Zhanga: June 2004

Entries have their own pages now. Click the date to see the entry by itself with its comments.

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Tuesday, June 29, 2004 (8 comments)

Hey, did anyone else's AIM and ICQ and some other stuff just completely (or maybe partially) die last night? Will's Internet got owned last night, and so did mine. I think it was a Bellsouth thing. And how do you know when your ISP is reliable? When they spell properly: "The form is often redirected to another sight for processing." This was found on a Bellsouth support page. Anyone who works for an Internet company and uses web sights is a total moron and should be fired immediately.

In May, I went to the dollar theater to ask for a job and they took my name and number. That was when there was barely any business and very few employees there. A few days ago, when I went with Eva to see Hidalgo, there was this retarded (or whatever the politically correct term is... learningly disabled or something) guy working the door. He couldn't even keep his tongue from falling out of his mouth, yet he was hired when I didn't even get a phone call. Bah. Capitalist pigs. They're probably paying him below minimum wage because I doubt he knows the difference.

Today, the GCEH lady gave me a PowerPoint presentation as the orientation to the organization. It lasted almost an hour and a half, and by minute ten I was having trouble keeping my eyes open because I was so tired from the morning. I felt bad, but there was really nothing I could do about it. Unfortunately, she noticed that I was falling asleep. Oh well.

Tomorrow's the last day of summer school. This will be awesome. The intense running I'll have to do tomorrow is going to suck, though. I simply cannot run for that long. Gay.

Yes, Gene, the fact that the picture is of Tiffany's Xanga does have some significance. The reason is that it works in IE but not Firefox (see the links flying above the page?). Otherwise, that menu button would be useless, because if I open a page in Firefox and it works, why would I ever open it again in IE?

I'm too tired to write more.

10:11PM

I mentioned a while ago that I'd like a button in Firefox that I can push so I can see pages in Internet Explorer. Do Firefox programmers OWN or what?? This feature was released June 17, five days after I decided that it'd be nice to have. Amazing.

At writing class, there's this girl who sits next to me and looks a lot like my mom. For lack of a better name, and also since I forgot her name, I'm going to call her Mom. Her resemblance to my mom is so uncanny that if she and my mom were sitting on opposite sides of me, and I looked straight forward so that I could see them both out of the corners of my eye, then I wouldn't be able to tell them apart. At least, I don't think I can.

So the teacher asks me "what do you think of this essay?" I thought I had made enough biting comments for the day, so I said "I think it's pretty good." Then Mom just bursts out laughing and I put on my clueless look.

I drove like mad to frisbee. I drove about 15% faster than ever before, but my engine made funny noises so I slowed down. Oh, and I think my battery went crazy because my speakers began crackling. Somehow I still managed to take more than 30 minutes to get to frisbee, though. On the way there, at a red light, I decidee that I was going to change into different pants because I don't like to wear shorts and get owned by bugs. So I took off my shorts, but the light turned green way faster that I had expected. So I drove with no pants on, and then at the next light I was stopped behind this guy who was sitting on the back of his vehicle staring straight at me with his shirt off. It took until the next light to get my pants on.

Apparently we were getting owned by some older people when I got there, but I didn't get to see us getting owned. Maybe they got tired or something. Later, CiCi said she saw steam coming out of me. I didn't notice this until later, when I saw steam profusely rising out of my shoulder area. Dave asked the best question ever... "Did you overclock your brain?"

Then later, Gene throws this long one that I run for and catch, but I wasn't looking at the ground in front of me. I went full speed into a puddle of mud, and I couldn't stop, so I went all the way into the moat. Owned. It's also the one day I wore my regular shoes instead of the dirty ones. Great... they're white too.

Then at QT I sprayed a lot of bugs. They got owned hard.

And nope, there's no replacement for "owned" no matter how hard you look, and it's one of the most versatile words in existence (or not in existence, depending on how you look at it).

12:23AM

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Monday, June 28, 2004 (2 comments)

Nothing funny happened today, I guess. Well, I guess I'll complain about summer school.

So just after the last whistle, the one that tells us to get off the track, I hear this sheet of rain racing toward us. Some other people saw the sheet coming, but by the time I turned around, I was already in the process of being soaked. So this means that not only did we get soaked, but we also missed no running time at all. Lame.

Afterwards, my mom got mad at me because I went to see Hidalgo instead of staying home. Then later, she calls me all worried because she noticed that someone's been all over the house. I have no idea how she noticed this, because it was just Eva walking around doing nothing. Well, by doing nothing, I mean shooting suction cup darts at my face, but that shouldn't be any cause for my mom to be concerned.

Uhh, yeah I think today may have been one of the most boring days yet this summer.

Ok... what's with these weird people who IM me like they're my friends when I've met them once and don't even know their first names? I mean, you can't expect to have a decent conversation with me about your life if I don't know who you are. Creeps.

Here's a feat. There are a few more occurrences of "bitch" than of "lolz" in Eva's log, and three times as many as of "btw" in Charles's log. That is impressive.

I am still in a state of shocked admiration of that picture below. "Shocked admiration" sounds like an answer choice to one of those SAT reading passage questions that go "Which of the following best describes the author's attitude..."

9:21PM

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Sunday, June 27, 2004 (4 comments)

Coke in, liquified crap/Pepsi out.

That is all.

11:26PM

YES! The Evanescence video Everybody's Fool makes fun of chompies! It's also sarcastic in the same way that I am when I'm angry (but I guess this hasn't been happening much recently). I like that video a lot.

The flipbook animation thing I drew in the vocab book that Jackson saw... well, I don't think I explained it thoroughly enough. Basically, the animation begins with someone throwing a paper airplane. It may have been me, but I don't remember. Then the airplane flies across about half the width of the animation, then stick-figure paratroopers pop out and deploy their chutes. They sail down, and the plane crashes far off somewhere. Meanwhile, the paratroopers take out their guns and bullets pop out at high velocities and eventually reach the clearly labeled Teacher's neck. Teacher's head is severed by the bullets and comes off. This explains why Ms. Jackson was so happy with the flipbook. Maybe Tucker or Crew thought it was funny and that's why I didn't get in trouble.

Maybe when I go there to reclaim my book, they'll say "Oh! I still owe you an ISS! Here, sign this, and you can serve your punishment at Walton." Yes, that would be extremely ownage.

My phone started ringing with the text message ring in the afternoon and I picked it up (just picked it up, didn't push anything). I noticed that the trinket thing was also flashing, which never happened before. Then I tried reading my text message and noticed that there were no new messages.

Thirty minutes later, I call my cell phone to see if maybe the trinket started working, and my phone starts ringing. The trinket doesn't work, of course. I hang up and notice that a text message has been received. Its timestamp was from over three hours ago. I say the trinket is eating things that aren't food.

So after frisbee, I tried the trinket with CiCi's phone and it worked perfectly. I want to kill Sprint. What kind of gay service doesn't let you use Korean fobbish accessories!? This is absolutely ridiculous!

There are some things in life that just shouldn't exist. Text-message-hungry trinkets are one of them, and Sprint is another. Oh, some people should be banned from life as well. Yaa!

Also after frisbee, Dave and CiCi and I were sitting on my car at QT. There were these two bugs getting it on right in front of us. We watching intently for about a minute, then I pimped out both of them and by that I mean I totally raped them with my shoe. They're stuck together now.

Ahh the fatigue... two hours of alternating walking, jogging, and sprinting. The last thirty minutes were especially killer, as playing 2v3 and being on the 2 team can really make you tired quickly. I'm too tired to even type properly.

12:59AM

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Saturday, June 26, 2004 (5 comments)

At summer school today (well, yesterday), the coaches asked the three classes what they wanted to do. Maybe 1/3 of the people raised their hands for basketball. Then one of the coaches asked about frisbee, and I look around, and guess who's the only one with his hand up? Ridiculous. Nope, I did not see even one other hand raised.

The Walton sign and the have a vagina or something was mentioned during summer school. Ai looked at me and smiled. Old news! The 1337 have known about this for ages =)

After lunch, I went with Ai to Eva's place. Eva's haircut isn't as bad as she makes it sound. It looks pretty good. (Undoubtedly, she always looks better with a bag over her head, but I digress.) I took a picture of her haircut exactly because she said not to. Yup, I have the wounds to prove it. But those don't matter. The important part is that I still have the camera and that it's still intact.

OH YES! I have become more Korean. Eva gave me a cell phone trinket... except it won't light up when a call comes in. It's dumb like that. But whatever, it still makes my cell phone look stupid whether or not it works, so it's all good.

Why is Gene the most ownage person ever? He totally owns. Eva was messing with my computer and along comes Gene to totally own her:

nik3lbak: how was ice cream?
icydog1: dunno
nik3lbak: ?
icydog1: clrhlrthdr
nik3lbak: ?
icydog1: ??
nik3lbak: ???
icydog1: ??
icydog1: ???????????????
nik3lbak: coming to white chicks tonizzle?
icydog1: ln,o
icydog1: no
nik3lbak: k
icydog1: fuck oyff
nik3lbak: eva?
nik3lbak: cant use dvorak?
nik3lbak: poor baby

OWNED!

Dvorak is my keyboard layout, which she had fun with. In fact, she couldn't even type a decent response to this because she went so slowly. So not only did he know it was Eva, but also that she was getting owned by my keyboard. That's almost as impressive as a Dutter stunt (like the teleportation one).

Charles's Xanga reminded me of Ms. Jackson and how much I hated her. That stupid retarded flipbook was supposed to get me suspended because it animated violence. Seriously, are little paratroopers really going to jump out of a paper airplane and shoot off some teacher's head? I don't think so... apparently the administration thought this to be ludicrous so I never heard from them about it. I remember how Gene stole me a new one so I didn't have to pay $5. When school starts next semester, I'm going to Dickerson and asking for my damn book back. Geez I've always said that but haven't done it yet. Does anyone want to come with me just for old times' sake?

I love people who just make up things out of thick air (it feels too humid to be "thin"). I mean, it just makes my day when I hear things about myself that are so distorted that I don't even know how they could possibly have arisen from any truthful events. Actually, it's funnier when I can tell where they came from. It makes me laugh.

After reading the first half of the style book, I keep getting this urge to correct myself and others on who and whom. But I restrain myself, lest I become Jess.

Owwww I just dragged my arm over my pant leg and that hurt because some silly person created wounds on my arm. I think it's time to dump bleach on my arm so that maybe it will more or less disinfect me and prevent me from turning into some mutant Eva-like creature.

My foot tends to play with this cable a lot. It's the power cable to my cardboard box, which usually isn't in this room. I get nervous whenever I see my foot on it, because 120 volts can't possibly be healthy for me or my foot. I thought about it, and I concluded that if the my toes touch the wire and my heel is on the ground, I'm ok because only my foot will be fried. However, if my heel is not grounded, then the current will go up my leg, through my crotch, and down the other leg into the other foot and into the ground. This will be an unpleasant situation.

