Zhanga: May 2004
Entries have their own pages now. Click the date to see the entry by itself with its comments.
Wednesday, May 26, 2004 (5 comments)
You know what's very interesting? I searched for qwerty on Google images and 1/3 of the first page was porn. I was trying to find a dumb picture of the qwerty keyboard so I would know what keys go where since my keyboard is rigged... but nooo.... just dump a bunch of porn on me. I mean, this is the kind of thing that I would find hard to explain to my mom: "Uhh.. yeah... I was looking for a picture of a keyboard but it gave me porn..." Yeah, believable.
I think I'm going to make fun of Eva every day from now until about a week before she comes back, because I know she'll never read these. Yesssssssssssssss! Which brings me to the next thing, that Chinese DNS servers block all the no-ip sites (like mine). It's lame. But at least that means my dad can't stumble upon my site somehow (for example, if he goes to Yahoo!, searches for "fox iq" and scrolls to #18 or so), which would be extremely bad.
What is this:
Let's go back
Back to the beginning
Back to when the earth, the sun, the stars all aligned
Is Hilary Duff trying to be some kind of idiot astronomer or something? Just quit while you're behind.
Since the day I got my cell phone, idiots whose identities remain a mystery to me have called me a lot. I have noticed that a lot of them live in Conyers. Every week or two, my house gets a call looking for a Carl Brucker, and a few days ago my cell got a call looking for Carl. What the heck. Anyways, here's a list of some of the dumbs who have called me since I got my cell.
404 234 6331
404 297 7971
404 298 3411
404 304 6123
404 361 1225
404 447 7401
404 484 8243
404 914 3386
404 964 0010
678 468 2766
678 476 0569
678 516 5047
678 585 7897
678 755 1549
678 768 3036
678 945 3684
770 331 0037
770 388 7379
770 396 3714
770 475 1078
770 712 2566
770 715 9020
770 760 7243
360 791 1403
504 722 1214
520 371 5014
901 690 3379
919 671 9443
If any look familiar, then please let me know. For some reason, Whore was on this list too, but I caught that when I went through it just now. (Whore = Tricia)
Hmm that reminds me of the time I called her cell, said "hey whore," and then heard a response with a heavy Korean accent that scared the daylights out of me until she started laughing to let me know that no, I did not just address her mom as "whore."
9:25PM
Tuesday, May 25, 2004 (5 comments)
Today I started listening to that song that goes like "I'm a bitch I'm a bitch I'm a bitch" by Meredith Brooks. Guess who told me to download that one? It was none other than... Eva! It's her kind of song =) Too bad she's not there to read that. I actually miss her, believe or not. (That was an adapted quote from Dutter, if you didn't catch it)
My mind has just wandered to the recordings I put on her Xanga a while back that made her really happy. Hmmm... I think I'll go listen to those for entertainment later.
I just finished eating half a watermelon. I ate it a bit too quickly and I feel an urge to throw it all up, but I'd never be able to get over myself if I saw the wastage of watermelon. I'd rather just have my stomach explode and my innards get drenched in watermelon juice.
I just picked a broccoli fragment/shard/shrapnel off of my SAT words folder, which has been downstairs at my computer for a week. Assuming I didn't eat any broccoli for a snack, how did it get here?
Know what's sad? I've gone to school every day this week so far and I'll be going tomorrow as well. Yes, it is sad when a student attends school the week after finals week.
Shelley wants to show me something but refuses to do it over Internet... and I tell her that my mom would object to anyone showing up here (because it would interrupt me studying for SAT grrrr I hate this) and she gives the best response ever. Ingenious:
MsJaneDoe00: How about I show up at your house trying to sell something
Actually, my mom probably hates door-to-door (or just my door) salespeople more than she hates my friends who show up randomly at 10 PM. But oh well, it's ok. I'll just tell my mom that the lady is trying to sell a big dog, at which my mom will cringe with fear and run to a closet at the back of the house. Yes, her fear of dogs is one of the reasons that we don't have a big ownage like Ronjon's dog.
I've concluded that Britney Spears music has gotten worse and worse from the beginning. I hate all her new songs (well... except that one dumb one), and I like more of them as you go back in time. Except Soda Pop, which is one of the worst non-rap songs I've ever heard.
Hmm McLeod says that someone (well, sometwo I guess) had sex in a car at Walton... in it the same person (who has sex in odd places)? Why would you do that at Walton? What if a teacher walks by? "Uhh.. hey Miss Snoddy..."
I wonder who it was.
That was enough for today.
9:49PM
Monday, May 24, 2004 (3 comments)
YES YES YES
I logged on to my dumb screenname today, and pretty soon this guy IM's me. I had this dumb girl's Xanga (the materialization of everything I am against) in my profile, and this comes to me pretty soon... and two hours later, an unprovoked followup:
[20:40:07] xppkresurrection: but
you are hot though
[22:45:18] xppkresurrection: lol ya ur def hot
Yeah he was a bit surprised to find out who I really am, primarily because he goes to our school...
Next time some idiot IMs me saying "yo whats up who r u?" then that idiot can be certain he/she will get the impression that I am some slutty girl. If aforementioned idiot is really annoying, then s/he will be sure to never find out the truth.
Guess what I searched for on Kazaa to get these results? I searched for "windows xp iso." Yes, hot greek arabic girl fucked looks a lot like Windows XP. And what is a hot greek arabic? (SteamInstall/Valve, porn as it may sound, is not... but it still has rather little relevancy to the search terms.)
I think I'll write an article on avoiding spyware and other annoying POS's, since I seem to be pretty good at avoiding these. Gay antivirus vendors should stop charging $50 for a copy of their gay software. They're just allowing gay annoying craps (spyware, viruses, etc) to proliferate at an ever-increasing rate (jerk/non uniform acceleration/what happens to my brain cell loss rate when I listen to Everytime for over 20 hours).
11:17PM
I
saw Dutter today... she gave me a piece of ownage. That's right, a science bowl watch! For the dial,
it has stuff like DNA, Ni, V=IR... the same as what's on the frisbee.
In the morning, I fixed the computers of Wendy and CiCi. CiCi had that fun thing, which Pat probably
remembers, where chkdsk just acts like an idiot, goes to 75%, then resets
to 50%, and keep looping like that. Oh well, rebooting in the middle of a disk repair operation
is always the way to go and that fixed it.
Eva's gone. As she said, it's just not the same if I'm not the one she's annoying. Yeah =(
I woke up a few minutes past 4 AM just as my cell began to ring (from Eva). I thought, "hey, I woke up just as it began to ring! How did that happen?" Yeah so I thought some miracle had happened until I looked at the screen and it said eight missed calls. In addition to the seven I missed from Eva, some not-Eva idiot called me at 3:35, who of course I'll be annoying tonight/next morning.
So I listened to Everytime all last night too... I don't know what it is about that song, which I don't really like that much. Maybe I'm just starting to go a bit/lot loony.
I stumbled across Shelley's Xanga today, and I must conclude that it is by far the most readable and easiest on the eyes of any girl's Xanga that I have ever been to, except maybe Erica's. The only thing I had to know to determine that she's an interesting person is the fact that she has never seen Drew angry and really, really wants to. Umm, yeah, that's a first.
I hate studying for this stupid SAT!!
6:06PM
Sunday, May 23, 2004 (3 comments)
I heard some girl from our school had sex in a Starbucks bathroom. What has the world come to. That's not even a question.
So I listened to dumb Everytime all last night until 12 noon today... yes, that was a brain-draining exercise.
McLeod came to my neighborhood for a few minutes today so I went out to talk to her. Then she took me for a spin when I was supposed to be eating dinner... yes that went very well with my mom when I got back.
Life really blows when your mom shuts you in for several days (which will eventually hit two weeks) and tells you to study for SAT.
10:04PM
A few of you, I'm sure, noticed that this page and maybe the comments page were acting a little funny today. I was trying to make a script that I could use to update this site (especially this page) via the web. I was partly successful... I have to edit two dumb files (this page and the comments page) instead of one, which I was aiming to do by using server-side includes. Didn't work.
But yes, next year when we're in DC, you can expect quick updates of our exploits and ownings.
To make that 2.5 KB script I had to steal about 80 lines of code and "write" 50 more. Interesting,
as I know an amazing two whole commands in ASP, unless you count the if.. then..
else.. end if as four separate statements.
Why are people so annoying!? One of the most annoying things you can do is a silly "prank" which is so dumb that I don't even see how it could be funny, and then act stupid like it never happened. Caller ID, dolt.
4:25PM
Saturday, May 22, 2004 (4 comments)
Yes, my brain is jerking. Initially, this post was a slip-up and wasn't supposed to be posted... but Dragos left a comment so I guess I have to repost it:
Ok.. I just listened to this dumb song for another hour and a half... jeez I can feel the disintegration of brain cells going at a faster and faster rate... (non uniform acceleration)
Uhh, I smell NH4OH again... I think this confirms the brain cell loss.
