Zhanga: July 2004

Entries have their own pages now. Click the date to see the entry by itself with its comments.

Saturday, July 31, 2004 (6 comments)

One more spectacular way to say hi:

ManOfAwesome: i have to pee
ManOfAwesome: brb

7:26PM

Harold and Kumar was by far the most awesome movie I have ever had the pleasure of seeing. There is nothing I can do to describe its awesomeness. Why aren't Ronjon and I as cool as Harold and Kumar? We need to go smoke some pot and go to Whitecastle too.

Yeah, right.

I am going to go watch that again, though. It was utterly fantastic.

So Dave tried to get a refill for a large popcorn before the movie... but the concessions guy owned him because the bag was folded up. Gay. (Yes, that was my bag from almost a full year ago.)

If you want to know what I've been doing recently, I've been updating the GCEH page and cleaning up its ugly coding. And by ugly, I mean fugly (almost as ugly as this überbitch I know). I am only cleaning, by the way, so there is no need to confirm for me that it's ugly.

Frisbee tonight soon. Better be there!

Science bowl questions, people. Don't forget to write them.

7:07PM

Friday, July 30, 2004 (1 comment)

Charles FINALLY found himself one of those Internet cafes. Took him long enough. I thought he died or something.

Oh, other things didn't go right yesterday. I saw Eva... there's minus a hundred points. Then my day lost another point each time she squirted my crotch with a water gun at Kumon. So the little kids and boss probably thought I pissed my pants. I don't think she can discriminate based upon perceived bladder control ability, though.

I found this [link removed; no longer works] funny. You'll find it funny if you're me. Unfortunately, I don't think you'll find it as funny as I did. I think the reason I find it so funny is that I've had half of these happen to me. It's pretty annoying.

Dangit. Just now a whore called me and I thought it was Ms. McNeill (sp?) but nope, it was some whore, probably of the telemarketing variety. I wasted 10 seconds saying "No, this is David." and then listening to her schpiel. I think from now until the day my mom gets back, anyone who calls looking for my parents will be hung up on. Anyone who isn't useless knows they're gone.

So this morning when I got out of bed, I walked down the stairs and tripped my motion sensor. Oops. That kind of alarmed (ha.. ha...) me and caused my stress level to go up again as if I'm not already full. Oh well.

Aaaaaand crap, I'm late for volunteering.

1:18PM

Thursday, July 29, 2004 (2 comments)

Nothing is going right today. NOTHING.

I woke up at 12:15 when I wanted to get up before 12 so I could go to GCEH. The lady even called me because I was so late. So I didn't get to shower.

Then I made some food to eat because I was really hungry last night. I was unable to keep eating after about 1/2 of a normal sized meal.

On the way to volunteer, I noticed chunks of tofu on my shirt and pants because some fell on me while I was trying to get lunch together. Brilliant. So what do I get for going through all this trouble in order to comply with a request to volunteer outside of my normal hours? Anally (actually more like frontally) RAPED by a laser at 1014 feet. Yum.

Then I came home to find that some bozoface had opened the number pad to my garage door. I know it was closed, since I never use it. The cover was way open, at like 150 degrees.

Then I go unload my bowels and by the time I'm empty, what do I find? No toilet paper! Great.

I can't wait until I go to work. The sad part is, if I get lucky enough not to fall off the stairs on the way there, that may end up being the best part of my day.

Damn the world.

3:07PM

Monday, July 26, 2004 (4 comments)

I have returned. ACE was ok... but I was told that last year was better.

Retarded quotes will be posted in the afternoon when I wake up.

I liked that retarded night when the hall monitor guy walked into Ronjon's room.. and the first thing he said was "This room smells like turds." Ronjon was mostly to blame for that, though I was forced to counter a few times as well.

The qualification round for the finals was what Ronjon would call a chode up the ass. There were six rooms with eleven people moving into the finals. Three of the four Walton people (Ronjon, Yujing, and I, and not Paul) were stuck in the same room, which by the numbers appeared to be the strongest room. We were doing ok at the beginning. The first three tossups were split evenly among the three of us, and the same happened to the next three, but after that things fell apart. Yujing didn't make it, then Ronjon made it but got laughed at for "supermassive black hole" even though it was the correct answer and people are just retarded. Who knows. I got popcorn, so I am happy.