3:25AM

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Friday, June 25, 2004 (10 comments)

So the stupid vomit-inducing Kumon story that I forgot to tell. I was filling out this completion certificate (for a kid) for the first time and the lady was telling me what to do. So she's like "put his name here... put the level here... put the date here... Today is June twenty-fourth. Can you spell June?" Especially with the retarded accent that she speaks with, seriously, I don't think she should be telling me how to spell June.

Irony is awesome. Two nights ago, I forgot to log off, as many noticed angrily. This was the night I slept at 8 PM, five and a half hours before this happened:

[01:24:25] HolyCao86: cant sleep like me?

The night before that was dumb like this too. On Trillian, since there's no rate limit counter, so if I go over then I'm simply booted off AIM, which hasn't happened for at least six months. I decided that I'd talk to Charles about the time the field past Fullers (this will be FPF from now on) was flooded 2 or 3 feet deep. Yes, the entire field was just blanketed with a layer for two days or so. Well anyways, I got kicked for flooding while talking about flooding.

Ok so that was a lot less interesting than it was supposed to be.

By the way (Charles, I hate you absolutely. I'm starting to do this now too!), if you didn't go to middle school with me, anything below this point really is going to be very boring.

I thought about sixth grade today, and Dickerson in general. It brings back good and bad memories. (This is sounding like one of my compare and contrast essay theses. Pretty ugly.) Anyways, Ms. Gordon the English teacher who hated me, Ms. Roberts the social studies teacher who didn't really like me, Ms. Sussman the science lady who suddenly hated me for some reason, and Ms. Weintraub who was just plain weird... but besides that, I met some of the coolest people ever. Like Mary who was in my homeroom, Gene who was the object of my hatred (oops), Roger with whom I was good friends for a few years, Ronjon who was in like five of my classes once, Pat who was just awesome... the list goes on. I remember playing baseball and really sucking, playing piano and really sucking, doing Ms. St. Jean's work (for reading class) and really sucking, trying to explain to my mom why I got a B in that class and really sucking....

I remember when my parents RCP'd and Gene came over. I was sick, and he walked in and told me to get well soon. It made me feel very sorry that I'd been so mean to him (thought I think I still continued for some time). I'm pretty close to tearing up so I'll stop this now.

I remember studying for the first time ever. It was for Mrs. Mike, which I borrowed from Roger for a short time just so I could do decently on one of Ms. St. Jean's tests for it. Oh well, still ended up with a B. I also remember when I read about some guy's leg being sawed off without anesthesia. I cringed.

I also got into my sleeping-during-class habit during middle school. I was ok until around eighth grade, when I really just got sick of some classes like literacy.

What else. Ike. I won't even say more about him, except that he was one of the most interesting characters ever. Too bad he suddenly moved. I was at his house for three hours the day before he moved and I didn't find out that he moved until the day he actually moved. Indeed, this makes him very interesting.

Remember the pencil-shooters? Stealing from the school store at Dickerson? Getting caught for this (Charles!)? Witton's foot falling off? Tamagotchis? Digimon? Short-circuiting the outlets? Spitting out the bus windows... and coming curving back into a back seat?

I must say that one of the best memories was Gene biting Charles's knee during PE. Oh, and the time when I completely loaded my bookbag, walked down the new expansion hall that was opened in eighth grade, and had Charles call out my name from behind me. Well, it was planned so that CiCi would be between the wall and me at the time, so this resulted in my bookbag being rammed into her, which in turn resulted in her releasing a funny noise.

Either in 7th or 8th, I was in the same math class as Gene. He farted audibly two or three times, and the substitute gave him funny looks each time. Then the next time, she threatened to write him up (or maybe it was detention) if he did it again. Yup, he was silenced. I don't know if imposing the SBD punishment on his neighbors was ethical, though.

Then there was McGeehan, who was just utterly amusing (not amazing). I don't feel like writing about her any more because every time I visualize her she's wearing one of those annoying see-through blouses ^&($@# it's so annoying!

I need to end on something better than this. Hmmm... remember CiCi's "nice shoes" thing? Or something like that. Oh, Davita was in my some rigged exploratory... forgot the class's name. I thought she was Japanese for the longest time. I think I was surprised freshman year with news that she in fact is not, was not, and probably never will be.

This is too long. I'm going to avoid saying things about Ms. Gray and Rejent for now. Oh yeah, remember riding bikes on the golf course? Well, I did not like how Ms. Rejent (ok I seriously typoed Reject there) decided to make fun of me for it during a class discussion. Just randomly, she popped that into the topic for the day.

Guess who's keeping me up? This should come as no surprise.

2:04AM

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Thursday, June 24, 2004 (4 comments)

Dangit! How did I forget renob!?? I am so stupid. Thank you CiCi for pointing this out. I think it's Kumon... I've become stupider since working there because my brain just shuts off completely for eight hours a week now. Compare this to my sleep, when my brain is still on and actively making dreams.

No really Tiffany, you're good. You might have done even better if you had turned on the rap earlier though, so that toward the end I might have been too busy with my near-death experience to be able to play ping pong properly. But Charles still needs to come up with a better explanation than "she started pullin this shiet..."

Speaking of Charles, this is not cool at all now, IS IT?!?!

Oh and also, Zhang ran into this nasty puddle and managed to screech out a "FUUCCCKKK". I mean, like imagine Eva saying fuck while being poked in the side. Yeah, that was quite funny.

This is degrading.

Today I drank half a Coke before going to Kumon, and I stayed awake the whole time. It was great.

Tomorrow is going to be frisbee at PE. It's going to be great. In fact, tomorrow should be a pretty good day.

I'm tired today and my mom's being angry at me, so I'm going to leave now.

9:02PM

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Wednesday, June 23, 2004 (5 comments)

Last night was a really fun game of frisbee, and it lasted for pretty long too. As soon as I got there, I sprinted my butt off for this one throw but I stepped into a big pool of mud. I said "FUCK!!" really loudly, but of all the ways I could have said it, I decided to squeak it. That wasn't the only thing I squeaked during the game, either.

Then this throw is going to CiCi or something like that and I run back to get it... and somehow Jay hits it out of the air. I don't know. Later, a long throw sails into Jay's hands while Charles was on him. This defies all logic.

Remember back in middle school when Earth used to own? I was rummaging through old files and I came across one of my good finishes in FFA. The name sucks, but I didn't make it. I kind of miss wasting my time with useless computer games. I prefer wasting my time on frisbee or ping pong nowadays, though.

I went to Tiffany's to play some ping pong. After having her wear me out for an hour, I determined that (1) she hits the ball harder and more consistently than anyone my age I've ever played with (yes, that was a direct jab at everyone else) and (2) she's the only one who can return my slams on a regular basis. This was before I tried her little brother, whose arms are somehow shorter than even mine (or at least it looks that way). He can not only return my slams, but he can also more or less slam my slams back at me. It gets really annoying after a while, like when I think I've slapped a winner across the net at some incredibly high speed, but then noooooooo, it bounces straight back along with additional speed. This usually ends up with me jumping the wrong direction while off-balance, causing me to look goofy.

I only managed to recite (not in the exact words, of course) seven of the commandments when I tried to remember them. I'm going to hell, definitely. I like this Ten Commandments of Computer Security webpage. In case you remember the "security through obscurity" thing I talked about before, it's on here too.

Volunteering today at GCEH was kind of weird. There were these two other teenagers who knew about as much about computers as I, or at least that's what it seems. This means I can make really bad computer jokes and have people understand. It's great. So there's this really tall kid named Brian from Westminster. I do not know why, but when he walked in I thought he looked familiar, and when he talked to me he said the same to me. Then he asked me if I participate in this-and-this activity, and I haven't even heard of any of them.

Oh yeah, we were talking about the static bags because we needed to transport a hard drive, and one of them looks at the other and says "have you ever fried a part with static?" He was expecting a definite no, of course, but I just looked at him and went like "uhhhh..........."

I need to kick this habit of speeding. It's like the alcohol speaker dude today. I tell myself stuff like "I can drive fast and safely" and "I don't have a speeding problem" and "I can stop speeding and drive at the speed limit whenever I want to." At least I'm not totally in denial... first step, I guess?

I think I might go to sleep early tonight. I'm determined to not fall asleep at Kumon tomorrow. I didn't finish my solitaire game that other time... maybe that stack is still there.

7:58PM

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Tuesday, June 22, 2004 (3 comments)

Well, Charles, I was just using you as an arbitrary example because you were the first name to come to my mind. The same ban on entering my door will apply to people like Ronjon and Gene, who are totally dangerous and should be kept away from my house at all times. Ummm and my mom said your mom offered to come check on me every day... but now that I realize that it has to be after work, my worry is somewhat relieved. I'll have a grace period of about three hours every day from the time I wake up to the time she might come. But then again, my mom threatened me with Jenny's mom too, so I think I'm just pretty screwed. I'll be sure to figure out how to disassemble the ping pong table and get it out of here. Hey, think I can mount it on top of my car?

Oh yeah, about my car. Well, I had this little figure of Adam (well, it looked like Adam, ok?) as in Genesis, and Charles stuck him into a hole on my windshield wiper blade after frisbee on Sunday. It fit very tightly and you had to pull really hard to get it out. I drove home that night without incident. Well, yesterday there was a lot of rain, and by the time I reached Kumon, Adam was gone. I was very angry and punched my dashboard so hard that I broke some meters. Ok, so I'm not that dumb. I was just trying to make fun of Brian Shieh and the $500 LCD incident.

Due to the loss of Adam, I now have to actually go out and buy something to put on my car, like the Jesus fish. Ok, what on earth are they called? I went to ask "Hey, do you guys have one of those Jesus fish thingys that go on cars?" at the QT, and the guy gave me a funny look and then denied me. Then I turn around to hear laughs coming from a group of people led by Charles.

Oh my. Shelley has posted something that is by no means suitable for all audiences. KT's dead when she gets back. By dead, I mean like I'm going to learn some Romanian kung fu and slaughter her and her dog and then bury them in my lake.

The Ronjon question on my Gay Friend Test was the one most people got right. But for the people who missed it, here's for future reference. The rule is that if I ever ask a question about Ronjon, always pick the one that makes him seem like the biggest moron/Indian. In this case, it's the one that says I'll do nothing and just wait for him to fall off by himself. In any case, he does seem to have a bad habit of falling off cliffs for no reason, so why not?

So at summer school, there's this Indian guy who sits behind me, and directly behind him is some fat Cantonese (or maybe some other Chinese) dude. They argue all day about stupid things and tell each other why one country is better than the other, and come up with the lamest dumb insults ever to throw at each other. I mean, this really sounds like Ronjon and me, but what these guys say is ridiculously dumb, and not only that, but they get angry at each other for it. I'll remember some quotes for next time (there was one about the Chinese Mafia/organized crime but I forgot what it was exactly). Just for the record, I have to say that I'm siding with the Indian dude because the dumb Chinese kid is just retarded.