10:33PM
I don't really feel like posting anything today, but I'll write a few words.
I downloaded and put Everytime on repeat for 45 minutes today. But I bet Ronjon has outdone me with his listening (or watching) of Sweetest Sin, though.
A few days ago, Eva asked me if she could download Everytime from me without even asking if I had it (I didn't). I guess I can't blame her, though. I mean... where else do you go if you can't find some Britney Spears, if not the local guy who listens to girly music that he can easily post on his website?
I did a DNS query on the school grades server's IP block... check this out:
NameServer: ITCHY.MINDSPRING.NET
NameServer: SCRATCHY.MINDSPRING.NET
I tried and failed to make an obscene joke out of that.
I awoke today to the sound of Eiffel 65's Blue, which played when Ai called me at 10:30 and said something about McLeod's graduation party which was at 11. Then I let out a long, loud barrage of Ronjon-talk because I forgot that my mom was like 20 feet away. Oh well. That is made up for by the amazingness of (1) my phone ringing inside my house and (2) the fact that my phone (or anything) woke me up, especially because it rings so softly.
='(
Graduation next year is going to be so awesome and so sucky at the some time.
9:25PM
Friday, May 21, 2004 (1 comment)
I like Ronjon's impression of Dutter and AP Environmental Science. It's funny, but it's really not what happened!
Me: Hey, I'm out of AP sciences to take.
Dutter: Ok, let me make this bogus course.
So I'm looking through all the replies I got from the NHS test email, and people are like "hey email works" and then I get to Yük... "so sexy chinaman!"
Today I wore the awesome hot pink tie. I went to show Tiffany around 1:40, then I went to Borders. I ran into McLeod, who had lost her car keys but the guy behind the counter picked them up and held them. I got a lot of comments on that tie. More even than the shirt I wore on Monday. Anyways, I walked around looking like a loon for 20 minutes because Ai was 20 minutes late to Borders. Then, none of the objectives (aka buying stuff) got completed.
So I then had to leave to get Ronjon, and we sped off to see Dutter and to drop off the list of people taking the best class in the universe, aka AP Environ. Someone needs to come up with an official shortened name for that, maybe "apes" or something.
Next, we had five minutes to get to Kmart, where Bergoo was supposed to show us the way to graduation. Of course, that worked out well because he left before us and and got into a gap in the traffic, so we were stuck about 20 cars behind and never caught up. We then went the wrong way on the loop, and eventually ended up being 10 or 15 minutes late because we tried every locked door on the building's exterior.
Cheshire was kind of angry at the lateness. I think she found the color of the tie to be amusing, but she made me take it off! Aghh, that was annoying as Shieh. So then I put on a black tie and stopped looking flaming =( What a lame teacher. I put it back on as soon as we were about to leave.
She also said "good thing you dropped anatomy," which has some meaning that I'm not familiar with. She was obviously trying to make some sort of joke, but it didn't make any sense to me and she did the usual "never mind" after I made my usual "huh" noise.
Yes, Tiffany has pictures of me wearing pure awesome. I'll eventually get my hands on those pictures and maybe post them because they totally own. Hopefully my dad won't see them, because he's just going to call me gay and retarded.
8:57PM
Thursday, May 20, 2004 (6 comments)
Tiffany has made the most worthless comment I've ever seen on the web. It's the oldest of today's comments. Take a look, then clean up the vomit on your keyboard. I'll admit it was a good try, though.... just not good enough!
<-- I took the geek test as mentioned on Erica's Xanga (it's the first place I saw it). Check out my hardcore steamrolling (I'm trying to avoid "owning") of the first "I KNOW..." section, especially the bottom.
I got to the one about "books on history outside class" and I thought, "haha hell no" and then I remembered.. oh wait... I've read like twenty or thirty 400+ page books about WWII alone. This happened in 8th or 9th grade. I wish I colud have that much free time now. I learned so much more from those books than I did from an equal amount of time spent on any class this year, except physics and maybe calculus.
How does owning (possessing, not raping) "multi-sided dice" make you nerdy? Who owns single-sided dice, anyways? And of all of the choices, I think the one single one (yes, I know it's difficult to pick one) is the "I LIKE TO... do physics in my head."
I got 27.81%, which I was surprised to see is only two points higher than Erica. Three, if you take off the points she unfairly gets for being a girl!
Before I leave, which idiot submitted "3,4,5! yay." as a quote, and put me down as "Your name"? Wait, never mind. Anyone that retarded must be Wilcox. Great, now no one will admit it because I'll have compared him/her to Wilcox.
11:55PM
Oops, I forgot to include something under the thing about Korean music. I meant to say that it wouldn't be so bad if I could understand the Korean, because it's not like I dislike girly music (lol). It's just that I dislike listening to things I don't understand. And on top of that, I often find myself singing along when I listen to things. Imagine the look of horror that would be on my grandpa's face if he caught me singing Korean... jeez he'd probably throw me into the toxic lake in the backyard and laugh as I dissolved.
My grandpa went on one of his longest I-hate-Japan things two days ago. It must have lasted most of an hour. My sister has now been fed anti-Japanese propaganda. I guess it's her fault because she asked my grandpa why he hates Japanese people... which is generally not a good idea unless you have a lot of time to burn.
Speaking of Japanese people, that stupid lady who's renting our house not only ran into the garage door two freaking times, but she also allowed the basement to flood. Some dumb pipe leaked, and it flooded the entire basement... what an idiot! How can you not notice that your basement is being owned until it's totally owned? And then she has the nerve to tell my mom that she feels her health is being endangered by the water. All the carpet in the basement had to be pulled out and put outside to dry... which works real well because of the dry weather. If I were my mom, I'd just be like "move bitch, get out the way if you don't like it here."
I told my mom I need a screwdriver and she's like "Ai yuuuuhh, I don't want to talk to that idiot Japanese Demon!" But then there was no other choice, so my mom put on this huge grin and tells me "make sure you smile a lot when you see her!" and she stops laughing just as the lady opens the door.
I don't know if their communication skills have improved or what, because it only took them an average of two tries to say things to each other today. In the past it's usually been between four and six tries. Not as comical =(
Ms. Boyd told me that she "enjoyed having you in my class! Especially when you were awake!" lol ahhh how do I tell her I didn't mean to most of the time?
Spams of the day: SEXUALLY-EXPLICIT: There's a slut on your desk... and SEXUALLY-EXPLICIT: She's stripping on your desk! Maybe I should make a spam of the day page. I mean, there's gotta be at least one really good one each day out of 200.
Looks like I failed in my objective of getting Ronjon to take physics. It seems like you'd be at least competent at understanding it, but I guess the math might own you. But it's Dutter!! You have to take it!
So CiCi & Ai, we're shopping for her tomorrow, right? I'll call you two. My mom better give me some money.
The highlights from the AP Language exam include an answer choice that was crap I can't discuss these especially not online. I can't even talk about the FR questions, but I don't think it said I can't talk about my response. So on the essay that didn't ask for an analysis, I said muckrakers are good and wrote about The Jungle. Here's the only good part of any of my three essays, as well as I can remember it:
....
Let's take a moment to think about what life would be like if there were no muckrakers. Actually,
let's not, because I'm not really interested in vomiting all over my essay (coincidentally, that
would look kind of like sausage).
....
I hope I have convinced you that muckrakers are essential to our society. If you need further convincing,
feel free to call me and I'll make you some sausage.
I hope Bryan likes the personal style there, because if that doesn't get a mark for some kind of style, then I think I'll just kill myself right now, or eat some sausage.
5:55PM
Wednesday, May 19, 2004 (12 comments)
Since Pat now keeps a count of how often I mention this person and that, for each time I mention anyone I'll have to mention everyone else. Or, I'll just not write anything in here at all. Maybe I'll just make a list of names of everyone at Walton plus everyone else I know and just append it at the bottom of everything I say from now on.
I also have been barred from saying "good luck to everyone on their finals" so I won't say that.
Next person who makes up things about me and tells the world I said it will be eating a can of my grandpa's fart as well as all my pickle juice. Machine Gun (#4 or 5 I think) style.
I forgot to post the final Dutterism of the school year (well... probably not final) from yesterday. The count is at 55 for this school year. Let's see if she'll break 200 by the time she retires... lol
Whoa, 55 is more that even Charles. This is just one more reason why Dutter owns and why you should take physics.
Ok, I've been meaning to do this for a while, so I'll do it now. My review of physics... which will probably clash with other people's:
The highlight of AP Physics with Dutter... is Dutter. The number one reason to take it is so you can have an awesome teacher, who I'll admit was disliked by a lot of people at the beginning of the year. I don't really know how much people didn't like her, because all I'd say when someone started complaining was "DUTTER OWNS!!" so there was really no point talking to me about that. People liked her more second semester.