So during math minor (which, by the way, was soooo useful... I learned nothing except that Ronjon farts more than me most of the time), the teacher asks for someone to teach hexadecimal. This guy with a penguin shirt goes up there, proclaims himself as a computer whiz or something, then proceeds to own himself by saying the digit E is 15 (that's F).

For the first time ever, I saw my bulk mail pass 3000 messages. Deadly.

No class or whatever Tuesday night. I will be at frisbee at regular time.

3:57AM

Wednesday, July 21, 2004 (4 comments)

Yeah, the footsteps were almost certainly 心里作用, or however it's written (your hearing/thinking doesn't work too well when your brain has no blood in it because it all drained elsewhere), but the static was real. I know I heard the static.

In fact, next morning, I had 59 messages on my voice mail -- all of them of pure static. I don't know whether it's worse to have static coming out of where it shouldn't be coming out of, or to have 59 calls filled with static...

I tried to receive several calls Tuesday morning, but all I got was static. I think that the phone I used was fried, because other phones work fine. But my answering machine is connected to a working phone jack, and the phone connected to it works fine. So I don't know what's up with my stupid machine.

Hmmm, the parenthetical expression up there would be interesting out of context.

1:43AM

ACE begins today. Be back Sunday night, I think. Don't burn my house down while I am gone. Hopefully Ronjon will be able to bring that LCD so that my cardboard box will own. Hopefully the wireless ethernet card will own. I should have bought the 802.11g adaptor instead of 802.11b, since it's more compatible with different networks.

I need some food. I will own dumplings now... too lazy to do anything else.

1:08AM

Monday, July 19, 2004 (10 comments)

HOLY SHIT. So last night at 5 AM I was hungry and wanted some food. So I open the door to my bedroom and I hear static. Static coming out of... my house? It sounded like it was coming out of my kitchen area, and the first thing I thought of was my answering machine... but I had a phone in my room and it never rang, so there's no way it could have been the answering machine. The only other thing on that floor capable of making static noises is my TV, which was off.

I listened more closely and heard what I thought were footsteps. I closed my bedroom door as I collapsed on the ground. I pulled myself up to my bed and lay there for a while before either fainting or falling asleep. I woke up at 11:30 and heard the rhythmic vibrations that accompany the footsteps of my mom. At first I felt reassured since I've gotten used to it every time I wake up late, but then once I realized this isn't good, I felt my heart racing again.

So earlier yesterday, in the morning, Ronjon left thought the garage. When he closed the door behind (or in front of) him, he trapped my cat in the garage as well. When I opened the door to my garage to get out of the house at 7:20, that black cat was moving around and I practically fainted as I closed the door... again... except it's not really again since 7:20 PM is before 5 AM. So I let it out and it followed me around as usual. I tried to get it into my car for a ride but it refused. Guess its mother taught it well to not get into a car with strangers.

Ronjon found this cat's collar at my front door. This is rigged. I tried to put it back on, but it didn't want the thing. Lame. Now the cat runs around without a tag and is going to be owned by animal control or something.

Something else happened too... but being owned three times in 18 hours is not good for my memory.

12:48PM

Sunday, July 18, 2004 (5 comments)

Last night Ronjon and I rode in Gene's car at like 3 AM. We were singing Baby One More Time loudly and obnoxiously with the windows down. I'm sure my neighbors loved it.

You know your memory sucks if you have to use a port/IP range scanner for 20 minutes to find out what IP your router is. Five hours after I started IP scanning, I established an Internet connection from my bedroom upstairs. Ownage.... until my mom finds the wireless router in the ping pong room or the antenna on my cardboard box.

I'm going to do some useful work the next few days instead of wasting my time on the computer.

I missed the GHP reunion at Town Center because I don't know how to get there. The closest I came to knowing how to get there was something like "you take a right off an exit on some highway, and its right there after you turn." Really descriptive.