Tim suggested another good way to say "hi" online:

TFduke14: lets play smear the queer tonight
HolyCao86: UCK YOU YOU FUCKING MORON

Most/only important part of today's post: There is a Xanga called SkeetNews. This is the news thread for frisbee and such. Be sure to bookmark it and frequent it.

4:41PM

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Monday, June 21, 2004 (7 comments)

How did I forget to mention the ping pong ball? Well, I broke a lot of balls so I had to go buy some. Kmart only had these ginormous ones though... they are 55 mm diameter, as opposed to 40 mm on a regular one and 38 mm on the old ones. This makes it 2.6 times the size of a normal ball, so it's pretty much a light, hard tennis ball. The noise it makes when it hits the table is SO funny that after I hit it to CiCi, I wasn't able to return it because I was on the ground dying of laughter by the time it was heading back in my direction.

You won't believe how much this will reduce your skill. I wasn't able to keep the normal ball on the table after playing with the big one, because the big one refuses to be lifted up so it has to be pulled harder. This same action causes a normal ball to pretty much shoot straight up into the ceiling.

So... then back to the real 40 mm balls. I did get a few of those. I served it once, and it glanced off the right edge of the table, which was a first. I mentioned this to CiCi, and then said that I usually hit the back edge. She didn't know what I was talking about, so I decided to give a little demonstration. It went something like this: "Well see, normally when I serve AHHH OWW DANGIT!" I was trying to serve into the edge (which, of course, is not hard because I do it all the time anyway), but it bounced off the top of the back edge and flew straight into my eye at something like 50 mph over two feet so I wasn't able to get out of the way. I stood there watching CiCi her laugh at me for at least two minutes. Apparently I made a funny face or something. Do I ever do that?

My mom is leaving the second week of July for about a month I think. She has forbidden me to have people over, though. None at all. And of course, this will be enforced by regular or random checks by other Chinese parents. No problem =) But really, I can't believe she won't even let someone like Charles over. That's just evil.

Some day this week is going to be utterly amazing. I will have the pleasure of being pounded into the floor at ping pong by Tiffany's brother, who she never fails to mention is 13 years old. This is the moment I've been waiting for all my life. To be owned by someone who's smaller than me (or I should hope so). YES! Hey now that I think about it, I don't think I've ever played anyone who's much smaller and/or younger than me before. I'm just assuming he's smaller though, but I'd be scared out of my shoes if some 13-year-old Chinaman is bigger than me.

I was bored as dead roadkill today at Kumon. But toward the end, I got a stack of papers to grade that I had some fun with. See, papers are numbered and come in groups of five... 1-5, 6-10, etc, 196-200. So there's this really dumb idiot kid who has over 200 sheets (there were some repeats) arranged in no particular order. Well, you can just imagine what I did from here. I played Solitaire with his papers. So for example, if I got #4 and #7, then I'd put them in separate piles, and if later I got #2, I'd put that on top of #4. When I got a group of five, I'd put them in the master pile. (There's only one suit.) Yes, this entertained me for quite some time. By the way (lol Charles) I justify this nametag because he put down random answers (and his guessing is worse that coin-flip) on a lot of the sheets which his parents paid good money for. What a waste. He was definitely not Asian, by the way (Charles - this one actually wasn't intentional).

I know some people will think this is really odd coming out of me, but I really miss Eva. She better be heading back soon.

10:20PM

So today/yesterday/Sunday, I played ping pong on and off for six hours. Probably a third or a half of that time I was actually playing. CiCi's good to practice with for some shots. I finally learned to hit a backhand decently today.. this should make me 50% better since that's half the table. My mom got kind of mad that I didn't do anything "useful." She says that a lot. She was really happy when I told her about frisbee at 9, too.

Frisbee was actually a pretty fun game (for the Asians, anyway) until the lights went out. CiCi owned. After getting to the other field, we were going to play... then the light there died too. So I busted out my knife and watermelon! YES! $2.70 for these huge melons. I bought five and decided I'd offer one of them as a treat.

Okay, Winamp just repeated the same song... shouldn't the shuffle function avoid doing this?

If your name is Ronjon or Ai, then I have something good to show you =) Yessss... you'll enjoy it as much as I did. I hope. Need a light? (Mr. Montag speaking)

Hmm while we're on the topic of firebats... I saw the dumbest thread on the Blizzard boards today because it happened to be one of my useless Google results. So the title of the thread is "does blizzard steal names?" and the first line of the post was "Gui Montag- Guy Montag (main character of a book called Fareinheit 451)." WOW. This guys is a freaking genius. It only got better after that.

I miss Dutter. I haven't seen her for what, four weeks? I think I'm dying.

Yeah so I didn't look at the time because I was too busy laughing at Brian Shieh's idiocy. I would have slept at least an hour and a half earlier if I had looked at a clock. I'm going to sleep now.

1:38AM

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Saturday, June 19, 2004 (2 comments)

Yujing pulled an Eva on me. I can't believe this.

[23:21:59] icydog1: hey
[00:20:38] *** "YAOMX" signed off at Sat Jun 19 00:20:38 2004.

Well, that was probably his dad or something. I just like using the word "Eva" as an action.

Btw, so today my mom woke me up before 8 AM, which didn't exactly give me a lot of time to sleep during the night. We went to hire some Mexicans to move around furniture. We ended up having to rent a UHAUL truck of the biggest variety, and that thing was no fun to ride in and I'm sure it sucked to drive. Basically, starting from rest, you push the pedal down, hear lots of engine noise, but the truck stays at rest for 1-2 seconds before it lurches forward. The A/C was also broken.

Btw, the only other interesting thing that happened was that I found myself mentally humming to a song that was on the radio. I didn't even really notice that the radio was on until I noticed myself going along with it. I listened to the humming in my mind, and determined that it sounded a lot like Heaven. It was the one by Bryan Adams. I still like the DJ Sammy one better, though.

Btw, some people (Ronjon) give awesome greetings online. On the other end of the spectrum, here we have some of the absolute worst ways to say "hi." The first two were from today:

• *** FortTheabomb wants to directly connect.
  *** FortTheabomb is now directly connected.
  FortTheabomb: Fuck.
  FortTheabomb: Wrong person.
  FortTheabomb: Sorry about that.
  *** FortTheabomb direct connection is closed (couldn't send packet!).
  
  
• aguynamedallon: whats your SAT score
  aguynamedallon: sorry to be so blunt
  
  
• Terminamurai: hi
  icydog1: hey
  Terminamurai: you dont know me but my name is roger okamoto
  Terminamurai: and i love you

Btw, it's rather degrading to put Roger in the same group as Jay... but oh well, sorry. It was just too funny to not share.

Btw, I thought about this earlier, and it's not supposed to go with the above at all, though it may seem like it would. Have you ever noticed how some people really suck to talk to online, but they're awesome in person? Then there's the opposite but less common variety of people who are pretty interesting online but really suck in person. Maybe I'm just going crazy but I've noticed this since at least four years ago. Oh, and then there are the people who really suck to talk to anywhere. See the first of the three examples above.

Btw, I am looking into upgrading my Bellsouth service to their "Xtreme" plan, which will increase my upstream speed from 256 to 384 kpbs. It will also allow me a static IP option, which may be useful. I have some convincing to do though, because I'm not sure what my mom will say to this. If I get it approved, then this site should be able to run at 150% of its current speed, since currently the primary bottleneck is my upstream bandwidth.

Btw, where can I get a muffler for my computer?

Btw, watermelon time!

Btw, who do I sound like? haha =)

9:47PM

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Friday, June 18, 2004 (5 comments)

At the end of class today, I listened to an interesting conversation from the other side of the room. Some guy whose face I didn't recognize was asserting that there are a total of seven people in the world who are smarter in the subject of math than - you guessed it - Dragos. We won't even get into how smart he is, since most of us are lowly human beings and can't imagine what goes on within an berhuman's mind anyways. But how are you supposed to rank people's math skills? It's like saying that my nightmares are scarier than yours. I'm willing to bet that this "fact" will be going around at school next year.

Well, hopefully I heard it all wrong. But the guy did repeat it at least five times because people kept asking stuff like "what?" or "who are you talking about?" or "only seven?" or "I think I just lost some brain cells," though the last one seems more like something I wanted to hear rather than something I actually heard.

I told my mom my SAT score while she was on the phone. She thought I was kidding or something, but then she realized that I wasn't and she slammed her non-phone-holding hand on the glass dining table. I shrugged it off and told her I'm going to take a shower and then go to CiCi's. Then my dad sends me an email that almost sent me to the floor. Here is the main reason I almost fell out of my chair (remember that this is MY FATHER):

You already know that we are holding very high expectation to you because you have the talent given by God.

Ewww. He's obviously been listening to more God songs than I have.

I forgot to mention that last night, Drew was almost as entertaining as the movie. Actually... no, that amazing movie was far more entertaining. We should have locked Drew and Wilcox in a glass room with the stfu motion still passed.

I think the next poll should be to choose the hottest Miss Universe contestant or "representative" or whatever they call them. People seem to like talking about this a lot. But, I have no idea what to put as the choices, because I've only heard about (I think) Australia, Japan, Norway, and Sweden. Suggestions?

This keyboard I got on Thanksgiving isn't going to last me until next Thanksgiving. Donations gladly accepted, not tax-deductible.

I kind of turned my speakers up today... and the screen saver on the computer on the other side of the room deactivated because the bass shook the mouse too hard. It wasn't not even up that high. If small insects or other small animals were under the subwoofer hole as I turned on my music, I think they would be stunned and possibly killed. Hey, that would be a nice experiment. How many decibels of "Heaven" does it take to kill a cockroach when placed directly under the subwoofer? Oh wait, that would clearly be an unmistakable indication that I'll beat my wife in the future.

Frisbee today began as a very good game. Then when everyone was kind of tired, which was after like two hours, the game degenerated (actually, maybe "improved" is a better word) into two groups throwing two lit frisbees at each other in the dark. Yes, we need to do this more. Yes, we need to take a rifle and blast the street lights because they ruin the darkness.

If you didn't come today, you missed out. Especially throwing it in the dark, which was awesome and more fun than frisbee has been for quite some time (I guess that's pretty sad, but still, it was great). And Roger jumping into the ditch, and almost required Jason to save him with those lifeguard skills. Roger smelled amazing the rest of the time. As did Gene, with the insect repellant/sweat combo.

I killed so many annoying pests today as they tried to eat me alive. Only a few managed any degree of success, and a few of those died too. I'm going to shower.

Oh, yeah, and I got proven wrong/got served today. Well, you know how I always say no one wants to hit me because their car will take more damage and/or cost more to fix than mine? Well, so there's this stupid Mexivan... you know, the white ones. Yeah. Fearless bastards. It was leading me by half its length and changed freaking lanes without putting on the blinker. I had to stomp on the brakes and swing to the side pretty hard. The guy stuck his hand out the window and I couldn't really tell if he was trying to flick me off. I wish I had a potato launcher mounted on my car.