The fact that I enjoyed Dutter more than the class doesn't mean I didn't like the class. It just means I like Dutter more than a lot of things. Anyways, I like physics a lot (duh). There is a lot to be learned in her class, and no, I have never taken a physics course before like some thought, so I learned it all from Dutter during class. She's not a bad teacher as I have heard some say. You just have to be sure to listen to her when she's teaching because she won't go through new stuff a second time... which leaves you pretty screwed if you didn't listen the first time.
The work load is not insane, and it's definitely a lot less than chem or AP Lang. There's homework like half the nights, when there's maybe ten problems which really aren't that hard. Yes, some test questions are a lot harder than the homework... but even if you miss the ridiculous ones, you can still end up with a good grade because she square roots everything, and on top of that, her tests are graded out of 100 but the actual number of possible points may reach beyond 150 (which does indicate their slight difficulty). I have no idea how long most people spend studying for these tests, but if I did the homework decently, then studying during class change was workable. It's not like history where there's tons of information. You have to know a maximum of maybe six formulas for a single test, and one or two important concepts. You can figure out anything else you need to know from that handful.
I see physics as a class where you have to know the concepts at least as well as the formulas to get things right. If you can picture things happening, and you can get an idea of what will happen if you increase the force and decrease the mass, then you'll be fine. Just memorizing formulas will not get you past chapter 3, I promise. But if it makes sense to you, then the class will be a breeze.
Proficiency in algebra is essential, but not in calculus. You've gotta be able to integrate and differentiate polynomials (wow really hard), but you can just pretend to understand her when she's integrating six-variable insanity, which, she'll be disappointed to hear, is what I did. It is nice to know how to do those though, because that means there are less formulas you have to memorize (you can just derive them).
So the last thing is, why you should not take AP Physics. If you show any of these symptoms, please get rid of that class immediately. I am being totally honest and serious here:
- She hates people who act stupid ("stupid" includes saying that you hate science, etc) - I'll leave it at that.
- If you're taking it just for the AP point, then you must be the biggest moron that has ever existed. There were like 4 A's out of two classes this semester, so don't expect a good grade just for showing up.
- Forgetting chapter 2 the day after the test - you have to remember everything that has ever been covered or you'll fail. Well, there's a few things you can forget, but only a few.
Far more so than any other class I've ever taken, AP Physics with Mrs. Dutter is a class that you should take if and only if you are interested in science, especially physics. If not, then you will not enjoy the class. I know teachers always give this routine to prospective students, but I think it is especially true for physics. So in short, take it if you're interested in the subject, and don't take it expecting a good grade. Dumb has a 68, and he's really not that Dumb.
Whoa that was long. On to other stuff now.
Tiffany convinced me to download a Korean song. But I'm proud to say that I shift-deleted it after listening to 45 seconds of it. I could only tell it was Korean after 35 seconds (it really sounded like English), so it was only like 10 seconds of Conscious Korean Exposure (CKE) =) I then successfully resisted further attempts at infecting my computer.
Why is it unexcused but inexcusable? I hate English.
I already miss McLeod and I haven't seen her for what, five days? What will I do!? Yes I know... what will I ever do without someone telling me I have short stubby arms every day? Nooooo!!! ='(
Umm if anyone would like to tell me when and where the AP Language exam is tomorrow... that would be nice.
2:54PM
Tuesday, May 18, 2004 (7 comments)
What an idiot. I got a 100 on my last Brit Lit thing and I didn't do the longest poem.
Everyone's assignment: convince Ronjon to take physics because his life will never be complete without a megadose of Dutter. Dropping physics for a dumb environmental science class is only for Gays!
So as Gene said in his comment, why did I have today's post labeled at Sunday the 18th? I guess I looked at the last post and decided the day after Monday is Sunday. See, my mind doesn't function in the morning. Maybe this is why my grade in Bryan's class is so hardcorely awesome.
While I was in Mrs. Dutter's room today, she asked me if I found a job and so I told her what's going on so far. She also offered me $10/hour for doing her webpage, but I'd' feel bad eating her money. I'd probably not do a good job anyways. And now I realized my biggest mistake: I DIDN'T ASK WHERE HER WEBPAGE IS!!!!! AHH!!!
But anyways, I took the opportunity to show her the quotes from science bowl, which for some reason she hasn't seen yet. Here's her comments in no real order:
- Did I really say that?? (#3)
- Who is his chemistry teacher again? (#5)
- Is this something you can click on? Ah! hahahahaha!! (#19)
- Did you ever get those nametags? (#21)
This also happened:
Dutter: There are some things that you really shouldn't show me.
Me, feigning innocence: Like what?
Dutter, scrolling around: Well... let's start from the bottom and
work our way up.
I wasn't able to come up with much of a response to this:
Dutter: You guys use four-letter words too much.
Me: Uhhh.....
I went with my grandpa, sister, and mom to eat out today at this Chinese place. Someone has to take a point off my unculturedness counter because I could actually tell that they were playing an instrumental version of Yesterday.
8:09PM
Yesterday, I fell asleep at 5:30, which is just after I came home. I was woken up violently (well, there's no other way) three or four times by my grandpa and mom, but I went back to sleep and eventually woke up at 6:20 AM. That's longer than I sleep on some weekends. I feel so refreshed right now, but I'm still sleepy and ready to fall asleep at any moment. For example, if I was given a chemistry test right now, I'd be gone after the first problem.
Yesterday instead of going to some classes, I went bowling with Ronjon and Eva. I was just going to go on a date with Ronjon since he enjoys that kind of thing with guys, but Eva started whining and demanded that I pick her up. Wonder if she got in trouble. Anyways, I didn't eat any lunch, then I got home and didn't eat dinner because I was asleep. I did have a bao zi in the morning for breakfast, though.
So in the shower this morning, I was trying to make myself feel hungry so I could go downstairs and eat a lot to make up for what I didn't eat. Eventually I decided that I'm either anorexic or have some unknown stomach problem. I threw out the anorexic idea pretty quickly. After deciding that I can't make myself hungry, I realized that I ate a bunch of pizza in the afternoon in Ms. McWilliams's room...
I guess I was too busy thinking in the shower to actually shower. When I stepped out, I felt my head, and had to step back in because I hadn't shampooed. Believe it or not, I've never done that before.
I picked up an application from Micro Center yesterday just before bowling. Anyone wanna keep me company there, where I'll hopefully be accepted? Their cashiers make $8/hr, by the way. I'd do that, except I'm not friendly enough. I'd much rather do more interesting things also.
Tricia gave me another Christian card. I can now break down what I've gotten into six main categories, in order:
- Food
- Food
- Food
- Chomp chomp chomp
- Things you'd find at a Wyoming garage sale because they're so random
- I love Jesus
I was going to take care of that watermelon last night, but I slept instead. So it's not even opened yet. I'll finish it today then.
Ok so now it's time for the funny lady story. But first, Gene and I were walking out of Snoddy's room, where Ai was talking to me about 1 minute before we left. Then as we left, we both thought we saw Ai in there. As we passed the front of the media center, I thought that someone standing there looked sorta like Ai, and then Gene turned around and so did I. I almost fell over when I saw that it was her, and both Gene and I had a look of "hey you can do the Dutter teleportation too?" Odd.
So on to the funny lady story. There was this dumb lady guarding the lunch room door (she got there after we had entered), and Gene and I were trying to get out. We were just in there to turn in the green things to PPO. I don't remember it exactly, but it was like this:
Lady: Hey! Hey! HEY! Come back here! Do you guys have a pass?
Me: No, but we were just here to turn in the green forms to PPO and
now we're going back.
Lady: Well you need a pass.
Me: Oh.
Lady: Where are you two supposed to be right now?
Me: Nowhere, really.
Lady: Don't you have class?
Gene: Not really. We have class but we sorta don't.
Lady: So where are you going?
Gene: To class.
Lady: So you DO have class!
Me: We have all AP classes so we don't really have class.
Gene: Yeah we don't have class but we do have class sorta but we don't
actually because it's not really class but class isn't doing anything so we can do whatever in class
or not in class the teacher doesn't care but we're going back to class except it's not really class
because the AP exams are over and class is not really class anymore.
Lady, with a confused look: Have a pass next time.
[Next guy in line steps up]
Lady, with a grin: Do YOU have a good story?!!
We will henceforth refer to Gene line #3 as "Gene's class soliloquy." It is a soliloquy because no one was listening after the first few words.
I can't believe my mom's making me go to school. I mean, some teachers have already said bye have a nice summer. What's the point of showing up? Maybe if I just randomly show up at someone's house it'll be ok.
And by the way, my birthday's today, in case anyone still thinks it was three days ago.
7:47AM
Monday, May 17, 2004 (4 comments)
So
Ai, it looks like I have plenty of these. What the heck am I going to do with a pound of
pickles... wanna split them and have a speed contest?