I need some wasabi. It's been too long since I've had my nostrils on fire. Who wants to own with me (and knows of a place to own at)?

7:18PM

Friday, July 16, 2004 (3 comments)

What a nightmare this must have been. I took out all the really useless things I said (haha, lol, ownage, etc):

ManOfAwesome: i had a dream of state sci bowl
ManOfAwesome: and it was us and some random junior not gene
ManOfAwesome: who completely owned chem
icydog1: aarti?
icydog1: dragos?
ManOfAwesome: faster and smarter than you me and dragos
icydog1: deadly
ManOfAwesome: some white boy with blonde hair
ManOfAwesome: who was small
icydog1: uhh
icydog1: where are we going to find one of these?
ManOfAwesome: FISHLER!!!

I just tried working on the computer that Wendy's dad gave me. 120MHz, 64MB RAM, 1.2GB hard drive. It turned on very quickly, so I assumed it would work well. Well... it took me 3 reboots to get my network card working, and even afterwards, I was not allowed to use file sharing for some reason. I was trying to back up the files. The button was dimmed and I had no idea why. So I tried FTP... but the Internet Explorer did not have upload capability and I got some unknown error message when I tried installing that component. Then I tried installing 4 different FTP clients, and the installation failed on all of them. Finally, now, I'm trying to zip everything into a a few file and then FTPing those up using this rigged FTP client that I finally got to install. The FTP client alone has crashed at least five times, and this computer has only been plugged in for an hour. Ahhh... good old Windows 95.

I'm going to XPify this machine when I get the files off. Let's see how well XP works on that thing.

---

2 hours of trying to install XP has not worked. It has done every gay thing that I never believed possible. I have a headache. I will go shopping at Microcenter now. Maybe they have some more free NICs so I can stock up.

Call my cell if you need me. I'll be back at 9:20.

7:57PM

I did not enjoy dodgeball. I left because I was so irritated. Then things just got worse.

Ronjon and Gene, I can't have anyone over tonight. But please call me and allow me to explain before you change your plans. Failure to do this will result in disappointment.

People, don't call my cell phone if I'm home. I can't answer it. Unless you know I'm out, try the home phone number first, then the cell. If I don't pick up either one, then here are the possibilities, in order:

  1. Asleep.
  2. Physical activity that involves taking my cell phone out of my pocket (frisbee, etc).
  3. Bathroom.
  4. Avoiding you because I hate you, bitch (hmmm, wonder who called me 40 or 50 times about two hours ago).
  5. No service on cell while I'm out of the house.
  6. SAT class.
  7. Cell's battery dies while I'm out.
  8. Death (aka Eva's prayers come true).

I think since my parents are gone, it'd be a perfect time to test out some steel wool grenades. Hmmm... all you would need is a battery, some steel wool, some starter liquid, and some explosive. Oh yeah, and the pin that you pull out, which could be made from a piece of cardboard. Devil's house, anyone?

I want to complain about Bush some more but it seems like everyone else is already doing it. Oh well.

10:09AM

Wednesday, July 14, 2004 (2 comments)

I am SO happy that I am here alone. I can do whatever I want, whenever I want. It's great. I don't have to worry about manners or etiquette or even being nice to my mom. I can just do whatever. I can walk around the house without a shirt or pants, and I can sleep completely naked if I so desire. I can go piss without having to close the door. I can shove my face as far into my bowl of rice as I feel like, and no one is there is stare at me with an odd eye. I can eat as much watermelon as I want, and my mom will not be here to worry about my stomach exploding. If I bite my tongue as I did during lunch, I can scream as loud as I want and no one will care.

Well, I guess the last one is kind of bad, because my house has turned into the perfect murder zone.

One word of warning, though. Don't sneak into my house, and don't sneak around outside. I occasionally arm myself when I investigate strange noises, and if I unexpectedly run into anyone in here, I will attack without warning or identification. So don't do it.

The Bitch song started playing, and not 10 seconds later, I got a text message from The Bitch aka Eva. Coincidence? Maybe she just stalks me and knows what I'm listening to at all times.

