lights, passing this test truly demonstrates how I am nothing but pure genius.

I've gotten over how bad my poem for Fleenor is, and it's so stupid, dumb, and poorly written that it's funny. So here's for your enjoyment:

Browser Wars
by me

Mosaic was the name of "the big thing,"
A dozen years ago, when DOS was king.
Then one day, Netscape took the world by storm,
In the Windows era that had just been born.
But mighty Redmond wanted sheets of green,
And with Explorer, forced its presence seen.
So Navigator saw a noose, was strung;
The world of freedom, Microsoft had stung.
But Microsoft became a lazy hound;
Explorer turned into a breeding ground.
Unknown amounts of viruses and "things,"
Invaded Mom's and Dad's prestine machines.
Melissa, Klez, I love you, then Sobigs,
Attacked Explorer and its Windows rigs.
Explorer of the vast and deep blue C,
A blue of famous tone: BS of D.
The users of the world began to see,
How awful that monopoly could be.
Our move, as slow and sure as ticking clocks,
Has brought us up to freedom: Firefox.

If you actually read that, I apologize for the suffering. To prevent you from killing yourself after coming to the realization that such bad poetry (aka my poem) exists on the planet, read this...

David Zhang
by Drew Lichtenstein

His body is lifeless in the warm bed
Is it already time to leave this place?
A surging headache meets his rising head
All he can think of is her pretty face.
Why is it every class is so boring?
All he hears about is science and math
It takes an effort to not start snoring
Is there ever an end to this long, slow path?
Who will ask him about his one desire?
He is more than a machine - he has a heart
Will these maddening thoughts ever retire?
For they stab at his soul like a sharp dart.
All he wants to do is hold and embrace
His one love: the girl with the pretty face.

Of course, what good is the poem without its analysis? (This is quoted, errors and all.)

It is important for this author that the intended audience (Mr. Fleenor) can understand the approach that I had when writing this poem. Without the title, the poem simply shows a simplistic idea: a boy's entire day is spent struggling to try to stay awake and to not think about a girl. However, by using the name of a student in your class, it clearly takes on a different meaning.

Most of us actually know close to nothing about David. For instance, I give him a ride to school every day, but all my attempts at small talk are completely re-buffed either by a courteous laugh or a change in subject. His friends notice the same behavior. He goes through the day half-awake (apparently his sleeping schedule is more attuned with Australia than that of the Eastern Standard Time). However, has anyone ever truly tried to stop and ask him something serious? I know that I am one of countless people who have been guilty of asking him for help on a math problem or a chemistry equation. No wonder David keeps to himself all the time: people are simply using him to better themselves. It is the classic reason for why geniuses end up becoming addicted to drugs or become complete reculosues: the isolation they feel from other people. While I am not suggesting that David is going to grow up to become a coke-head or a crazy old man who only lives with cats, I do feel like he does feel isolated from people. I attempted to capture his sense of loneliness by using such phrases as "body is lifeless" and "long, slow path."

The most important idea of the poem is the repetition of the concept of "girl with the pretty face." I believe this is what allows the poem to extend beyond simply applying to David Zhang to becoming applicable for many more people. Despite the best attempts of man, we can not over come our basic natural urges. David maybe a master of numbers, but this does not naturally lead to a comfortablness around the opposite gender. This is why I used an English sonnet. Each question that is presented in the previous stanzas asks a question of why he feels so lonely and separated from other people. He wants to escape from the desparation he feels, be it simply lying in his bed all day or by somehow simply removing his desires all together. However, the couplet makes it clear (as hinted to in the last line of the first stanza) that this is impossible. Not only must he live with the un-ending depression that is his isolation, but his natural urges cause him to want to reach out and be with "the girl with a pretty face."

This poem was not written as a joke and it was not written to simply mock David. David is a close friend of mine (and, yes, I did ask him before I turned this in). However, by using his life as a parallel for the loneliness and desperation to be with a pretty girl that so many of us feel, I believe that I've made my artistic expression much stronger.