So let's see. Half a pound each of Gobstoppers and Nerds, a pound of pickles, 8.17 pounds of pig, 10 or so pounds of watermelon, like 3 pounds of chocolate-covered strawberries, a quarter pound of lollipop, 9.6 pounds of Coke... by the end of this week, I'm going to have the shape of a watermelon and the size of a refrigerator.
So... I just almost made the biggest fool of myself. Holy crap. An hour ago, my mom walked downstairs and sat down at the desk next to me and got on her computer. So after a while I began wondering why she's been so quiet all this time and not asking me what I'm doing.
Well, I turned my head 30 degrees to get a better view... and... wtf, that's not my mom. It's this girl who's here but I don't have any idea as to why. It would have been really awesome if I had called her mom, turned around to look, and then walked away with a bright red face.
I asked my mom (this is actually my mom) for a tie and so she gave me this tie which extends a whole foot below my neck and is 1.5 inches wide at the wide end. It's ridiculous. I don't know what I was supposed to do with that tie, except use it as a strangulation device when Wilcox decides to pull his next brilliant stunt, which will probably involve a a broomstick, C4, and my jar of pickles, resulting in a loss of pickle and an extremely angry David. I wonder if that tie will go all the way around his neck.
I really do not want to do this busy work. Why have we been assigned busy work after the AP exam? This is so gay!
12:31PM
Sunday, May 16, 2004 (11 comments)
Idiots should not be allowed to drive SUVs. As I was driving down that big windy hill near the river on Johnson Ferry (just before Riverside), there was this idiot Excursion on my right leading me by a little. The idiot drifts two freaking feet into my lane in about a second, which almost runs me into the median, so I honk and slam the brakes and since it was raining I went skidding. I got out of that while managing to stay in my lane, but this idiot maneuvers brilliantly and swerves. Too bad the idiot didn't swerve hard enough to flip so I could go tell him he got served. But anyways, he swerves hard to the right and almost runs into those poles that separate the right turning lane from the forward moving traffic at the bottom of that hill. So in order to avoid those poles, he swerves again... but by this time all his swerving has caused him to trail behind me so I didn't get to see what happened from there because I was too busy trying to cool off after the adrenaline burst.
The SAT teacher didn't have change and so I was jipped out of $10. AND I won't see her any more, so there goes a good 3 gallons of gas (I won't need to fill up for about another week, and my exponential curve predicts $3.50/gal by then).
I'm going to do Brit Lit until like 1AM again, and then tomorrow I'll probably be late for first period and sleep through all of first period. What can she do to me? Actually, never mind, I never asked that.
Bobby's comment was entertaining, but it does sound like a really bad lie. Eva was busy RCPing anyways. I don't know where Tiffany was, but I'm sure at some point yesterday she was envisioning me in a hot pink tie and awesome pink glasses (yes Bobby, the ones that make me look like what's-her-name which I forgot) with a pelican thrown in there somewhere.
I'm gonna go eat some jiao zi because [insert bad bio reference here like "my amylase needs some action" or something about ATP and electrons]. You know, these awful jokes are going to be my life next year, just as not-as-awful physics jokes carried me through this year. But I still don't know what I'm going to do without two hours of Dutter each day. maybe I'll just hang out in her room every day during lunch and then 7th period and then after school. That should do it.
9:05PM
Sweet. I entered the garage at 11:56PM.
I want to thank everyone who put that together and everyone who came, and especially Wendy. That made my day. Of all places, Hooters? Not exactly my favorite place in the world. But hey, that doesn't make it any less awesome.
Davita sounded surprised to hear that I don't like trashy girls. (??)
8.17
pounds of meat, a watermelon, Coke, Nerds, chocolate-covered strawberries... I got a total of 7
different food items. The meat from Charles (yes, I deliberately avoided "Charles's meat...") will
probably last me the shortest amount of time.
I also got a rather odd assortment of other items, including a WWF DVD from Pat, GAP boxers from Mary, etc... and this hose from Wendy. I don't know what to say about those.
Ai's presents were so odd that I'm going to give a whole section to those. The jar of pickles owns, and no more needs to be said. But let's see. "Soothing face conditioner" from Bath & Body Works Men. I know what I'm doing with that. On the back, it says "CAUTION: Flammable. Keep away from flame or high heat..." Anyone doing mission possible next year should find this substance much easier to use as a starter fluid than WD-40 because it will not flow as easily.
The bottom part of this image is her keychain. That keychain (JESUS VIVE EN MI [heart]) is wrong in so many ways. Besides the Jesus, it has fruity-looking hearts on it, AND it has Spanish! It makes me want to shoot myself. So it's now on my ring of keychains that I carry with me. Or it will be, once I wash off those annoying bar codes on the back that never come off. And then as if the keychain is not enough, she gave me a card with a Bible on the cover and the words "This prayer for your Birthday/Is in my heart all year/May God protect and guide you/His love be ever near" printed on the inside. I was actually kind of surprised that no one got me a Bible.
Since I just read that a second time, I'd like to know why Ai drew the smiley face sideways like this =) instead of right side up... or hey, maybe you just smile sideways (=
When I looked at the ping-pong paddle Erica gave me, I was going to make it my paddle for people who come over because everyone complains about my Chinese paddles being too sticky and not having a long handle, which I expected this to fix. But this one was riggedly sticky and also two-sided, which completely owns. Thank you!! People who play me in that game will now have you to blame.
I tried to put on Morgan's Power Swimr (that is how they spell it), which is a floatation device that you put over your chest and behind your back. Unfortunately, it's for ages 3-6, and although my swimming proficiency is lower than some 3 year olds, I am still bigger. I barely got it around my head, which made me look like a goofy boxer with pads protecting my head.
And then, of course, Yujing's birthday card entitled "Does Birthday Cake Make You Fart" which distinguishes between twelve types of farts. Here's the image for "The Blowtorch":
Everyone's presents totally rocked. Thank you all so much!
I parked so close to CiCi's car that our bumpers were touching (but I didn't feel it). Then Charles parked 2 inches on the other side of CiCi, which pretty much locked her in. Shifting into any gear would have caused her to own one of us.
Ugh nasty. My orange juice tastes like milk. Uhhhhh.........
1:27AM
Friday, May 14, 2004 (7 comments)
So if you agree with Charles and think that grapefruit cannot do damage to car paint... think again.
Sources: http://www.elmhurst.edu/~chm/vchembook/190acidrain.html, http://www.iclei.org/EFACTS/ACIDRAIN.HTM [link removed], http://www.moderncarcare.com/Articles/161deta2.html, http://www.geocities.com/baja/dunes/1240/myvair.htm.
Acid rain is usually around pH 4 and as low as 2.6:
Water droplets collected from the base of clouds in the Eastern U.S. during the summer have an average pH of 3.6, with some values as low as pH 2.6.
This is used as an example of an extreme low:
In some regions of New York State, rain with a pH of 2.6 has been measured.
Cars can take a lot of damage from acid rain. I've read that a blue car had green splotches after a rainstorm in New Jersey. Here's what else happens:
They [bugs] can add a dent or a hole wherever they happen to be and etch a hole into the clear coat, just like acid rain.
The paint is atrocious -- DC-area acid rain has completely eaten away the mid-eighties respray[...]
DC acid rain pH is >2.6 because that's the low, recorded in NY... and grapefruit pH is around 3 (2.9-3.3 is the usually cited value). So I think it's capable of eating away quite a bit of paint. Don't forget about the quality of construction of my car.
So next time you decide to be a total freaking idiot, remember that you may have to pay a lot of money to get things fixed. Actually, if you're that stupid, you must be Wilcox and the easier solution is to just die right now.
And while I was at these sites, I found the best chem question ever, beginning "If the pH of grapefruit juice is 3 (pH = 3), and the pH of beer is 5 (pH = 5), calculate..."
Oh, and Charles. Han di and I were on the topic of cheating... so naturally you came up. Let me quote her advice for you: "我如果是他，我就去撞墙！或者去跳楼！" ("If I were him, I'd run into the wall! Or jump off a building!") Now that bears an uncanny resemblance to something I'd say... like slam your head against the wall multiple times? Well Charles, don't make too big of a hole in your wall.
11:24PM
Today sucked because I got so bored at school. I just wanted to leave.
During one period we went to Snoddy's room to cover her walls with Zoom into Science posters. We managed to get eighteen posters along the top of her walls, one on the flagpole, and one on the TV before she noticed. She flipped, but didn't socialistically order us to take them down. Then Gene put one on the overhead projection screen... I tried to distract her but she noticed when he rolled it up really loudly.
Juice club meeting sucked. The only good part was when I owned some disgusting juice. I thought plum juice would be a lot better. Then the coconut stuff was so bad that I actually spit it out. Yes, I wasted juice. It was so nasty though!
Oh I almost forgot. Dumb Wilcox threw a piece of a grapefruit at my car and it exploded acid all over my car. I tried forcing him to give money for a car wash, but he said he'd clean it, which didn't happen. I had to go home and hose it.
Congrats to the tennis people.