11:37PM

What? James raped everyone on the gay test? That makes as much sense as Charles failing.

Firefox 0.9 is a major disappointment. It worked for a few hours and then started crashing every time I tried to open it. They better fix this two-month-overdue release that doesn't even work.

The summer school studentry had to evacuate due to a fire drill. Sorry... I just really had an urge to use the nonword studentry because the author of that style book liked it so much.

Ok so we had these heart monitors right? They're hard rubber things which are supposed to go atop your sternum, and then there is a strap that goes around you to keep the device there. Then you get a wrist device that will receive RF (presumably) signals from the sensor and tell you your heart rate. Well, first off, my heart rate while sitting was supposedly 50-55, and this just doesn't make sense. Then I get up and start walking... 217 beats per minute. Everyone was outside for forty minutes and we were told to keep our heart rates between 140 and 180 for thirty minutes. I reached sixteen minutes... walking for me is 130 and running is 200. How perfect for me, since that totally falls outside the range...

I don't really have that much to complain about, though. At least my period of death/zero pulse was rather short, as compared to some others' who were dead for half the time. Well, as Ronjon said, "be glad that you're not wearing boobs with that" or something like that. Yes, glad I am.

So I was at the library, and I parked about six inches from the left side of the parking spot because the car on the right was rather close. Then this stupid idiot pulls in on my left... and is on my side of the line. I had soo much fun trying to get into my car and out of the space, especially because the other car wasn't even parked straight. The rear of that car was more inside my space than the front, giving me less than an inch of clearance for my rear-view mirror. You would imagine that adults have been driving for many years and should know how to park in a regular perpendicular parking spot by now, but noooo, some just never learn.

Ok and then I almost ran into a stupid fat cop because he was in the left turn lane except half his fat right side was hanging out into my lane because he's so fat so when I passed him while trying to avoid the car just to my right... yeah I love almost running into cops.

For the first time in like six months, I played UT2003 for half an hour yesterday. I turned my speakers up for full effect (and also to drown out my fans). Well, so everything is quiet and I'm walking around, and then some guy sneaks up behind me and flaks me from behind. I jumped up and almost out of my seat because the sudden noise scared me so much. These speakers are amazing. I wish I could put these in my car to replace the ones that rattle. But unfortunately, I don't think that my engine could power these speakers. They're like 400 watts, and the air that comes out of my subwoofers would provide more thrust (jet propulsion!) than my engine normally could to the wheels...

CiCi's party was a blast. The movie was possibly the best movie that we've watched as a group. There may have been better ones, but no one ever really watched. This one was just plain amazing. I loved the incredibly good acting and fight scenes the most.

Oh yeah. I hope no one but Charles believed that I got my knee sewed up. I didn't mean it... I was hoping people would notice because I mentioned Charles's leg being sewed back on (after the car incident) in the next sentence.

12:50AM

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Wednesday, June 16, 2004 (6 comments)

One Tree Hill is out. Firefox 0.9 was released yesterday. And no, I do not watch the TV show.

It's uncanny how some of the situations mentioned in that Jew book exactly match things I can relate to, if you cut out the names and specific examples. Too bad the advice really sucks sometimes, especially when it has to do with insects (see near the bottom of yesterday's post).

I have come to an amazing revelation today. I don't know why I didn't think of this earlier: If my grandpa ever finds out that I work for Japs, he would kick my ass faster than I can ask how much it costs Jess to light her lightning bugs. If he ever asks me how my job is (which he will), then the way for me NOT to begin is "the Japanese lady I work for..."

I filled this out last night, not today. Here it was:

Firsts
First best friend: Jay Wu (not Sun, mind you)
First car: The Protégé crap
First screen name: icydog1
First pet: Belinda
First piercing: no way
First true love: this question makes it sound as if it's already happened or something
First musicians you remember hearing in your house: No clue

Lasts
Last cigarette: Sometime in my next life, when I will be the person that embodies every single attribute that I currently hate.
Last car ride: I visited Ai at the tennis place where she does a lot of very hard work. The weather was so rainy that I couldn't see the road at all beyond my front bumper.
Last good cry: Well, I woke up with my neck very wet a few nights ago. I never figured out if it was because I cried during my sleep or just released a lot of sweat, as neither one ever happens.
Last library book checked out: The Ten Commandments of Character, Joseph Telushkin
Last movie seen: Passion
Last phone call: My mom ordered me to separate myself from the Demon, but apparently McLeod called me a few minutes ago and it didn't ring.
Last time showered: last night
Last cd played: My really gay CD in my car with songs on it that I don't even like.
Last item bought: Library fine? Other than that... I think gas on Sunday night.
Last annoyance: falling asleep while reading this book
Last disappointment: Knowing that I could do twice as many push ups two years ago
Last time wanting to die: many years ago... I may have said it this year, but I didn't actually mean it.
Last shirt worn: generic t-shirt that says Reebok on it
Last words you said: "ok ok ok" to my mom
Last song you sang: One of Us, Joan Osborne (damn it)
What color socks are you wearing?: it's too hot in here for socks
What Color underwear are you wearing?: Mostly green with some white and a bit of red. It's plaid.
What's under your bed?: cardboard box, light bulb, lots of wires, subwoofer, maybe some other assorted items
What time did you wake up today?: 6:50

Currents
Current mood: sleepy
Current music: DJ Epic
Current taste: I smell mint though there is none in this house anywhere
Current hair: up like a silly
Current clothes: tshirt and pants
Current annoyance(s): I'm way too full from eating too many dumplings
Current desktop picture: The Evanescence eyes picture and an upside-down nVidia desktop
Current book(s): The Holy Bible, and The Ten Commandments of Character
Current color of toenails: normal...?
Current time-wasting wish: go "eat ice cream" with McLeod or in other words watch her eat because I'm too cheap
Current hate: Toxic

My dumb Friend Test ended with Tiffany, Dumb, and Gay at 80, 79, and 78, respectively, and somehow Charles managed to get a 66. This is the reverse of what it should have been, and makes no sense at all. Here are the answers:

1. Which one of the following do I listen to the most?
The answer was Evanescence, but a lot put Britney Spears. She was only a choice because I listened to Everytime for like 48 hours straight.

2. I just raped the crap out of a wasp with my...
Electric flyswatter... duh! Chopsticks got you two points because of the fiasco at GHP, but bare hands? I don't kill stinging bugs with my bare hands.

3. Which of the following is LEAST likely to describe the game last night?
Of the choices (rape, ownage, deadly, sucky, rigged), I am least likely to say "sucky," though I do say that a lot. I meant any generic game, not some specific one from last night.

4. If I read the manual for an electronic device and the manual makes no sense to me, what will I do?
This one was actually a question of how well you know me, and I'm surprised most got it right. I do read manuals, as anyone who does not read a 500 page technical manual written in Engrish obviously has no life. The correct answer was "Pretend there's no manual and start assuming things and doing what I feel like doing." Usually if I can't figure it out, I just keep trying until either it works or it's broken. I've managed to create large sparks inside my computer on multiple occasions using this method. This has also caused me great pain via electrocution... but that's okay because I didn't damage any equipment and lost no money. (actually the sparks killed nothing either)

5. Which of the following can NOT be found under my bed?
You are all failures. I don't keep dead cockroaches/other animals under my bed, even if they somehow did manage to get there. My room doesn't have bugs... I try to stay on the offensive and kill them before they get up to my room. There is a subwoofer, a computer to feed sounds into it, and a giant light bulb to do nothing.

6. At any given moment, I want some of this.
Watermelon. I don't always want meat, just most of the time.

7. Which of the following do I have a fear of?
Heights. Hope that was easy.

8. Which of the following would you most likely find me doing on a boring afternoon?
I was surprised no one put that I'd be playing video games, though that wasn't right anyways. This one threw off the most number of people. 12/15 put sleeping, but that was only 5 points. I don't sleep that much in the afternoon, especially during the summer. The only one that came close was Ronjon, but I don't want to incriminate myself by writing the answer here. You should remember if you took it. It's the one about downloading.

9. If Ronjon threw me off a cliff, what would I do?
I can't believe a few people missed this. "Do nothing; he'll fall off by himself" is the correct answer. DUH! Come on, this is just the standard "I'm making fun of Ronjon" question. Didn't you catch it?

10. The last question. Which of the following do I value the most, above all the others?
Most people missed this and put intelligence. Why would I ever be friends with Ronjon if that was it!?? (lol don't kill me, I'm kidding) Well then again, the correct answer of honesty is not much better. I think I should have made it more clear and asked for what I value in a friend instead of just what "I value."

So, what did I do today. I went to summer school and felt tired and pain in my leg. That was super parallel structure. Then I came home and pretty much died on my couch... I just couldn't stay awake. I went to bed at 10 last night and read until around 12 though, so it really wasn't late at all.

Then I woke up and Shelley came over because for some reason or other she thought she'd beat me in arm wrestling. She stayed around for two and a half hours or so, and when her mom called she said she was playing with stuffed animals, which populate my house so densely that she was tripping all over them. That contains as much truth as "I hate ping pong," and it also dug her into a hole by forcing her to explain to her mom that she was, in fact, not in my bedroom. Her mom also thinks I'm a total queer now for the 50,000 stuffed animals she thinks I have.

I'm leaving soon to get the awesome "DANGER, MEN COOKING" caution tape that Charles got. My mom's going to find the kitchen completely covered in this stuff when she comes home from work tomorrow.

8:00PM

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Tuesday, June 15, 2004 (7 comments)

Aaaghhh I forgot to count the number of dumplings I cooked for lunch today. I ended up eating 28 of those things because I threw too many in the pot. To give you an idea, my meal is usually 13-16 of these. My stomach feels like it's ready to rupture at any moment... but I still feel like I can eat a few slices of watermelon which we unfortunately do not have )= That was about 1300 Calories. I'm developing a really bad habit of wondering how many calories are in everything I eat now... and that isn't good because then I eat less, which makes me not me.

So yesterday I decided to count my calories. Sorry, I'm turning anorexic. Sorry, but you are an complete idiot if you thought that (and I know that popped into someone's mind at least momentarily). It was just for curiosity's sake, ok? My result was 3050 Calories, 1040 of those from fat. I'd say it was a typical eating day, except I just realized that I ate no fruits. Weird... that never happens. This reminds me of something I posted in December of last year:

lost a pound .. 116
--
today i decided i should get some protein
so i ate
1 serving of egg whites with 1 slice of fat free cheese=62 calories

1 slice of whole wheat bread =80 calories

total - 142~not too bad i guess

workout=polaties//40 minutes

Ok now that I read this again, it just makes even less sense to me. A glass of orange juice or skim milk is ~150 Calories (I had five glasses yesterday)... what's up with this 142 Calories total in a day? Geez.

I haven't had my weekly dose of frisbee this week. (This has nothing to do with counting calories by the way.) Which of you hardcore frisbeers are up for a game in the rain?!