Oh you bitch, there goes 10 cents of mine! I had to start paying for these on the 12th because my trial expired.

Soooo...  frisbee... what happened there?

4:52AM

Tuesday, July 13, 2004 (0 comments)

Um, crap. I just remembered, there is no way I can be on time to frisbee. That stupid writing class! It ends at about 8:35. I will be there at 9:05 as usual... don't die before then and don't stop playing! Last time I tried to speed back, it took me that long... based on my estimates, if I drive safely, it would be about 9:10-9:15, so maybe if I go about 160 mph on GA 400 I will make it by 8:55.

Three of four days ago, I started recording the status of the Roswell/Johnson Ferry light each time I get there. I was up to a total of 10 before today. 10 of those were red, and 6 of the red ones were yellow lights that I could not get past. Today, I was turning left off of Providence, and I saw that the light was green, so I floored it and felt the power that my engine could not provide. It turned yellow about 20 feet in front of me, and as I went under it, I waved my fist in the air and yelled "YEAH! SUCK IT BITCH!" Seriously, I did.

Ronjon just left, and Gene left a while ago. I just woke up. I am feeling sooo dead.

11:40AM

Sunday, July 11, 2004 (4 comments)

Last night was an ok game of frisbee. Not bad, but we've had better. I can now add one more item to the "Why I No Longer Need to Live" list: the dive. It could have been better, though... if I had dived into a tree and snapped it, now that would have been good.

Then we went to QT, as usual. There was a friendly group that had just finished playing at the field way inside Fullers, and we talked to them for a while. We'll probably play with them on Tuesday, so be sure to show up at FPF at 8. Now the really good part went like something like this. It's not exactly what happened since so many people were talking at the same time, but you get the idea:

Dude: So when do you guys stop playing?
Me: When we get tired.
Dave: When weird people show up.
Dude: Something something neon lights under his car?
/me dies of laughter

None of these guys go to Walton (well, I think there might have been one, but he never talked). A bunch of them were in college already. But, they still know about the notorious Brian Shieh. That is amazing.

Then to make it even better... 30 minutes later, Neon Lights comes rolling in to the gas station. By this time the other group had left. Brian walked up to us, but I was turned around talking to Ai so I didn't pay any attention to him. I guess no one else did either, se Brian walked off without saying a word.

Ai was also talking about Kelly, and he showed up promptly. Speak of the devil and...... twice!

11:11PM

Saturday, July 10, 2004 (9 comments)

Will's bringing some ownage food for me today. Ownage.

Hk ChYnKbOi: cheese steak and OJ
Hk ChYnKbOi: can you smel it?
[...]
Hk ChYnKbOi: i'll let you smell it decomposed

Not ownage.

So one more reason why Xanga SUCKS. I tried to post on SkeetNews with Firefox, and since the Rich Text Editor thing doesn't work, I pushed Edit HTML, which is supposed to show a regular text box with HTML. Well, when I backspaced, characters several blocks away started disappearing. When I typed things, adjacent characters would change and the button I pushed wouldn't show up at all. Other problems existed too.

Is Xanga.com a Microsoft conspiracy? I mean, nothing works in Firefox! Even if my site sucks, at least it has cross-platform suckiness compatibility... sucks equally on different systems.

There is this awesome little kid who is probably going to sit in front of me every time I go to Kumon now. He is sooooooo funny, in a rather dumb way. Here's part of a typical conversation I might have with him, with Eva sitting 2 seats away:

Me: Eva is sooooooo annoying. I hate her soooooo much.
Jason: Why?
Me: Because she exists on the same planet as me.
Jason: Oh. Why do you drive her here then?
Me: She threatened to eat me if I don't. She's a monster, you know.
Jason: Why don't you just go and punch her skull into powder?

Funny little kids own.

1:32PM

Thursday, July 8, 2004 (5 comments)

I've learned to cook three things, and not planning on learning more today. This will not last me through a month. I am DEAD.