7:14PM
Thursday, May 13, 2004 (5 comments)
Dude. Just when I thought gay spams were retreating, I find this piece of literature:
Satisfy your dad for only $29.95!
Then after I found that, I got called a " korean evanian slut." Ouch.
My sister picked up a piece of paper and handed it to me... and she said "I squished an ant on this paper." I laughed so hard for like 5 minutes after that. There was this little dead ant smeared across the bottom of the paper. My sister's just like me!
I have concluded that Charles has had too many brain cells eaten away by my favorite teacher.
11:19PM
Here is the title of a page I stumbled across:
Important Who Let The Dogs Out Lyrics Resources
Antithesis! Ms. Bryan is going to love my analysis of everything when she eventually winds up here.
Today was an awesome day. Until McLeod told me that all of our AP Physics scores may be invalidated! Based on what I hear from her, a named person heard an answer during the break after the multiple choice, and then he changed his answer for some multiple choice question. Then during physics, he tells the class and the teacher that this happened. VERY brilliant, damnit. If I have to take this again, I'm going to be really pissed.
I hate people. So, back to why today was an awesome day.
In the morning, I went to do the chemistry room to mess with people (people, not Pepple). I got yelled at because I wasn't supposed to be giving Ronjon answers. Oops. So then after giving other people answers and harassing Eva, I went to Dutter's room for class. Class consisted of me and that Japanese (maybe) guy, who was taking a quiz on the computer. So I took out a Judge and started playing with it around 11:40.
By 3 PM, I had both Judges working. That means eight locking buzzers on each machine. The only things we need now are three light bulbs for the ones that blew out. Sweet! That means the science bowl team can steal the $1000 instead of using it on a Judge.
Then Ms. Dutter tried making me install a big SCSI card into a little computer which was an inch shorter than the card. And then when I looked at device manager, there were ten (10) different SCSI/RAID devices with software installed (none were actually there).
I don't like gossip going around about me... especially this month's round of news. At least don't post it all over your freaking Xanga! Ahhhhh I hate people.
(But, I find this funny) Some people must have been really bored to have nothing better
to talk about than this:
wendy0428: i heard you wore a striped polo the other day?!
I mean... lol at least talk about how bad my hair was that day, or something more interesting like how I (accidentally!) killed my fish.
5:38PM
Wednesday, May 12, 2004 (3 comments)
For those of you who look forward to AP Chem next year... check out my notes for qualitative analysis (the other side is just elimination/crossing-out tables):
Yes, it's a mess... but whatever. Most people just copied her notes, which I obviously don't find to my liking (or I would have copied them too).
I managed to finish today... first three were easy and the last one was gay. Once again, all I can smell is ammonia (especially if I'm in the shower)... but now I can also see nitric acid fuming above a dish of halide solution. I'm going to have dreams of taking a bath in that stuff, I swear.
I poured some NaOH on myself and I joked that I dumped concentrated sulfuric acid on myself to neutralize it... Ms. Pepple turns around, goes "WHAAAATT???" and puts on a face of death.
So I heard that Ms. Bryan is getting/has gotten a Xanga. Who told her how this thing works? Who is the traitor who showed her how to sign up? I'm going to kill someone!
My stupid {)!@*$ keylock broke on like the third day of having this phone. I'm considering going to the store just for that. Oh the plus side, I have free internet for two months now, so I'm going to be downloading a few megabytes of ring tones.
After I woke up from my nap a little while ago, I breathed in... and I smelled the delicious fumes of ammonia. I think my nose is extremely owned from too many whiffs of that stuff. Ever poured ammonia into a cut? That's good too.
10:06PM
Tuesday, May 11, 2004 (3 comments)
Oops, if you read this earlier and couldn't tell who it was... I forgot to mention that this is none other than Ms. Bryan.
innocencewit0nus: asked about xangas
innocencewit0nus: and how to register to get some
innocencewit0nus: cause apparently
innocencewit0nus: she wants the class of next yr to get them so she can
read up on their summer reading
innocencewit0nus: like, she wants to use it as a classroom tool or w.e
[Insert Ronjon comments here] Uhh, yeah that's bad... so everyone get ready to censor all your stuff.
11:56PM
Wow, Ms. Pepple just got nicer (is that possible?). She took off 4 (yes, four) points for not having... a CONCLUSION on my lab.
Who actually reads these?
[x] Fave country to go to?: China
[x] Are there people you won't reply to?: yes, bots (wait those aren't people)
[x] Favorite Pajamas: no
[x] Favorite City(s): no
[x] Favorite Plush: huh
[x] Favorite Magazine: pop sci
[x] Favorite sound: massive toilet flush
[x] Favorite Nickname: no (or Davie lol)
[x] Favorite shoes: I don't own like 900 pairs of shoes
[x] What time do you go to bed on weekdays: it was like 2, but hopefully now it'll become more like
12 (maybe even 11)
[x] Most romantic moment in your life: hmm... lol
[x] Most embarrassing moment of your life: well it was embarrassing enough that I shouldn't be telling
[x] You spend your time rather inside or outside: mix of both... right now I feel like going out
[x] Your Breakfast: BAO ZI!!
[x] What do you really dislike to eat: I hate eating shit, eating dust, and eating earthworms...
but I hate mango too
[x] Laugh or dream: laugh in my dream
[x] Serious or funny: funny
[x] Fast or slow: fast
[x] You prefer being alone or having a relationship: i love to be alone because I'm antisocial and
like to read quantum physics books in my spare time and then pretend to know complicated things
and say calculus is easy when I'm actually only in geometry and then when Pepple tells me to respect
God I'll just tell her "oh puhLEEEAAse!!" (I'm making fun of Haddad if you couldn't tell)
[x] Simple or Complicated: complicated keeps me from falling asleep
[x] Cremate or Buried when dead: I cease caring once I'm dead
[x] Sex or alcohol: sex (now I feel like Gene)
[x] Stay up late or go to bed early: stay up late
[x] Light or dark?: dark
[x] Speak or Silence: speaking like constantly = annoying, but silence is bad too
[x] tall or small girls/boys: small
[x] Newspaper: not really
[x] Hug or kiss: hug
[x] Happy or Sad: happy
[x] Life or Death: being with the Devil would be death, both literally and figuratively
[x] Gig or Disco:
[x] Sausages on top, or on the side: top
[x] What would you ask God if you could ask him 1 single question: I like Pat's answer - can you
forget that i was wrong about you?
[x] When you die, what will be your last word: OWNED
[x] What is the thing you can't stand: Devil
[x] Are you an emotional person: sometimes I'm just too sleepy to react to things
[x] What was the promise you made to yourself at New Years Eve: be nice to people
[x] What is the most beautiful part on the female body: above the neck
[x] Most original place to ask your lover to marry you: I don't think about these things
[x] What super power do you wish to have: fly
[x] Want to be: eating
[x] Age you wish you were: 7
[x] Have a favorite quote: i think i had one but it's not favorite enough that i remember
[x] Do you live in the moment: i try not to
[x] Do you consider yourself tolerant of others: some people
[x] Do you have any secrets: yeah
[x] What is the compliment you get most from people: "wow you're so smart maybe you can do this
for me: 2x+1=3"
[x] If a movie were made about your life, what would it be called: The Devil Strikes Back
[X] Can you sing? You mean kill ears with noise?
[x] Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool: not "just to look cool"
[x] Are you a loner: refer to "You prefer being alone or having a relationship" above
[x] Are you a daredevil: seldom
[x] Are you passive or aggressive: passive when i'm sleepy, aggressive after Devil has woken me
up
[x] Have you got a question: i always have Questions... (Question Quigley!)
[x] What is your greatest strength and weakness: this is one of those gay GHP questions
[x] There are three wells, love, beauty and creativity, which one do you choose: creativity
[x] What is the fictional character you're most like: hahah Question Quigley but not really... dunno
[x] Do people know how you feel: Gene usually comes close
[x] Are you perceived wrongly: don't think so
[x] Pray: all the time
[x] Go to church: all the time
[x] Talk to strangers who IM you: i try to annoy the crap out of them
[x] Sleep with stuffed animals: my pillow
[x] Take walks in the rain: yes i love getting wet for no reason
[x] Talk to people even though you hate them: lol (yes)
[x] Drive: and hit things... almost got 4 birds today
[x] Like to drive fast: yes since my car can go really fast
[x] Been out of the country: no, i teleported here immediately after I was born
[x] Eaten something that made other people sick: WASABI! actually sick? well Coke has killed people
before...
[x] Burped: no, I've never burped in my life
[x] Been unfaithful: ok I actually haven't done this (as opposed to burping)
[x] Ever had a surgery? hopefully never will
[x] Ever been picked on: elem and middle school
[x] Ever pulled an all-nighter?: a few times
[x] If yes, what is your record: 30 hours? dunno
[x] Ever gone one day without food?: you kidding? I haven't gone a day without MEAT!