Apparently Yahoo! Mail gives 100 MB per mailbox for free now. That was a sudden jump. And they still think I'm under 13 even though they have my DOB.... tardos.

I got this dumb book (The Ten Commandments of Character) from the library due to a bad influence (more or less). It has turned me three times more [Judeo]Christian (author's Jewish) than I have been before. But still, Jason's claim is untrue in every way. Please don't pull a Shelley and believe what he wrote about me becoming a believer.

I don't like how this guy talks about not killing harmless insects and stuff. Well, sucks for the cockroach in my garage, because although it may be "harmless," it's going to be sprayed with flammable liquid and torched like the others if it comes out of hiding (and isn't near the gasoline). The author also draws a direct and deliberate link between killing insects for pleasure and beating wives later in life. After all, since I've killed cockroaches for pleasure, how can I ever possibly hold myself back from physically assaulting my future wife? Wait, was that a comparison between my future wife and a cockroach?

Yes, I can see myself beating people, since I am of course a very violent being. I solve all problems with violence. Last time I couldn't do a math problem, I got up in extreme anger and started kicking my math instructor. Actually, that sounds like something Eva would do if "math instructor" = "me"... but I digress. I want to punch myself repeatedly during some parts of this book. But hey, if I didn't get this mental stimulation every once in a while (the kind I don't get at Kumon), then I wouldn't be reading this book.

This bothers me:

wendy0428: you hear things that weren't said

Will someone please tell me if I've ever done this? Because I certainly don't remember any instances.

3:40PM

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Monday, June 14, 2004 (6 comments)

YES! I am freaking amazing at these friend tests. I think the only one I passed was Charles's. Wendy's doesn't count because everyone passed hers. I got a 30 on Pat's and a 33 on Ai's. This doesn't make any sense at all.

So at Kumon today I had the best time ever. There was this stupid annoying little mosquito that was annoying the crap out of me. But of course, I had to try to maintain my composure. So I tried to silently kill it (with my hands... it's too small for the flyswatter) for about five minutes, and failed because moving my hands slowly just won't do it for a little creature like that. It went away after five minutes and scoring a point against my ear. This angered me greatly. 45 minutes later, my instinct prevailed against my intelligent thought. Next thing I knew, I felt a hard smack against the back of my neck. I didn't even notice myself do it. I left the bug on the edge of the desk for future little ear-predators to see, so that they will know that if they come near the desk I sit at, bad things will happen to them.

By the way, the score for Me vs. Houseflies is currently 4 to nothing. That's right, four of those pests with bare hands only, and they haven't even killed one of me yet. Who knows how many thousands more I've gotten with the flyswatter...

Ok then I get home and more ownageness happens. My mom starts talking about this Chinese girl [about whom we won't get into because I don't ever talk to her and she goes to Emory anyways]. This makes a little more sense in Chinese than it does here:

Mom: Blah blah blah "...she has a boyfriend..." blah blah blah "...he comes home on weekends to help his parents with the clothes-washing business."
[I took this to mean dry cleaner at the time, but I guess it could be a laundromat too]
Me: "Are they Korean?"
Mom: "HOW DID YOU KNOW!?!??!"

Roger Okamoto IMd me yesterday and began with a pretty interesting intro. Anyways, the link on his profile owns. Aauughhh [meat grinder sounds followed by gunshot] This fits in too well with that blasted Classical Theory of FREAKING CRAP. (no you don't know what I'm talking about)

Ok this is total crap. When I get bored as an adult, this is going to be on the top of my list of things to do. That Supreme Court justice dude is going to have his brains blown out by my atheist fist. Hmmm. Can I be Patriot Act-ed for that?

Uhh yeah I really have no more to write and I will now entertain myself by doing other things.

9:32PM

When Charles was over on Saturday, he got a kick out my mom's entrance into the room. The first thing she said when she walked in was "That Japanese Demon..." ("那个日本鬼子......") She was talking about the dumbs who live at our house that's getting sold. Why are they dumb? Because they're selling new furniture for ridiculous prices. My mom said they're selling everything for $50 and $100. King-sized bed set, $100. Dining table with six chairs? $50.

Driving with people in the car has about as much effect on me as spinning on that dumb spinny thingy. I sped like crazy and didn't even notice until Ronjon started yelling at me. I guess it's kind of hard to pay attention to the road when Ronjon's making Ronjon jokes and I'm trying to control my laughs so that I don't hit my head on the steering wheel repeatedly.

I had fun tailgating people in the parking lot with less than 6 inches to spare. No one tried cutting in front of me. Yup, they all dropped their jaws and stared in amazement as they thought, "Look at the skill of that small Chinese guy! I wish I could be amazing like him and scare my passengers shitless, especially that useless Indian dude whose face has almost fallen off from worrying too much." I would have just run over any would-be cutters anyways. Except for that guy with the 40 inch wheels, who according to Ronjon obviously has a bigger penis than me. Unfortunately, I can't really do much damage to that car because I'll either bounce off a wheel or go under it.

I saw an SUV with spinners today. My life is complete. I've said that like 10 times now, haven't I? Let's see... what has happened that has made me say "my life is complete"? (In other words, these are my greatest accomplishments in life.)

1. Seeing this SUV with spinners
2. Beating Parkview at state with the team of awesome
3. Getting a 175 g National Science Bowl frisbee
4. Setting steel wool on fire and inhaling (well not like sniffing it intentionally)
5. Dissolving a metal dish with NaOH and watching helplessly as the chemical sprayed all over my bathroom
6. Bringing home a light bulb from New Orleans
7. Toasting my first vespine victim with the electric flyswatter (vespine is not vespene, by the way)
8. Popping my first formic victim with a magnifying glass
9. Fixing the only two Judges left over from the reign of King Menes (I haven't found her time machine yet... I'll go in that closet some time next year though and it'll be in there without a doubt.)
10. I can't think of another one.. sorry.

I have one more reason to continue living (well two, but we'll ignore the other one for now). HUB CAPS! I have three of them right now. The diameter of one of them is probably higher than my bumper... and the other two are for small cars but they're still too big for my lame car. It was awesome when Ronjon just rocketed out of my car at the Fuller's stop signs (the really useful ones) and picked up a cap. The way he shot out was like a cartoon, like what would happen if my passenger's seat heated up to 1200 C in a small period of time... except that he didn't go through the roof.

ENDOSKEET

Speaking of endoskeet, I think Kristen needs a hug.

1:27PM

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Sunday, June 13, 2004 (7 comments)

I'm feeling very queasy right now from spinning WAY too much on that spinny thingy. I had lots of fun trying to drive home. I had no sense of speed so by the time I thought I was going 40 I was at 60. I'm also disappointed that we didn't play frisbee. Smear the queer was fun, except I would have done a lot more smearing and queering if I hadn't ripped out a chunk of flesh from my knee last night. I had to drive home shirtless because the friendly local Demon was doing what Demons do, and put a handful of wood chips down my shirt. I did not have the audacity to take off my pants though some junk did fall down there.

Just to clarify, what happened at the pool last night was that I was out of the pool and Jess tried to pull me in, and she pulled harder than I thought she could so I slipped and slid on my knee. The thing with the shorts was earlier when Jess & CiCi tried to pull my shorts down. They got a pretty good grip and I was relieved that my shorts didn't rip apart. That would have been bad.

Ownage. Everyone's becoming an Asian girl and making those dumb Friend Tests now.

I can't stay up any longer. I'm going to throw up all over myself because I'm still really dizzy.

10:17PM

Dingting ended up not playing frisbee =( but he did at least make an appearance. It was an ok game, but I think the previous one was better even though it wasn't that great either. Then baseball happened, though we were a bit lacking in players and matériel. I was better four years ago. This is sad.

Then we went to Jess's pool, where I have learned two things:

1. Do not allow yourself to be dragged on a concrete surface. It is not healthy for your skin cells.
2. Do not blow (anything) too hard. Even if it's practice for GT. I noticed blood in my nose when I went home because I blew on those noodles too hard.
3. Wear shorts with strong drawstrings on them. DO NOT WEAR SHORTS WITH ONLY AN ELASTIC BAND.
4. If (3) cannot be achieved, at least make sure you know how to take off a girl's swimsuit quickly and efficiently in case you must defend yourself. I guess this only goes for guys.
5. Lightning bugs are not electric lights.

Well, that started as two things but I thought of a few more, so it's not exactly two things. But as Gene would say, 5 is approximately equal to 2.

I'm sorry, everyone. I have turned into an Asian girl. Those monsters are infectious. (KT was the one who dealt the final blow of defeat.) Anyways, http://icydog.friendtest.com [site has been deleted]. Have fun and don't be an idiot. I expect a lot of 100's because some of these are just plain giveaways. Well, when I wrote that, I expected high scores. Then Charles comes back with a 66 and I am forced to reconsider the above statement. They're good except #1 and #10, which are slightly annoying.

I'm going to get my leg stitched up from being owned at Jess's pool now. My appointment is in 33 minutes. At least I don't have to get my legs stitched back on the way Charles did.

3:57PM

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Saturday, June 12, 2004 (4 comments)

SAT bets [link is now dead]! Join, you pieces of useless lard!

Ronjon told me not to make jumping-off-cliff jokes because he says people actually fall off of them. What kind of idiot falls off cliffs? Anyone with skills of this caliber must be Indian.

What??? Harold is Korean!??!?! I thought he looked so Chinese! This is very disappointing. I think I've just changed my mind about seeing this movie. Not really. I'm still going the hour it comes out. I'll dye my hair so I'll look Korean. This way, Ronjon and I will fit in better. Before I know it, there will be people asking me how my date was with Ronjon. I hate gossip.

This is awesome. My mom gave me the girlfriend speech again, after not giving one for at least six months. For those of you who don't know, it goes like "Don't have one till college because it's useless. Use your time on more useful things." This is then repeated ad infinitum. Anyways, that's isn't the funny part at all. The funny part about this time is that every time she said "girl" she also said "boy" right next to it. It kind of bothered me a little and I couldn't help but leak a smile while trying not to look at her.

Do I really seem that gay, even to my own mom!??! This reminds me of Gene's mom. Maybe this is a prophecy that I am going to GT. Uh, crap.

You know what I've just noticed? Some people's Xangas are rigged in such a way (aka they use IE-specific coding) that they don't even begin to look good on a real browser (one that sticks to the true HTML definitions) but actually work decently on Internet Explorer. For examples, try Mary and Tiffany.

My CPU temperature has gone up 10 C in the past year. I have a feeling that if I open my case now, I can dig out a brick of dust in a nice 4x4x6" block, the same size as my heatsink.

This Dvorak stuff is working pretty well. Pretty soon I will be back up to QWERTY speed. I typed the The Lion and the Mouse at 115 words per minute and 98% accuracy. Then I searched for a paper on relativity [link is now dead] and got owned (97 wpm/93%). And... talk about owned. I just tried QWERTY and I got 46 wpm/90% on the same fable.

