Zhanga: May 16, 2004

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Sunday, May 16, 2004 (11 comments)

Idiots should not be allowed to drive SUVs. As I was driving down that big windy hill near the river on Johnson Ferry (just before Riverside), there was this idiot Excursion on my right leading me by a little. The idiot drifts two freaking feet into my lane in about a second, which almost runs me into the median, so I honk and slam the brakes and since it was raining I went skidding. I got out of that while managing to stay in my lane, but this idiot maneuvers brilliantly and swerves. Too bad the idiot didn't swerve hard enough to flip so I could go tell him he got served. But anyways, he swerves hard to the right and almost runs into those poles that separate the right turning lane from the forward moving traffic at the bottom of that hill. So in order to avoid those poles, he swerves again... but by this time all his swerving has caused him to trail behind me so I didn't get to see what happened from there because I was too busy trying to cool off after the adrenaline burst.

The SAT teacher didn't have change and so I was jipped out of $10. AND I won't see her any more, so there goes a good 3 gallons of gas (I won't need to fill up for about another week, and my exponential curve predicts $3.50/gal by then).

I'm going to do Brit Lit until like 1AM again, and then tomorrow I'll probably be late for first period and sleep through all of first period. What can she do to me? Actually, never mind, I never asked that.

Bobby's comment was entertaining, but it does sound like a really bad lie. Eva was busy RCPing anyways. I don't know where Tiffany was, but I'm sure at some point yesterday she was envisioning me in a hot pink tie and awesome pink glasses (yes Bobby, the ones that make me look like what's-her-name which I forgot) with a pelican thrown in there somewhere.

I'm gonna go eat some jiao zi because [insert bad bio reference here like "my amylase needs some action" or something about ATP and electrons]. You know, these awful jokes are going to be my life next year, just as not-as-awful physics jokes carried me through this year. But I still don't know what I'm going to do without two hours of Dutter each day. maybe I'll just hang out in her room every day during lunch and then 7th period and then after school. That should do it.

9:05PM

Sweet. I entered the garage at 11:56PM.

I want to thank everyone who put that together and everyone who came, and especially Wendy. That made my day. Of all places, Hooters? Not exactly my favorite place in the world. But hey, that doesn't make it any less awesome.

Davita sounded surprised to hear that I don't like trashy girls. (??)

8.17 pounds of meat, a watermelon, Coke, Nerds, chocolate-covered strawberries... I got a total of 7 different food items. The meat from Charles (yes, I deliberately avoided "Charles's meat...") will probably last me the shortest amount of time.

I also got a rather odd assortment of other items, including a WWF DVD from Pat, GAP boxers from Mary, etc... and this hose from Wendy. I don't know what to say about those.

Ai's presents were so odd that I'm going to give a whole section to those. The jar of pickles owns, and no more needs to be said. But let's see. "Soothing face conditioner" from Bath & Body Works Men. I know what I'm doing with that. On the back, it says "CAUTION: Flammable. Keep away from flame or high heat..." Anyone doing mission possible next year should find this substance much easier to use as a starter fluid than WD-40 because it will not flow as easily.

The bottom part of this image is her keychain. That keychain (JESUS VIVE EN MI [heart]) is wrong in so many ways. Besides the Jesus, it has fruity-looking hearts on it, AND it has Spanish! It makes me want to shoot myself. So it's now on my ring of keychains that I carry with me. Or it will be, once I wash off those annoying bar codes on the back that never come off.  And then as if the keychain is not enough, she gave me a card with a Bible on the cover and the words "This prayer for your Birthday/Is in my heart all year/May God protect and guide you/His love be ever near" printed on the inside. I was actually kind of surprised that no one got me a Bible.

Since I just read that a second time, I'd like to know why Ai drew the smiley face sideways like this =) instead of right side up... or hey, maybe you just smile sideways (=

When I looked at the ping-pong paddle Erica gave me, I was going to make it my paddle for people who come over because everyone complains about my Chinese paddles being too sticky and not having a long handle, which I expected this to fix. But this one was riggedly sticky and also two-sided, which completely owns. Thank you!! People who play me in that game will now have you to blame.

I tried to put on Morgan's Power Swimr (that is how they spell it), which is a floatation device that you put over your chest and behind your back. Unfortunately, it's for ages 3-6, and although my swimming proficiency is lower than some 3 year olds, I am still bigger. I barely got it around my head, which made me look like a goofy boxer with pads protecting my head.

And then, of course, Yujing's birthday card entitled "Does Birthday Cake Make You Fart" which distinguishes between twelve types of farts. Here's the image for "The Blowtorch":

Everyone's presents totally rocked. Thank you all so much!

I parked so close to CiCi's car that our bumpers were touching (but I didn't feel it). Then Charles parked 2 inches on the other side of CiCi, which pretty much locked her in. Shifting into any gear would have caused her to own one of us.

Ugh nasty. My orange juice tastes like milk. Uhhhhh.........

1:27AM

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