[x] Ever talked on the phone all night?: lol no
[x] Ever slept all day?: not all day
[x] Thought you're going crazy?: yeah, seriously
[x] Ever been betrayed?: many times
[x] Had a dream that came true?: I hate you Pat ("yea. this reminds me of that gay song that david
likes. never had a dream come true by sclub 7 i believe") anyways, yeah I have
[x] Have you ever killed an animal by accident?: probably... but hundreds of bugs on purpose.
[x] Been in a mosh-pit?: no
[x] Had a nervous breakdown?: no
[x] Believe in miracles?: no
[x] Believe in astrology?: no
[x] Believe in magic?: no
[x] Believe in luck?: depends how you define luck
[x] Believe in Yin and Yang: no
[x] Believe it's possible to remain faithful forever: oh I will
[x] Do you wish on stars?: no
[x] Do you remember your first love?: yes
[x] Still love him/her: hmm
[x] Do you consider love a mistake: often
[x] What do you find romantic?: dunno
[x] What are your turn-ons?: things
[x] What are your turn-offs?: whorey, skanky, etc. and stuff like being too aesthetic
[x] Do you base your judgment on looks alone: no
[x] If someone you had no interest in dating expressed interest in dating you, how would you feel:
depends if "no interest" is negative interest... if not, then I dunno
[x] Whats your favorite weather?: snow
[x] Are you stupid?: yes and it always hits a bottom after I make a stupid mistake and/or Dragos
reminds me how stupid I am
[x] Do you taste good?: never tried... want a sample?
[x] Do you put out carrots for Rudolph?: idiot
[x] Are you the cookie or the milk?: so, do I get eaten or dipped into? dunno
[x] Are you an evil prep-whore?: I'm only occasionally evil
[x] Apple or Mango?: apple
[x] Did you die of basil poisoning?: I died of Busy Work poisoning
[x] Have you ever had a serious relationship?: for a yes/no answer, yes
[x] Have you ever made out with a guy?: every night
[x] Have you ever made out with a girl?: yes
[x] Have you ever been arrested?: no
[x] Are you rich?: no, not me... but we do live in east cobb
[x] Are you sure?: yes i do live here
[x] Are you obsessed with any colors?: no
[x] Pop Tart?: ownage
[x] Have you ever been in love?: maybe
[x] Are you the woman half of yourself, or the man half?: can't I be a whole??
[x] Are you going to have surgery for that?: ugh
[x] If you could go to any planet in the universe, which one would you go to and why?: traveling
through large amounts of interplanetary radiation must suck (that means Earth)
Why did I fill that out? I promise that's the last one I'll do for at least a month because it's such a waste.
Ok so now the Eva story.
Apparently she pulled some prank to Akbar a while ago and he's looking to get even. His cousins tell her Sunday night that he's in the hospital because of a drunk driver, and so she gets concerned (well, who else would she buf every night?). So she asks for visiting hours, where the hospital is, etc. Of course I'm the one who offers to take her there... haha but there's a complication.
Akbar has first period with her and he won't skip. So I take Eva to school on Monday morning. This is even better than planned, because I told her I'd go to look at the burned trailer, and she asked me to pick her up. Setting yourself up is always good. So Akbar wears a shirt that says Eva Wei you got Punk'd or something like that... I didn't really get a good view of it because I was laughing too hard. He walks into Harrison's room, where Eva has already settled. She looks surprised to see him, and I was waiting for the violence to begin.
I had armed myself with a pair of cameras, a digital and a conventional disposable. I used the digital because I wanted to be able to retrieve the image quickly... but unfortunately, I had forgotten about its 4-5 second delay between pushing the button and the picture being taken. So I didn't get a very good image. I should have used the spring-loaded, instant-action disposable because then I could have wound the thing and shot two or three pictures in the same time it took that gay old digital to get that one.
Further contributing to image quality loss was the teacher. She doesn't really like violence, so once it started (and just after I pushed the button on my camera), she got really angry and yelled "WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!?!" That scared me and I quickly left the building.
I heard that the number of kicks from Eva to Akbar that day exceeded 30, and the number of slaps was only marginally less. Akbar told me that she bit him three times on the neck, and he pointed to an area below his belt where Eva bit him. He was pretty much pointing at his balls.
I also heard that later in the day she gave him nine long hugs and then they stayed around at school till 5:30. If only life was as easy for me as it apparently is for Akbar.
Oddly enough, when I called that afternoon to ask if I'm still picking her up to go to the hospital to see Akbar (lol), she was with Akbar in the school auditorium at the time. All she said to me was a really loud, shrill "FUCK YOU, I FUCKING HATE ---, FUCKER!" The --- is untypable because it was an odd combination of "HIM" and "YOU," and this was confirmed by Akbar.
Yeah, sure she hates "HIM." That's why she "bit" his balls.
;-)
6:52PM
Monday, May 10, 2004 (5 comments)
Hey Ronjon, I turned on my speakers today and as I turned them on, Sweetest Sin was just beginning to play... hahahah
I love freaking impossible physics tests. I got FR #3a on mech I think, and then missed all of the rest of that. Then on emag, I died on both the multiple choice and free response. I got maybe 25 MC and 1 FR correct. This is really good.
I was also the only one in there for the last 45 minutes. There was another girl in there for the 45 minutes before the last 45 minutes, because she came late or something and had to do the multiple choice. Yeah so sitting there alone with like 5 proctors was really fun.
I got my GCSU bottle back... it smelled like rotten feet after three weeks of not washing them. Ugh it was terrible. I was going to Clorox it until I saw the warnings on the back that looked similar to those on the can of lye. So I shook it really hard about 15 times with soap and water, and it still smells and has a residue on the sides. Ahhh what do I do??
I have a WAP server set up... so if you want to download ringtones or something... check out ftp://icydog.no-ip.com/wap/ [link is now dead] and http://icydog.no-ip.com/wap/ [link is now dead] (upload to the FTP site and then use WAP to go to the HTTP site). I'm not sure if images will work, but try and fail if you want, then tell me to fix it.
Somehow I managed to get online from my phone... I hope this is not costing like $30 extra a month. Anyways, I now have an ownage polyphonic Chinese anthem... sweet.
5:57PM
Sunday, May 9, 2004 (3 comments)
To go with the below, I quote this directly from his Xanga:
damnit. i wish david would get the fuck online bc i want to download jessica simpson - sweetest sin but everytime i try to dl it i just get a screwed up version.
YESSSSSSSSS YES YES YES YES! DAVID GOT ON! YESSSS
Dang... I thought he only listened to noise...
11:09PM
ManOfAwesome: AHHH UR ON FINALLY
ManOfAwesome: can u send me jessica simpson's sweetest sin
ManOfAwesome: i cant dl it
[...]
ManOfAwesome: ive been looking for like an hour
ManOfAwesome: for a working copy
Yes! Someone else has a music taste as bad as mine!
I got a new cell phone... didn't have any replacement plan though, so that screwed me pretty hard. And I can't get any ring tones onto it because its only method for that is via web and I don't have that kind of service. So no Chinese anthem aka best ring tone on the planet =(
So what happened was that I drove off from the field with the phone still on top of my car, and on the way up the hill, before I got to the Fullers Park stop signs, I heard a clank above and to the right of me. So at that point I went totally Ronjon and repeated "OH FUCK!!" about 50 million times. I parked in some person's driveway and searched 150 feet down and 50 feet up from there. I'm still missing a few pieces... well, that taught me a lesson.
They should make phones with parachutes that automatically deploy if free-fall is detected.
On to a totally different subject... why is it that any book you find (about the subject) or any person you ask will tell you that a mirror flips the left and right sides of things? Why not top and bottom? Because you can just as correctly say that a mirror image is top-bottom flipped as you can say that it's left-right reversed. Maybe I would be asking this question the other way around if people had top-bottom symmetry instead of left-right.
I almost correctly integrated an expression and almost got the correct answer to a Gauss's Law practice question. I was so happy. Usually I don't even know what variable (of the 5 or 6 that are given) I'm integrating. Why did I take this class!? Ahhh should have done it after multivariable... wtf is an integral over a closed surface... and line integrals are really fun too because I have no clue what they are and how they are different from an "integral."
As far as I know (heard from Dutter), AP Environ is being taught by a new guy who is being hired. I think she said he's an environmental chemist or something. It's going to own!
Ok so I'm chatting with Chang... and this happens. (I took out the message part, leaving only timestamps.) This has never happened before and did not happen in any of my other IM windows open at the time... just read down the column:
[21:49:59]
[21:49:59]
[21:50:03]
[21:50:07]
[21:50:08]
[21:51:21]
[21:51:30]
[21:50:46]
[21:50:48]
[21:50:51]
[21:51:03]
Creepy. It scared me for a second as I considered the possibilities:
- I fell through a Wrinkle in Time and then back again
- Aliens abducted me, causing me to lose time, and then put me back
- I was unable to perform a greater-than/less-than operation to determine the correct sequence of times
I concluded that the correct choice was #1.