The good thing about this keyboard is that when I type, I still feel extremely lacking in skill, whereas with QWERTY, I felt that I was pushing it, like there was absolutely no way I could type any faster or more accurately. I seriously think I can hit 180 wpm on this thing though, with enough practice. For those of you who have nothing better to do... I suggest trying this. It's summer anyways, so there's not that many important things you have type with speed.

McLeod was over, and being McLeod, she can't just play ping pong without entertaining herself while playing. So this time she decides to make fun of the girls who make orgasm noises when hitting tennis balls. She did it so loud that I fell on the floor laughing, especially because my mom was home... she would have KILLED me.

6:53PM

Alright all you losers. If you have never had a motivation to come to frisbee, well, now you do. Frisbee will be at 8 PM tonight (Saturday) at the same field, the soccer field past Fuller's. Aaaaaand... this just about summarizes why you are (yes... ARE) motivated:

icydog1: DUDE GUESS WHOS COMING TO FRISBEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ManOfAwesome: who?
ManOfAwesome: ding ting?
icydog1: com on guess
icydog1: YES
icydog1: YES
icydog1: YES
icydog1: YES
ManOfAwesome: YES YES YES YES YES

This will be the best frisbee game ever. Everything is made better when Dingting shows up. Ehh, except ping pong I guess. But that doesn't even matter because he looks like he's good at it and that's all that matters.

And then, I get the idea that something was wrong with me. Actually, that was redundant.

icydog1: god man i do not want to eat
*** Auto-response from ManOfAwesome: restocking on my supply of ATP
icydog1: man = damn
icydog1: dude i suck at typing
ManOfAwesome: U DONT WANT TO EAT???

I need to eat dinner now. I really need some meat. I haven't eaten a decent chunk of meat for like 10 hours... geez what is wrong with me today/yesterday?

12:22AM

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Friday, June 11, 2004 (5 comments)

You guys should actively advertise the SAT betting pool [link is now dead]. Remember it's just how accurately you guess your score, not how high you get.

10:46PM

Yeah whatever.

Might as well make some kind of useless post so people don't think I'm going to jump off a cliff. Hello... I haven't seen the Devil in over three weeks.

I saw "endoskeet" on Ronjon's Xanga. I looked it up and here's what I found.

endoskeet
  n.
1. A degenerative disorder characterized by skeeting towards the posterior of the torso rather than outwards.
2. Retarded skeet which skeets in the wrong direction due to a developmental disorder resulting in flagella formation on the wrong side.
3. Skeet collected within the body, typically due to this disorder. This may lead to a skeet overflow, which may in turn lead to further complications such as skeetmonia.
  v.i.
To release endoskeet.

The speaker (that's a sound-producing device, not a sound-producing person) next to me looks like it leaked some endoskeet. I'll have to clean that thing some time. Hopefully what happened was just my sister spilling milk on it when she was really little.

I went to the Lifetouch or whatever you call it studio today for the senior picture. The girl there is fhot. Anyways, on the way back I turned the wrong way on the loop and then again on Roswell. Somehow, I didn't even notice that I went the wrong way on Roswell for about two miles. I am really good with directions. Then I tailgated people driving at 3 mph on roads with 40 mph speed limits... grrr slow people.

On the way to frisbee, Ronjon picked up another hub cap (while listening to Sweetest Sin). That brings the total to three. Frisbee was pretty fun for a little while except that people didn't really seem to want to run as much as usual. Then it quickly deteriorated and I left. I think everyone else left right after me.

10:13PM

Sometimes, I want to punch Life in the stomach.

Sometimes, I want to kick Life in the face.

Right now, I want to shove a stick of dynamite up its butt and ignite it with a flamethrower.

11:54AM

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Thursday, June 10, 2004 (7 comments)

Visit the SAT Pool [link is now dead] page! There's four entries so far. I'm just too lazy to put them all up now.

Ahhhhh. I walked downstairs today after taking a shower and almost managed to make it all the way downstairs with nothing but a t-shirt on (and boxers). I hope you liked the reference, Ronjon. Anyways, I can just imagine myself doing this before summer school one day... but I don't want to imagine that. Holy crap that'd be the most embarrassing thing EVER. I'd go outside, look into the car on my driveway, wonder why I see stifled laughter, and then look down and run back in while turning cherry-red. And I wasn't even tired today. When I wake up in the morning... anything could happen. It's good motivation for me to sleep early.

Yesterday, I forgot about the story that Ronjon wanted me to write about. We're leaving the parking lot at Sprayberry, and Ai is waiting on the left side of the road for some reason. Anyways, this SUV of chompies pulls into the right side and cuts us off (we're making a right turn). The driver yells "BITCH!!!" really loudly, probably at Ai. We (Ronjon and I) roll down our windows and begin throwing things at them. Paper wads, gum wrappers, at least one pencil... etc. They moved too far for me to get the water container out of my hand =( After we begin throwing things, the dumb girl says a few things really funny, and the highlight was her screaming at the top of her lungs "YOU GUYS ARE FUCKED UP!!!!" I reply with essentially the same thing, which isn't fun at all. I should have thought for a few more seconds and said something like "I'll fuck you up."

Today I finished all my work in PE and slept (duh). I like the teacher, except for his dislike of sleeping. He's really anal about it. He said we could read or do other stuff, but not sleep. It sucks so bad. Wonder what he's going to do to me if I just sleep anyways. It can't be worse than the Devil, can it? I mean she just yelled at me when I accidentally fell asleep a few times.

Anyone who thinks ping pong isn't a sport either has not tried it or has not tried hard enough to play on a demanding level (which is why I want to have a match with those insane Indians). Also, s/he has not watched ping pong being played between professionals, because these games are intense. I've seen the distance between player and table increase to half the width of a tennis court on at least one instance (and this continued for about eight back-and-forth shots). I'd say it involves more mind power than something like football, but that's just an opinion. But hey, if you were to take the IQs of professional football players and compare them to those of professional ping pong players...

I almost made that lame grammatical mistake of comparing football players' IQs to ping pong players. This type of mistake is so easy to find on the PSAT Writing (and similar tests), yet I still almost managed to do it.

It's been a while, and everyone's been doing these, so I guess I'll follow suit. I took this from Charles so I may have left a bit of what he wrote.

Name: David
Birthdate: May 18, 1987
Zodiac Sign: The Bull
Location: basement
Hair Color: Chinese Black
Eye Color: dark brown
Wavy/Straight/Curly Hair: straight
Hair Length: just got cut, like 2-3 inches
Color of Nails: fleshy pink
Hobbies: sleep & eat
School: Sprayberry (the building) sucks more than Walton
Do you have long/short nails: short
What are you wearing right now: shorts, boxers, t-shirt
Date: 2004-06-10

I hate the mm/dd/yy format of writing dates. If it's 06/10/04 and you go to practically any other country in the world, you're going to have problems. It even confuses me sometimes.

FAVORITES

color: green or blue
number: i don't have a favorite number
radio station: 96.7, 94.1, ... dunno I don't listen much because my radios suck
Time of day: 11:30 PM
Weather: it's dark out, I can't see well in the sky
Subject: lunch
Clothing Store: ...
Jewelry: no
Sesame Street character: garbage man
Month: January
Season: Winter
Shape: square
Sense: vision
Drink: real orange juice
Alcoholic Beverage: not really

LOVE & RELATIONSHIPS

What is the most important part of a relationship: I like Charles's answer (honesty)
Are you currently in love: no
Have you ever been in love: i think not
Your Crush: Well, let's see. Roger (Hu) says I have a girlfriend, and so does McLeod... that's gotta be one of the most ironic things I've ever heard.
First Kiss: what am I supposed to write here?
First Boyfriend/Girlfriend: Marie, way back when.
Is there anyone that you would date again: yup
Do you believe in love at first sight: no

FRIENDS

one that lives farthest away: people in China
one that lives closest to you: Ronjon, I think
tallest: Charles
Shortest: tiffany or cici, whichever one is shorter (yeah... which one IS it?)
Argue the most with: When's the last time Ronjon and I saw each other for >0.6 seconds and did not argue?
Always get along with: arguing is the same as getting along
Makes you laugh the most: arguing is laughing
Has been there through all the hard times: Gene
Is the smartest: Dragos
Best Mannered: dunno
Best Dressed: Charles The Metro
Most talkative: CICICICI (lol)
Most Innocent: This question blows.
You can trust the most: Gene, probably
One you've known the longest: Charles. According to you, it was since first grade so that's 11 but I don't remember so I don't know.
Known the shortest: known the shortest or WISH I've known the shortest?

McLeod posted the best one ever:

Type your name with your:
nose: f'yf (wow I suck)
elbow: ddaovwiddfh
chin: dfa'VSID
foot: david
eyes closed & one finger: damih
palm: ha.zvd
cell phone: david
wrist: hdaovzwiu

Ok... I guess Dvorak was only hade for fingers, feet, and cell phones. This really does not work well with other body parts.

11:52PM

Visit the SAT Pool [link is now dead] page. Bet on what you got on your test, and the closest three win. Yes, the catch is that you have to put money into the pot to get any out. Sorry.

1:57AM

Thanks a million, Ronjon. Today, I had the pleasure of wasting his early afternoon by having him take me to apply to this volunteer place, the Georgia Coalition to End Homelessness. They seemed pleased when I said that I run a web server at home, because it seems that they're in need of IT people. Good thing I run more than this site, since this seems a bit inappropriate to show anyone. Doing a computer job seems like an effortless way to do volunteer work, since it's something I actually enjoy doing. I saw them use Windows 98 though, and I almost vomited.

Taking PE is letting me realize how extremely in shape I am. After jogging/running five quarter-mile laps around the track and stopping, my heart pumped 36 times in 10 seconds (216 bpm), so while running it's more like 230 or 240. Yes, that's really healthy, isn't 120% of my "maximum" heartrate, and won't cause me to explode in a violent gush of blood that will totally spray some hapless victim in the face. Hmmm, that would be an interesting sight... you're jogging down the track, then you look up and see this guy clutching his chest, and then all of a sudden he sprouts a leak and blood shoots everywhere like he got shotgunned.

Sorry. The Passion really got to me. It was uh, really graphic. I wasn't able to find a time to laugh though, and anyways I'd like to keep my head attached to my head. I did receive a death threat from this really weird person who sat next to me.

SAT scores are online next Friday, June 18, and mailed June 28. Let's make a pool and see whose guess is closest to his/her actual score. That would produce interestingness.

I went through the old Zhangas today to censor things. Yes, it's the first time I've actually changed the material on old entries. Teachers are probably going to read this next year and... yeah. I didn't erase stuff about the Devil, as that would cause some posts to look halfway eaten by really hungry penguins (in other words, there'd be nothing left on some posts). I also found some really stupid things I wrote in the past.

I found the single stupidest sentence I've ever written on my site, ever. It was about trivia night at Tijuana Joe's:

I can't believe Ronjon would lie to me.