The part about "was not written to simply mock David" was definitely the best part.

10:36PM

Wednesday, March 9, 2005 (4 comments)

Wow. Could more things go wrong in one's life in a month and a half? I can't even count how many things totally suck for me right now.

On a totally unrelated note, I went to defensive driving today.

Holy shit, that sucked.

I was stuck in a room with a bunch of potheads for three hours. Fun! Rule #1 on the contract says that I must be sober and not under the influence of controlled substances during all sessions.

This completely worthless Korean girl was a veteran of the class. She'd taken it so many times she knew what the instructor was going to say next, and even had her old notes. She had a notebook just for that class, apparently. That's more notes than I've taken all year at Walton...

About an hour and a half into the class, I started drifting off. I tried to appear awake, but that failed since 8 PM is the peak of my sleepiness in my 24-hour cycle. My face fell flat (that means straight down, nose-first) onto the desk. I was awakened by the guy two seats over after he tapped my arm a lot. The instructor stopped class just to yell at me. He must have been there for a while before I woke up, because he was in the middle of saying something as I regained consciousness.

At least I'm learning things. Did you know that you're not allowed to turn right on red when the sign says NO RIGHT TURN ON RED.

At the end, the instructor played some video that was really useless because it talked about anti-lock brakes and air bags. Forget these high-tech devices. Guess whose low-tech seat belts won't even work?

They also showed the rear-view mirror a lot in that video. I was very jealous.

11:45PM

Monday, March 7, 2005 (9 comments)

The most amusing part of my day was when James threw pennies at Jason's car while stopped at a red light, and then said to not worry about Jason throwing money back because he's Jewish.

But the part of my day that gave me the most personal satisfaction was when I was walking about ten feet in front of Holbrook in an empty hallway and I beefed a really, really big one. I hope he liked that.

The most depressing part of my day was during seventh period, when I was making up my test for Greenberg. Here's a quote from her:

"I didn't do anything with the tests [from Friday] except cry."

When I finished with my test, I went to find her in Whitlock's room. Ms. Greenberg asked me about emag, and said that someone in the biology class was interested. They were all freshmen or sophomores, so I asked who wanted to take emag. As I was saying that, I noticed Bill in the middle of the room. And sure enough, Ms. Greenberg pointed to him. And I laughed.

She asked me what the laugh was for, and I said, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

I mean... do I really want Dutter to experience this kind of torture? She is an old lady, after all, and Bill is not going to be in a tiny emag class with her for as long as I can help it.

Then I asked Ms. Greenberg about a couple of test questions that I was utterly confused about, and she replied that she went over them all while I was asleep. I couldn't tell if she really meant it, or if she was just telling me to wake up.

Now, I will talk about the trip. Jason, James, Bobby, Patrick, and I went to Boston for the tournament at MIT.

We left Thursday evening. I don't really know what happened that night, because I fell asleep.

Friday morning, we went to Harvard. We were going to sit in on a politics class, but no one showed up. Will (Rooke) explained that this happens a lot on Fridays. No students show up, and the professor just leaves.

So then we went to Will's class on public health, and that put a few of us to sleep. I would like to note that I lasted 22 minutes (out of 60) before falling asleep. We talked to Jeong briefly afterwards, and she laughed at us for falling asleep.

Next, we ran into Julie Ann. I will skip the part (aka the entire trip) when everyone made fun of Julie Ann and me. Jason should do himself a favor and keep quiet, since Julie Ann >> Mike Song in just about every way.

We went to her class on jazz history, and since I have absolutely zero interest in this, I fell asleep. When I woke up, it was over.

I forgot what happened next because I was still mostly asleep.

After the part I forgot, Bobby and I went with Will to his room. That was a nice place. It was so comfortable that I fell asleep again.

We went to Bartley's to eat burgers for dinner, and that was delicious. Best burgers ever.

I fell asleep sometime after this point.

When I woke up, we were getting ready to go to MIT for the tournament. MIT is where things get interesting...