10:20PM
Saturday, May 8, 2004 (7 comments)
Uhh, don't call my cell phone. I broke it by putting it on top of my car and driving off. Since I know someone will ask, no, I did not do it on purpose because I don't really enjoy breaking expensive equipment.
I'm not one of those rich bastards who break their phones so their parents will get them a new one. Agghhh just thinking of these people make me want to vomit.
9:05PM
AP Environmental Science IS being made. Well, that's what Dutter said, and she sounded pretty sure. So that means everyone needs to ask her about it. I'm signing up.
I got owned by the free response for physics. I left about 6 parts of problems completely blank, and then missed an additional 4 or so. I barely got half the possible points for that. Multiple choice seems to be my savior for every single AP exam. If you're looking for the free response to bring up your physics grade... well... it's not happening unless you just really suck at guessing on multiple choice.
I really hate how I do things my own weird way on those physics problems, because although it makes sense to me, when I try to read other people's work it often looks like monkey doodle because I don't get it. Then when other people read my work, it also looks like monkey doodle. Especially McLeod, who loves how I write vectors.
What am I going to do when she leaves for college!?? =(
Charles tells me I need to come up with more synonyms for rape, own, death, etc and their inflections. To please him, I'm going to start using the term steamroll from now on. My vocabulary has just increased by about 33%.
I love it when this happens every few days because my vocabulary is so broad and I use specific, unambiguous terms:
Dude[tte]: Hey how was the [test, game, tournament, etc]?
Me: [Choose one: Rape, Owned, Deadly. And
now, also Steamrolled.]
Dude[tte]: So is that good or bad?
Remember when Bryan said to take a picture with a drunk guy for the exotic photo? Well... for those of you who haven't enjoyed this photo yet, that's my grandpa, who is full of pure ownage. He doesn't actually ever drink, but that just makes it even funnier.
To go perfectly with the Ronjon Xanga story below... my mom looks at my IM window and sees this:
icydog1: yes, i got raped
Then my sister decides to look too. I think I'm just going to unplug my computer from the Internet permanently now.
5:22PM
Yeah so I was reading Ronjon's Xanga and my sister says "Why does it say 'I fuck on the first date?'" God damn it. I can't believe that freaking happened.
Yes, to satisfy KT, I'll write about the Judge, cardboard box, and LCD making it through security.
If you don't know what the Judge is (the one we use for science), it's this briefcase looking thing that says The Judge on the middle of one of the flat faces, and along the top of that face, has four red and four green lights in a row. If you open the case, then you see lots of very old and frayed wires with different colors, and most of the wires go into this 5x10" (approx) cardboard box covered in white paper and tape. The other end of the wires go to a total of eight foot pedals.
To summarize, it doesn't look suspicious at all, especially not after you open it.
And the cardboard box is not the one pictured at the top of this page, but it's the new one, which is a lot smaller, more compact, has like 3 pounds more parts, and has more wires crammed into a much tinier space. (It may be lower down on that page if you read this a few weeks after today.)
On the way through Hartsfield security on Thursday, the Judge had to be opened and about five men questioned Gene about it and what it does. We kept giving the same response ("you buzz and it lights up") over and over and they didn't seem to be happy. I guess once they saw the harmless CIA agent (Dutter) they stopped and let us go. They had to open Ronjon's bag to look at his LCD I think. I was very surprised when they didn't even ask about my bag. I mean, when's the last time airport security saw a desktop computer inside a bookbag?
On the way back, through Reagan (DC) security, we had more fun. Gene demanded to check in the Judge, so we did that. Only later did I ask "hey did you watch it go on the belt and through the thing?" and he told me "no." Well, great. Apparently what happened was that it got delayed (gee I wonder why) and our flight left without it... so it came late, while Dutter was complaining to baggage services at Hartsfield.
So for our carry-ons, Ronjon and I got stopped. His LCD and my bag were inspected. They swabbed down our bags and Ronjon but not me (he looks more Arab). While opening my bag, he took out my water bottle... and squirted Coke all over his substance testing station, the part with the computer. Hilarious. I tried to not laugh.
Eventually they let us through after ascertaining that the LCD monitor and my computer were not comprised of high explosives.
Moving to a totally different subject, at school a few days ago, I saw the best notice ever. On the door to the media center, I saw this piece of paper that began "EMERGENCY MEETING ALL KOREAN SPEAKING STUDENTS..."
And the important notice to Koreans or non: anyone wishing to see a Smoky Hill sign being incinerated by gasoline and possibly other substances with steel wool ignition... come home with me on Monday after emag (90 mins after physics). I'm ready to BURN some asshole tags!
12:01AM
Friday, May 7, 2004 (4 comments)
Uhhh I have the feeling that skydivers must have when their parachute is stuck and they're 30 feet above the ground and approaching at 120 mph.
So AP US wasn't that bad, and I thought the multiple choice was a bit easier than the practice one we took. I'm hoping for around 60/80 on that. I didn't do so well on the second essay, but that was made up for by the containment one.
Euro was death. This is steamrolling... it'd be like Matt Haddad vs. that girl on TJ in science bowl. (Did I just compare myself to Matt? Ugh.) I'm hoping for 35/80 on the MC... and the essays were really bad too. Maybe I'll get a 4 if I'm lucky.
By the time I got to the third Euro essay... the sixth of the day... I couldn't stop my mind from wandering. By the time I finished that one, about 15,000 bowling balls had been dropped from the top of the Leaning Tower, and Ai had fallen through the atmosphere of Jupiter at least once.
Oh, the lady asked me about physics. Apparently, 36 signed up for AP Physics C and 2 put down B. She asked me how we know what we're taking, and I answered by saying "we were all told to take physics C," well, because that's what Dutter said. Umm I don't know what she's going to do with that... so if someone's actually supposed to be taking physics B... oops.
I went to watch Fight Club at Craig's house... I went outside to call Drew for about one minute, and then I walked back in. So I lay down on the floor to the left of Charles, who was on the left side of the couch. After 25 minutes, he starts petting my head (which feels kinda funny). I got up and so here's what I found out:
- I never re-entered the house after leaving.
- They said "Where's Zhang?" several times, which I didn't hear.
- Craig's dog like petting on the head.
- I am Craig's dog.
I really don't want to study for physics or chemistry... and emag looks like rape. I'm going to have so much fun with that! If a current I is flowing through a loop with resistance R, and a bar slides down the slope made by two wires in this loop at an angle θ to the horizontal, and there is a magnetic field of strength B directed perpendicular to the slope.... and the funny thing is, that's an actual question. I was assigned that about two months ago and I haven't figured out where to start yet. So uh, there goes a few free response questions (out of the three).
Someone said that McLeod should have come on the science bowl trip so that she could sit with us and distract the other team. I don't know what that's supposed to mean, but I think it came from Mrs. Dutter... so.... yeah I don't know. And she wore a shirt that said CIA on it, if you didn't see her on Thursday.
6:46PM
I've been too busy studying for AP US and falling asleep to have time to get on my computer. I've fallen asleep so much that I've missed dinner the past two or three days.
I'm ready to be raped by both tests... ahhhhhhh I can't wait till the physics multiple choice give me an ego boost, which will be immediately killed by the free response section. Do they really expect anyone to correctly answer FR #3 at all?? It's always so freaking impossible and I'm going to miss the entire question like I always do on practice. I've concluded that FR #3 on both physics and emag is there just to look pretty. It doesn't really serve a function, as no one ever gets any points from it.
I need to write about the Judge, my cardboard box, and Ronjon's LCD trying to get through security later. Those guys were annoying.
Yeah so I got a crap grade on my speech analysis, meaning my research paper must be like a 99. I don't think I'm going to do the last Brit lit thing.
Bao zi own.
6:52AM
Tuesday, May 4, 2004 (6 comments)
Doing AP Euro work on AP week is like taking a crap immediately after Ronjon. In other words, asphyxiation.
___// THE PERFECT GiRLFRiEND\\__
[x] her name would be? not niquisha or marjoelein something like that
__SECTiON ONE-PHYSiCAL APPEARANCE
[x] How tall would she be? - shorter than me
[x] Really skinny or really fat? - oh really really really fat because I like angry fat people
[x] Would she be muscular or chubby? - muscle on girls is eww
[x] Six pack? - ewwwww
[x] Hair style? - i like long straight hair
[x] Hair color? - black, duh
[x] Eye color? - umm well one blue and one brown is weird, and since I'm me, then brown
[x] Dark, tan or light? - not orange
[x] Glasses or contacts? - don't care
[x] Piercings? how many? - not many, ears are fine
[x] Ssan gga pul? [[double eye lid]] - i don't even notice
[x] eyebrows? [big or thin? or..?] - doesn't matter
[x] Big Butt or um.. big... u kno.... - huh?