Quickly, I found the second stupidest. This is about physics... I was actually afraid of Dutter giving me a zero for something in that class.

I got so scared because 5% of our final grade is that dumb binder.

Actually... uhh, yeah actually she did give me a zero... I didn't think of that when I started typing this.

The second half of what Roger here said surprised me. I didn't see this coming. See, this is how rumors spread. Dumb things happen, people tell other people, more dumb things happen, and uncontrolled proliferation of insane dumbness ensues.

Mewman13: you can call your girlfriend
Mewman13: i mean mcleod

Anyways, frisbee at 7 tomorrow (Friday) on the field past Fuller's. Be there, or be screwed.

Speaking of my favorite cheerleader ever, or actually that's not hard because I've never liked any other cheerleader, she came over today and found out how boring my house is. Except for the ping pong table and me, of course. She sat in front of my computer for about an hour and I had the recorder on the whole time (yes she knew)... I'll sift through it to find good blackmail material =) I have one that says "I want to do David" and somewhere else there's another one that goes like "I don't get any reception in David's bathing suit I mean basement."

At like 11:15 she wanted to go to Starbucks so I asked my mom. She told me that it's "not good" to go places with people I don't know (McLeod's friends). McLeod thought my mom was afraid she (McLeod) would rape me or something. I had that thought too, and I questioned my mother's sanity.

When I came home I scared the crap out of my mom as usual. I figure she'd be used to me walking in the door at night now anyways, especially since I was on time.

12:25AM

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Tuesday, June 8, 2004 (3 comments)

I was cleaning the big empty room with all the science olympiad stuff in it last night... I looked at the lye bottle, and I noticed that a lot of it had crawled out. Yes, the lid was on TIGHT. At least 75 grams of lye had crept out of the bottle and left a large thick white ring at the base of the container, as well as lots collected near the lid. And to top that off, the bottle was only 3/4 full to begin with! Wow that really expanded. At least the lid wasn't so tight that it exploded. WOW that would have been bad... the walls covered in lye. Or better yet, if someone was in there when it exploded... ugh that'd be ugly. So would the poor hapless soul.

Gene, I'm too lazy right now to make an animation of the Chinese flag raping anything else... but here's what's going to get owned as soon as I get un-lazy:

Sorry if it's a disappointment. It was the best I could do... I don't even know if I put the striped thingys in the right positions because I've never really inspected a Korean flag before. The communist side doesn't need to get owned, by the way, which is why it's not in there.

I tried setting the squishing icon as my background so I'd have 1544.4 (that's a calculated number) red circles being smushed at the same time... but it won't animate! I remember having an animated wallpaper for five seconds sometime in the past, and it was extremely obnoxious so that's why it only lasted five seconds. It would be so much fun if this dumb thing worked.

So my mom told the best Japanese story ever yesterday. Ai gave a nice reaction to this story and then... she agreed. Talk about unexpected. Here's what happened, but it was all in Chinese of course:

Me: The Japanese Demon thinks you're pretty.
Mom: Hmm, Japanese people say that a lot.
   [insert short story here about the idiots who live in our house in Glenside]
Me: (I forgot what I said. It was something useless, which is why I forgot.)
Mom: Yeah, there must be a lot of very ugly people in Japan.

Then my mom proceeded to criticize and make fun of the dumb Indians who wanted to buy our house. The guy called my mom and started yelling at her and threatening legal action against her... so she got pissed. The guy wrote an email like "I have had many honorable friends from mainland China, so I did not expect..." blah blah something about what my mom did which was disagreeing to selling the house to them. I want to flyswat that guy in the face.

I didn't think a 12-year-old could be so horny and gay, but these sillies have proven me wrong. Hey, maybe it's Yük. Wait, he's Korean. Whatever... same thing.

Last July, a 12-year-old boy in Nagasaki a city just north of Sasebo was accused of kidnapping, molesting and murdering a 4-year-old by shoving him off a roof.
(from CBS) [the article has been removed]

If anyone wants to play ping pong with me anytime this month, call me or just show up and hope I'm home. Especially if you're one of those people who are good enough to beat me while fooling around... it'd be nice to play people like that crazy Indian every day. I miss playing it for two or five or eight hours a day at GHP.

There's nothing like feeling the burn from an overdose of ping pong. It feels so good except for the minor detail that I can't move any part of my body except my jaw and left arm the day after.

The jaw's all I really need though, so it's all good. For example, if some silly dancer girl comes up to me and tries to grab my cheeks, all I have to do is snap my jaw and she will flinch and jump back three feet like I'm a ferocious little dog or something. What a silly story I just told. Who would ever do that.

6:00PM

---

Monday, June 7, 2004 (9 comments)

The comments

Charles: My coach has the long name beginning with T. I don't remember it but he's kind of funny sometimes.
Wendy: Yes, it took two seconds (literally) to convert it to WAV. However, it's 37.7 MB (that means BIG, thank you very much). MP3 works as well as WAV on Xangas, so there's no need. Besides, even good music on Xangas is really annoying, so don't even put it on there.
Wendy and Ai: GAY! I just opened that song in Winamp and what is this crap? "Your hair is brown. Your eyes are hazel. I've got your picture." This song is worse than "don't like an erection"! Agghh it's terrible.

Other stuff

And speaking of "don't like an erection," those four words were playing on repeat in my mind for about three hours while I was monotonously working at Kumon. Lame, lame, lame, lame! The first time I heard it, I heard "direction," which I think is what it's supposed to be. Then Ai's dirty mind sends signals to her mouth to say "ERECTION!!" and that's all I've been hearing since. Now, I can't even hear the "direction" if I try.

I have compiled my list of the worst songs I've ever heard. Here they are:

5. Joan Osborne - One of Us ("what if God was one of us...")
4. whatever the erection song is called by whoever it's by
3. The Vapors - Turning Japanese (the crap Wendy and Ai sent me, mentioned above)
2. Britney Spears - Soda Pop
1. Britney Spears - Toxic

Ugh, Toxic is AWFUL!

Ok, so #5 isn't that bad, or not bad enough to be on the bottom 5 anyways. But it's just really stuck in my head.

Rap is not featured here because noise does not count as music or "song." By the way, when does summer school start every morning? Eight in da mornin! Just like all other parties of course =)

O, do I love ping pong. I need to play it a lot more, and with more than like two different people. I'll plan a coup of ping pong club at Walton. Organize a tournament or something for next year. I'm sure Dutter will help with the coup and she'll replace whatever teacher is doing it right now.

10:16PM

I really love Trillian sometimes (actually, I do... it's just stupid sometimes):

Do you see this? The Chinese is sideways!!! Holy crap it's stupid. Even if you can't read Chinese, check out the question mark in the second to last line.

When I was cleaning out my room, I found a random pad of paper which feels like it's 50 pound bond or something. It's so nice I don't even want to use it. Yeah I know, that right there was really Chinese of me.

Summer school was pretty boring... three hours every morning of that?? Wow it's going to suck. At least there doesn't seem to be excessive amounts of Busy Work... there was really not much book work for the first three chapters. But still, three hours... and getting up at 7! AHHHHHH!! It's school all over again!

So anyways, we get there and he goes through all the rules and stuff... and the only behavioral item he talked about that wasn't on the sheet was sleeping. Let me quote him: "if you need to excuse yourself to go outside in the hallway to slap yourself in the face, then please do so." Well, something like that.

I took notes today. The room was filled with the normal chatter and nothing really stood out. Then all of a sudden, I hear "WHO'S THE ONE WHO SLEPT WITH YOU?" really loudly. (Yes, my notes consisted of that one line.) It wasn't a shout or anything, just really loud. Chomps are funny.

The other thing we did was stretching, though I wouldn't call pushups stretching... that'd be stretching it. Was that awesome or what? Ok anyways, there were two interesting ones. One was the "fire hydrant," which didn't make any sense to me until I started doing it. You get on your hands and knees, then lift one leg to the side and repeat that a lot of times. The other interesting one... you get on your back, lift up your butt, and "SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEZE!!!" Yeah....

Speaking of squeeze... I made a buddy icon yesterday in response to someone else's (gee I wonder who). I hope you enjoy this, and hopefully all you Chinese people will make it your AIM buddy icon too so that we can get a cult going. And if anyone asks me what the red circle is, I'm going to kill myself by listening to rap. I can see Jay doing that. Maybe Vincent, too.

2:57PM

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Sunday, June 6, 2004 (4 comments)

The stupid Japanese Demon's daughter who lives at my house called me at 4:30 and asked for my mom. And guess where my mom was? At that house! I called my mom 10 minutes before this girl called me and my mom said she had been there all afternoon. Maybe it would be a good idea for these people to keep track of who is in the house they live in...

On to less dumb things not involving "where is that person who is standing three feet from me?"

Actually, this is not much less dumb. It's more interesting, though.

I heard the Walton sign got funny, so I went with Ronjon to take a look. Maybe the administrators had too much [rum] to drink...? (Bill Murdock to the right; bus lanes to the left)

RUM
HAVE A RAW SGEET

The other side looks like fun too, but I think some red/anti-green people removed the "WHALES":

SAVE THE
    *        *

While I was there, a bug flew into my eye. I smeared it out of my eye and it was disgusting. My eye felt funny for a while.

Before Ronjon and I went to see this sign, a bunch were at frisbee. It didn't last very long though. Maybe 30 minutes. Then some went to swim. As I was trying to back out my parking lot, I noticed this big red thing blocking my way. It looked a lot like McLeod's car with a McLeod in it. I waited for a minute hoping she'd move, but once that didn't happen, I just began backing out like there was nothing behind me. She moved. See, the good thing about having a crappy car is that no one wants to get hit by you. I don't know if that makes up for the reduction in property value wherever I go, though.

I need to go to sleep now. This is starting to sound like a school night. Grrrrrrr I wish summer school started later. Actually, I don't, because then it'd just be really hot. If I get put into second period I'm going to be really mad and spear whoever does the schedules.

10:17PM

Today was one of the most fun days I've had since a month ago. The fun can't nearly be encompassed with words though, so I won't really try.

This morning was the SAT, which I didn't feel I did so well on. Anyways, that's not the highlight.

It was supposed to be at North Springs, but it got changed to some Ridgeview Middle School. Rigged. When the road almost reaches this school, instead of speed bumps, it has these U-shaped bends in the road that make you turn sharply to the right and then back. All along the inside curb, you can see where tires left their marks. They were SO annoying. If I drove anything but my little car, I'd be hitting those curbs like I hit flies.

Then when I parked, I forgot about parking near the exit... I'm real smart. It took me 10 minutes to back out of my spot, 15 minutes to BEGIN moving after backing out (so I'm not facing the front of the line, but rather the side), and 15 minutes to get out of the road onto a main road. By the time I got to the intersection, I knew what the problem was. The green light lasted for a shorter amount of time than the yellow light. By the time the first car completes its turn, the light would already be red... so only maybe 3 or 4 cars could get past in one cycle.