I realized yesterday that I have a wireless optical mouse, and that I should be using it in my bedroom. So I put it there, and I get a lot of Blue Screens of Death now. Oh well... it's worth the freedom of motion, kind of. Does anyone want to donate a wireless keyboard to me? My wired keyboard is annoying and useless because the wire is so short... doesn't reach my bed too well.

My blower broke. That thing you blow leaves with... mine totally blows. It sounded like it was going to blow up when I turned it on. I'm going to have to spend a rich American amount of money to get a new one. Grrrrr.

So I had this dream last night that I was with Ronjon and Gene in a parking lot, the Sprayberry one I think, and then overhead there is a B2 spinning in crazy motions... eventually it crashes down, smears someone on the pavement, and releases a cloud of toxic fumes that leaves a white layer of crap on my windshield and practically suffocates Ronjon and me (Gene has disappeared into my back seat by now). At this point, one of two things happened: the first possibility is that my dream turned into something totally different that I forgot, and the second possibility is that I woke up to pee.

I wonder how the camping trip is going.

2:55PM

Ummm Tyson... where/when did I say that I wasn't going to invite girls/people for parties? Get real =)

Friday is going to be awesome. AWESOME.

By the way, just to let everyone know... my house is not open invitation at any time during my mom's absence. You are not allowed to just show up. No one is coming over without giving me advance notice, and advance notice does not include "hey I'm on the way, see you in five minutes." I refuse to allow Charles's mom see me with people here. If she does come and I can't make myself the only person in the house, I'll at least make myself the only living person in the house.

So at dinner with these folks that were over, my mom mentions that she heard there's a lot of gay people at Stanford. (She has never explicitly said "gay," ever.) I said that there's undoubtedly more at GT. I also wanted to say something like "maybe there's too many Chinese moms who don't let their sons have girlfriends" but I was afraid I'd stumble on the Chinese and sound stupid so I didn't say it. Also, it makes me sound rather gay, and I think it's better for the guests to not think that.

I need my dumb paycheck... I am getting hungry for the smell of those bills!

2:11AM

Wednesday, July 7, 2004 (5 comments)

Yesterday, I was driving out of this guy's house and was backing out of the driveway. I had no idea that the driveway is stupendously retarded. At the end where it hits the road, near the sides where it connects with the sidewalk, there is a sharp drop like it's a curb instead of the end of a driveway. So my car dropped, and the front smashed into this curb. Owned. Later when I turned the ignition halfway to listen to a CD, the engine light, parking brake light, oil light, and battery light (and seat belt light... obviously) all turned on and wouldn't go away. That scared the daylights out of me and I was about to faint, but it went away when I turned the ignition all the way a little later. Still, those lights never come on when I turn on the electricity... I think I messed something up.

Hmmm, I was going to write an essay bashing something/someone I hate, but I forgot the identity of the despised object. Although I don't remember clearly what/whom I was going to write about, I did just now come up with a list of probable candidates for this despised object:

  1. Whores
  2. Chompies
  3. ÜberChristians
  4. Weggy
  5. Dubya
  6. Devil
  7. Eva

Probably the last one.

She wrote "I SUCK DICK" on the back of my cellphone in pink pen, and my mom was like... what is this?

I'm not being allowed to go anywhere these two nights, but once my mom's gone, it's party time! I'm free Friday-Sunday every week, and the week after next, I have Tuesday and Wednesday completely empty. I have to do something about this retarded Kumon crap.

Ok guests just showed up, so I'm going.

This lady heard that I'm alone in my house for three weeks... she told me to get a girlfriend and have parties here. My mom laughed.

8:19PM

Tuesday, July 6, 2004 (4 comments)

I'm going to make a calendar now and record the date and length of each "don't have a girlfriend" speech my mom makes, starting on the day she gets back. It seems like she does this almost every day now. I almost laughed again today.

Ummmm.... so what else happened. My rich white neighbor gave me $$$ for removing spyware. I did the usual Chinese move and didn't take the money until the third round of "No, no, if you didn't come we'd have had to hire a guy who would have cost us a lot more."

I learned to make tomato and egg whatever-you-call-it. Seems like I can make it edible but probably not taste good. Then by the time I get the hang of it, my mom will be back.