First of all, the buildings we competed in sucked hardcore. The walls, floor, ceiling, etc. were all gray or tan. Everything was monochrome. There was absolutely nothing interesting in the buildings. I mean, I'm not an art fan, but this place really sucked.

There were empty boxes of stuff everywhere, and Pat said there were some cryo fluids or something leaking out of a couple of them. Piping was exposed everywhere. Walls had holes, floors had cracks, the bathrooms sucked, and the water fountain didn't have a metal sheet covering its innards. And I like parallel structure.

It reminded me strongly of a mental asylum or similar institution.

It gets more interesting when I got my hands on the MIT paper. I noticed two of the stories on the front page. The first, and biggest, story was about the MIT computer system being hacked. Someone gained unauthorized access and emailed the administrators a list of six-hundred-odd username/password combinations.

The second story I saw? A student named Mao killed himself.

Now I just really want to go to MIT. I guess they implement survival of the fittest to the extreme.

Between rounds, we had some nice snowball fights, though. It took my mind off of wanting to hang myself from the pipes in the ceiling. I wish we could have that much snow here...

The tournament itself was pretty good, and it actually finished before the scheduled time. The last couple of rounds were a blur, though. You can guess what I was doing. (zzzzzz......)

We went to some Italian place for dinner, and then we went to see the Blue Man Group. They were really good, as evidenced by the amount of time I was asleep (something between one and five seconds).

Then I slept and things happened and I slept more and more things happened until I found myself stuck without a key, outside my house, and desperately needing a bathroom.

7:31PM

Thursday, March 3, 2005 (4 comments)

WOOOOHOOOOOOO!! This is a happy me:

=D

All-expenses paid trip to Duke! Anyone else get this too?

In other news, my math average dropped some more. I think I have an 88 now. Greeeaaat...

And I need more ideas for what to bring to China. So far, the list is this:

  1. Loads of condoms.
  2. Some anal lube.

But this seems rather plain and boring, don't you think?

I really need to go pack. I have to leave for Boston, like, really soon.

3:37PM

Wednesday, March 2, 2005 (6 comments)

Note: When I first posted this, it was coded such that only Gene and Tiffany could see the next line, and Bill along with them could see the paragraph after it. It was a prank on Bill and appeared as a normal part of this post. Now it is available for all to see:

Only Gene, Fox, and Bill can see the paragraph below (and Bill doesn't see this one):

Ugh. Why are girls so dumb?? What is this on Fox's Xanga?! What is this crap about "knight in shining armor??" Bill, a knight in shining armor? Haha, that's funny. Except it's not. His "wit" and "intelligence," too. What wit and intelligence? The wit that makes him say "huh?" all the time, or the intelligence that tells him Michael Jackson isn't gay? Why does she have to fall for this stupid idiot who doesn't even know how to rhyme words? Life just isn't fair, is it? Is he really that much better than me? Worse yet, she thinks I'm gay with Bill? I'M NOT GAY, damnit! UGH! That girl is such a bitch sometimes.

I looked down at my legs on Saturday night, and I saw these two long cuts going across my left leg. The first thing I thought was, "Huh? But Eva's not back from Spain yet..."

As it turns out, I had accidentally walked into a rosebush earlier in the day, but didn't really pay attention.

While I'm on this subject... Fox poked me today while I was talking to Tricia, causing me to squeak like Eva (whoa, lots of sags in one sentence). That may have been the most retarded noise I've ever made in my life, with the exception of my APES utterances.

I got "Very weak analysis" on my poem and he gave me a 4/10 on that part. He said I wrote too much background information. Well, yeah... how am I supposed to come up with a full page of relevant information about my poem? I had to use some filler material in there.

But for some reason, he thought it was "creative" that I wrote about browsers. Honestly, I think it's the dumbest idea ever, especially for a poem.

I think my trip to China has finalized itself for June 15 - August 3. So what should I bring, besides a lot of condoms?

8:36PM

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