Alright so on the SAT there was this analogy and it went CHOLERIC:ANGRY::____:____. Yes, immediately, one thought and only one popped into my mind. You guessed it! Drew!

Oh, right after the SAT, I had five incoming calls from five different people who were at five different places. This all happened between 1:04 and 1:24, and that was some odd coincidence. Good thing I was stuck in a parking lot, or I may have killed myself by hitting things trying to answer the phone several times.

So after I got home, tennis with Charles and Gene and James... I did probably 10 times better in New Orleans with a borrowed racket than with my own here. I don't know why. It doesn't make sense to me.

On the way to Ryan's, some random guys flicked us off so I returned the favor in the usual fashion. Then the guy stuck his leg out the window. Interesting. After we got there, Mexicans liked staring. There was also this half Asian, half white girl whom I thought I saw at the SAT administration site. So Dave gets into a talk about how Asian/white mixes are all really hot. Ai gave one of the quickest replies I've ever heard from her. The speed surprised and almost alarmed me.

Dave: Half Asians are always really hot.
Ai: You know who's the best example of that?
All: Who?
Ai: Wilcox!

OWNED!

Summer school Monday... tomorrow seems like a boring day that I won't like much. By tomorrow, I mean today, Sunday.

It's kind of hot in here. That darned global warming. Hmmm... is that snow I see behind me?

12:50AM

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Friday, June 4, 2004 (10 comments)

Ok I just heard a doorbell and so I went to the door to look. I saw Ai, so I thought it should be harmless to open the door. As soon as I opened the door and before I could say hi, Yuk sticks his head out from behind Ai and I was about to crap my pants. They walked in and Yuk demanded a tour of the house, and I gave a pretty crappy one that included about 15% of the house.

Yuk walked upstairs, and somehow, the only room he walked into was mine. So the two saw my really clean and neat room. Clothes everywhere, and you can barely walk in. So I guess I have to clean it, in case anyone else decides to just walk into my room. Yuk said my room is really gay. It's more or less true, with the gay colors and things that were there when we moved in. I don't care to take any of it down.

This Daniel Cohen from GHP was uh, not that nice. Here was one of the conversations I had with him about five weeks into it, with almost exact wording:

Me: Hey, you've gotten better at ping pong!
Daniel: No, I was ALWAYS this good.

And here is this kid having fun with CiCi:

COOLCOHENS: hey
Pandaface00: hey!
COOLCOHENS: im at the beach with my cousins that go to walton
COOLCOHENS: they claim you said i was weird
Pandaface00: lol
Pandaface00: hahahaha
COOLCOHENS: i see how it is
COOLCOHENS: fucker

So which is more annoying... this kid or Yuk?

6:47PM

So I get on my computer today and see the following:

Eva: DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH DIE BITCH
*** "Eva" signed off at Thu Jun 03 22:32:35 2004.
*** "Eva" signed on at Fri Jun 04 02:44:34 2004.
Eva: die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch die bitch
** "Eva" signed off at Fri Jun 04 02:46:58 2004.

From the time, it looks like she got on the second time solely to tell me/bitch to die. Nope, the contaminated Chinese tap water and/or air has not changed her a bit.

Good job not being gullible, people. Read the Andrew Carlssin article from Yahoo that Pat posted, and then read the SEC statement [link removed; site no longer exists] on this issue. The original article came out of a tabloid, and I think it was an April Fool's joke with the date (Mar 19) set back a bit. True, they can't find records of this guy before December 2002, but the article fails to mention that they can't find records of the guy at any other time, including when he was supposed to have been doing the trading.

While we're on the topic, we all know that there is no Nobel Prize in mathematics. But it's not because his wife cheated with a mathematician, as some of us are inclined to believe. Alfred Nobel was never married.

To summarize, Andrew Carlssin and Mrs. Nobel are both completely fictitious.

Tomorrow's SAT is going to suck. The only math I have done in the past week has been one and two digit addition (like 12+9), while working at Kumon. That job isn't many days out of the week... I'm going to have to go hunt down the Micro Center manager sometime.

Update bookmarks, links, or whatever to this page because its address is now http://icydog.no-ip.com/zhanga.asp. The comment counter requires some kind of programming to work (and ASP is pretty simple) and I can't insert that into an ordinary HTML files.

Anyone want to LAN like Saturday night? I can probably host... there's plenty of room and I have another table now. No beer allowed though.

My mom called just now and got mad at me for going out to eat. She says I need to tell her whenever I'm going somewhere to set an example for my sister. Uh, my sister is in China... I don't get how I could really set any example when she's on the other side of the world.

1:36PM

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Thursday, June 3, 2004 (7 comments)

I stumbled upon this picture today. I'm not sure whether I've shown this to anyone, but anyways, it came into existence at the beginning of the school year.

The camera that took this picture wasn't very good so it's pretty blurry. But you get the idea.

That's Jiang Ze Min, by the way... the former Chinese premier dude. He looks somewhat silly in that attire. No wonder he was ousted from office.

Uh oh, I think I may be facing execution for saying unpatriotic things. Oh well, anyone coming after me can cry like a baby after being owned by my flyswatter. So on to other things...

In New Orleans, I called Vincent's cell a few times and Pat called too, using my phone a few times. Vincent called back saying "Who the hell are you? And why the hell did you call my phone eight times?" He sounded pretty angry. Here is the clip off of my voice mail. (The beginning is the timestamp telling you how early he was up.)

I had some wacky dreams last night. One of them, which our unnamed person from yesterday will be happy to know, was of me watching TV and hearing about global warming causing snow. However, I was watching MTV and the information came from a rapper.

Someone called me last night and I could not tell who it was because the connection quality was so bad. I thought it was Wendy, who was at Ai's house, so I called Ai because it takes me three seconds less to find Ai's number than Wendy's. So Wendy picks up and here's what happened, or something like it:

Wendy: Hello?
Me: Hey, Wendy. Did you call me?
Wendy: Yeah, I called, and then Ai took the phone and you couldn't tell what Ai was saying.

Crap, there were a few more I's and Ai's in there but I forgot where they went... by the way I'm not sure whether I placed I and Ai in the proper positions because I couldn't tell whether Wendy or Ai called and then whether Wendy or Ai took the phone.

#6 on Merriam-Webster's 2004 Top Ten Favorite Words is callipygian.

I Googled, Altavista'd, and Yahooed Weggy Chow (G/A/Y), but nothing good came up.

Here's today's featured error. I have enough of these to last all summer. That doesn't even include the blue screens.. only the "minor" errors.

Yes, let me feed some more paper into my E: drive... hang on...

You know, this is probably what causes 50% of CD drive failures. Idiots sticking things in that shouldn't go there. I mean, your computer is just asking for it if it tells you that your drive is out of paper.

1:46PM

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Wednesday, June 2, 2004 (5 comments)

Today, some weird people made me get up at 9:30 in the morning and then go to the Avenue at like 10:20. Needless to say, no one was there at this hour. Then we wandered around and eventually settled at Coldstone. What kind of weird people go out that early during the summer?? Oh wait, I did. Just for the record, an unnamed person thought it was snowing.

Holy crap! This "Tokyo Breakfast" [link removed; use Google to find another copy] thing (13.5MB Windows Media file; I found it on Shelley's Xanga) is AMAZING. I have said that things own before, but THIS OWNS. Too bad I can't show my grandpa or mom because they won't get it. But otherwise, they'd love it since it makes fun of Japs. And speaking of Japs, my mom went off on another Japanese Demon lecture yesterday while I was eating.

Today's featured error:

I have 41 responses out of 92 for the NHS test email. Come on, lazy people! It's two clicks, just Reply and Send... not that hard.

Let me quote McLeod: "im peeing in the woods right now... how badly does that turn you on" Yes, leave it to her to say these things.

My SAT teacher put nice on the vocab list TWICE... and both times defined it with the definition for niche. Good thing I'm not blindly copying down things. Then one of her other great definitions... saprophyte is defined with two words: "a mushroom."

Ronjon saying hi after 6 days is the same as always. We've almost developed the perfect way to say hi:

ManOfAwesome: youre gay
icydog1: fag
ManOfAwesome: kekeke ^^

http://www.congress.org/congressorg/issues/alert/?alertid=5834001&content_dir=ua_congressorg looks like fun. Whatever... I'm Chinese and they'll just jail me for being a terrorist threat anyways.

I am being forced to post by Wendy. Otherwise, I'd make this a bit more coherent... but oh well.

4:32PM

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Tuesday, June 1, 2004 (4 comments)

Uhhh... I kind of forgot how to type again... but the feeling of my 49 cent keyboard is always good after taking a break for a week.

We were 2nd going into the single elimination playoff rounds... 1, 2, 3 places lost to 14, 15, 16 in the first round. That means we got owned.

I lost my MP3 player (the one Charles lost a while back), which was a good sign to begin our trip. Then Pat and I roomed were put into room 911... but no Boeing came barreling into our window.

I'm going to do some other stuff while I let my typing ability diffuse back into me from the atmosphere of my house.

...

Since I can't connect to my server to post that, I guess I'll keep writing things.

During our playoff round with the 15th place team, we noticed they had at least one flamboyantly homosexual player. He answered a question about Blue's Clues after "Salt, Pepper, Paprika." Then he got a Barbra Streisand question after about the first three beats. Ummm.... yeah. Those are really academic questions too.

We ate food that was too expensive. Everyone ate around $40 (not including tax/tip) for last right's dinner, except I think Dragos ate a bit less. Academic bowl paid for it, though. But all the other dinners were too much. 9.5% tax and 18% gratuity is pretty deadly.

I smell incredible right now. It was so humid, and sweating doesn't even do anything until you walk into an air-conditioned building and freeze. I went through all my shirts about twice because I soaked them so badly.

We played a lot of frisbee, Jason and I played tennis, and Dragos and I played badminton. Fun.

Bourbon Street was fun. Pat picked up some beads. Lots of Drew jokes happened.

I am not going to GT.

hulkychaz: you won't become gay... just... queer... :|

I'll write more when I feel like it.

...

Actually I still can't connect and post anything, so...

On the first or second day, we went to the mall. There was a REALLY old Nintendo or some other console game with two ping pong paddles... I beat a few people then Bobby killed me. Later that day or maybe the next day (I forgot), we went on a bus tour. I think most of us fell asleep. Same thing happened on the steamboat ride after that.

Dragos and I each picked up a light bulb... 1000 watts each. He also took a base with a 480 V capacitor, but couldn't fit it into his luggage case so he couldn't bring it back.

So back to Dragos... Tiffany called Pat and kept asking about Dragos's flubber... everyone had this odd look on their faces and had no idea what was going on, until we realized that Pat called Tiffany and left a message going something like "what is your opinion on Dragos's lover?" So lover = flubber. That was awesome. More people should develop hearing difficulties. And then if they talk like Gene and confuse words, and then they're on painkillers... those are the makings of awesome.

People under halos don't hear things wrong. You lose.

Alright my connection is back up. Posting.

8:28PM

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