So, who feels like coming over Friday night? I think Will's going to camp in my house for a few weeks.

1:27AM

Monday, July 5, 2004 (5 comments)

Some rumors are annoying, but some are just sooooo fun.

So anyways, I went to Lenox to see those fireworks. They were absolutely captivating, and totally amazing. I just love to see them explode, feel the bang a second or two later, and then a second boom as the sound echoes off the skyscrapers behind me.

In a way, today was like the way the health book described cocaine. You get into this high, reach some peak where it's the best feeling in the world, and then you crash and burn. Well, I guess that could describe a lot of things, but today especially.

And by today, I meant the Fourth of July, which was yesterday.

Sadly, I realized that the last time I've been to a mall was about eighteen months ago, and coincidentally, it was Lenox. This is very sad.

The italicized is reminds me of the Bible I have, which italicized random words like that for some reason. I still don't understand why it's like that.

My mom leaves in about 103 hours, and I still can't cook diddly squat. Crap. I am DEAD.

My life has gotten to be very boring. I am out of ways to entertain you. I am sorry.

1:27AM

Saturday, July 3, 2004 (7 comments)

I got out of bed at 3:30 and my mom sat down at the table and started munching on food while I ate lunch. I got the girlfriend speech again. It's kind of annoying... but whatever, at least this time she didn't say anything about me being gay.

Maybe she spoke too soon.

When Eva left my house, she put the Morning Glory stuff (a little notepad, and a pencil-holder can with a pen, pencil, and eraser inside) on my mom's desk in the way of her keyboard. My mom found it really late at night. This morning, she was holding it and demanded an explanation:

妈: 喂，这是谁买的？
我: 我买的。
妈: 准备送给谁？
我: 送给自己。
妈: 我还以为你要送给妹妹。
我: 你要我把这个送给妹妹？
妈: 什么东西啊？
我: 装笔的。
妈: 多少钱？
我: 五块。
妈: 啊？！？！？！五块！？
我: 哎呀，里面还有东西嘛。
妈: 你毛病了！

Mom: Who bought this?
Me: I bought it.
Mom: Who are you going to give it to [as a present]?
Me: I'm giving it to myself.
Mom: I had thought that you were going to give it to your sister.
Me: You want me to give this to my sister?
Mom: What is it?
Me: Holds pens/pencils.
Mom: How much did it cost?
Me: Five dollars.
Mom: What?!?!?! Five dollars!?
Me: Ai ya, there's stuff inside.
Mom: You have problems.

That last line is a problem to translate. It's just not as funny in English, kind of like the Japanese Demon thing. Also, when she looked inside and saw the really gay-looking pencil, pen, and eraser, she gave me this look that said "You are so much gayer than I ever thought before. Are you my son?"

Yeah Wendy, I know you gave me notice... but it was like 3 minutes, and I'm far too lazy to go put something on even if you gave me 20 minutes' notice (not that it's your fault). And, I think you are mistaken when you say there's nothing scarier than Yuk in boxers - what about Yuk out of boxers? =)

Frisbee at 8 PM every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday for the rest of the summer. Possible locations are preferred in this order:

  1. Field past Fullers/FPF
  2. Football field all the way inside Fullers
  3. East Cobb Park
  4. Terrell Mill Park

Go to the first one, and if it's taken, go to the next one... etc.

5:11PM

Just letting people know I'm still alive =) I've gotten lazy recently.

The past few days have been fun. Eva has gotten her chance to annoy me just about every day. What would I do without her...

Let's see. On Thursday, Wendy and Natalie showed up at my house while I was eating watermelon with nothing but boxers on.

Later that day, I fell asleep repeatedly at Kumon. Lame.

I went to frisbee from there. We played 3v3 and my team got raped repeatedly. Owning was far more effective when Dave and I played against the other four.

Then on Friday, I went with people to Chinatown. The dim sum was good, except just not nearly enough. They didn't have much variety, either.

Oh, before eating, we were at Morning Glory. The even sadder part is, I was the only one to buy anything.

6:35AM

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