[x] make up or none? - not makeup
[x] would you care what she looks like? - yeah
_ SECTiON TWO - PERSONALiTY
[x] Girly girl or tomboy - closer to the former
[x] Talkative or shy - shy would result in McLeod's hypothetical physics class of Dragos and me
(silence)
[x] Down to Earth or Dreamer - down to earth
[x] Jealous - of what?
[x] Flirty - not very
[x] Protective - of my Cokes or what?
[x] Seductive or innocent - (i like charleses answer:) (i like patricks answer:) seductive AND innocent..
it works ;)
[x] Funny or serious - it's not funny when my mom pulls out a tranquilizer dart gun
[x] Outgoing or shy - doesn't outgoing mean talkative?
[x] Lazy - lazy + lazy = gets nowhere
[x] Sarcastic or sincere - more sincere
[x] Would she swear - sure
[x] Adult-like or child-like - my mom and my younger sister are not good candidates... you can't
remind me of my mom...
[x] Romance addict? - dunno
[x] Prompt or fashionably late - late isn't fashionable in my book
_ SECTiON THREE - SOCiAL // SCHOOL
[x] Does she have a lot of guyfriends? - if she wants
[x] Who comes first, you? or her friends? - wouldn't i be one of her friends?
[x] Would she hang out with your friends? - yeah
[x] Party or stay home - a lot of either isn't that fun
[x] Would she have a lot of friends? - sure
[x] Smart or Blonde? - I LOVE BLONDES SOOOOO MUCH
[x] Would she play sports? - that's a plus unless she can beat me up
[x] Would she drink/smoke/do drugs? - i love drunks, emphysemics, and potheads even more than blondes
[x] Would she tell you she loves you - that'd be nice
[x] Skater/ Prep/ etc.? - skater...? no
_SECTiON FOUR-WHEN YOU'RE TOGETHER
[x] hold hands? maybe
[x] hug in public? sure
[x] kiss? i love it when people slobber on each other in the hallways (especially when theyre drunk
blonde emphysemic potheads)
[x] nicknames? no, i hate being called Davie (lol) or Ruidong and I don't usually respond to Dave
[x] offer to pay for something on dates? charles's description is hilarious, but the point i gather
from him is that it's pointless, so wasting saliva to ask a useless quesiotn is useless
[x] eat normally or eat daintily? normally
[x] eye contact? sure
[x] watch the sunrise with you? ok
[x] watch the stars late at night with you? sure, until my mom finds me and steamrolls me
[x] surprise you? with some chomp guy, no, that would cause me to kill some one/people, but most
other things are good
[x] go to romantic dates? occasionally
[x] late night calls? well since i get lots of sleep anyways, it wouldn't hurt
Did I just waste 15 minutes doing this crap?
1:19AM
Monday, May 3, 2004 (4 comments)
Calculations show that I need an 89.33 average on the three remaining paper grades (research paper, speech analysis) to get an A in that class... and considering that my papers have been 70, 75, 56 this semester... that is GAY.
Good luck to people taking stat tomorrow. I'm kind of mad at stupid Adams teaching that class because it's really so easy, yet everyone complains about it. Someone needs to get him kicked.
Which reminds me, there were no stat questions in the 11 rounds we played, but 3 in the final 3 rounds that we watched. And no one knew them! Free points...
If Ronjon scored 600 on the math portion of the SAT I and this is one standard deviation above the mean, then what percentile was his score?
If you couldn't figure out within 0.5 seconds that it's 84th percentile, then you're screwed on that test tomorrow (you'll get a dash or a 1). The only guess between the two teams was "67 percent," which isn't even in the correct format. So if you did know that, consider yourself better than the #2 and #3 ranked teams of national science bowl. Ok, not really, they just happen to not know stat.
11:20PM
I hate people. The Quotes page also owns.
Thursday
We got on a plane, slept, got on a bus, slept, came to the room and unpacked, went outside, and owned everyone in frisbee. Then after owning some more, we went on gay tours around DC and the bus decided to drive off and leave us stranded for half an hour. Then we practiced until about 1AM.
Oh, and the trip here was worth it even without the actual competition. We each got a free 175 gram real frisbee that says National Science Bowl on it, has stuff like PV=nRT, and is white indoors but turns purple in the sun. Mrs. Dutter got one, too.
At night, after the last event of the day, there were refreshments. Everyone knew I would need Coke for the tournament Sunday, so we stole many cans of Coke. We ended up with 9 cans after drinking some.
Friday
We went to the National Air & Space Museum and walked around and killed people in frisbee. We came back and went to a seminar with a guy doing stupid things with liquid nitrogen like nail a nail into a wooden board with a frozen banana. Then my mom showed up and made me take a picture with her.
They didn't have any canned drinks this night, so we couldn't steal much Coke. But Gene got 12 Snickers bars, Ronjon got 11 Snickers and chips and bags of popcorn and stuff, and Dragos and I got some too. A Coke was used though, so we were reduced to 8.
We practiced and talked about obscene things until like 1:45AM, and security told us to shut up and be quiet. The guard interrupted Gene's yelling of "THAT'S A LOT OF GASM!" after I went to the bathroom to piss while on the phone with Tricia.
Saturday
After waking up at 12 and eating lunch, I watched Ronjon walk into the bathroom and drop his bag with his toothbrush, contact solution, contacts, deodorant, glasses case, toothpaste, and stuff into the toilet.
At night, we watched Thomas Jefferson play questions among themselves and really suck. They couldn't name the simple machines. So then we asked them to play a round with us, and this one girl killed us. But considering the expected raping, we did pretty well. The first round, when we played as teams, ended about 80-100, so really not too bad.
I drew eggs for the round-robin preliminary rounds and got us into the same division as a team that has been champions and qualified six times as well as another team that has qualified nine times. That's one more than Thomas Jefferson. Deadly. Only the top two teams from each division advance, so things looked pretty bad at this point.
Sunday
I used around 7 cans (around 2.5 L) of Coke total today, and the others drank a lot too. I had to go pee at least 8 times today. That night around 8 PM, my stomach started to die due to gas buildup. Then I farted ~87 times while sitting between Dragos and Ronjon (Gene got lucky), and everything was better.
So at noon, we played this team Auburn that we should have destroyed. We lost by one or two questions, but during the second half, after we warmed up and the Coke effect started showing, we got 84 points to their 46. Next game was against the best team in our division, of course, Montgomery Blair. 4 Chinese guys, 1 Chinese alternate, 1 Chinese coach... yeah. They pulled away in the second half to beat us 202-110 or so. During this round, the ever-encouraging Dutter was asked if she would like to move to where she could see the scoreboard, and she replied "No, I don't need to see the score," though she was not keeping score, either.
We beat everyone else in the round-robin, with the highlight occurring at the end against JR Masterman, at a score of 202-24.
After dinner, our first double elimination round went pretty badly. We lost 64-62. That made us (at least me, anyways) mad and so our next opponent felt our wrath and got raped 120-16.
According to our very friendly state coordinator who owns, Westminster (who won in 1995 or near then) is the only Georgia team who has gotten to play on Monday. Not even Parkview =)
Monday
The worst mistake I made, other than sucking at early interrupts, was using less that one can of Coke. I'd say that's a tactical error.
First game (#3 double elimination) was very close, with the game swinging back and forth at the end with a period T approximately equal to 1 minute. We happened to be up a little at the end.
Second game was against a bunch of Smoky Hill asses, even their coach. When we walked into the room, the first thing she said to me was "hey, we didn't expect to see you here!" Oh my hell, if I didn't have to look proper in a freaking suit, she'd be dead. Ronjon was even closer to pwning her.
Then there was a question which was read as "what is the form of benzene..." instead of "what is the formula of benzene..." and Smoky Hill said C6H6, which, of course, should be correct. But we protested because he read the question wrong, making the correct answer closer to "ring" or something similar instead of the formula. Assreader refused our protest, and we lost by a tossup and a bonus.
So we lost, and I don't exactly think we lost fairly on the last one. But then again, if I had not incorrectly interrupted so many times, we would have raped every single game (except the 6 Chinese guys) by at least 50.
Now the funny thing is, the game we lost 64-62 was against the team that finished second overall. We could and should have beat them, and it was down to one last bonus. We were not worse than them. Next year, we'll be champs or you'll have my brains for dinner that Monday night.
During the final roll call in the auditorium, when Taylor Alderdice was called, one guy went "SKEET SKEET!!!" and everyone burst. That was awesome.
Then we got interviewed by CBS, and I took the worst pounding because I was nervous and didn't know what to say. So you guys get to watch me make a fool of myself on TV =)
We found some nametags for Smoky Hill (like 6 of them). Ronjon has a paintball gun, and Dutter has darts.
On the way back, Dragos and I witnessed teleportation in action. In fact, we were teleported. At Hartsfield (or whatever gay name it has now), we couldn't find The Judge, which was checked in for the flight from DC. So Dutter went to complain about this slightly after I saw 7:28, 7:29, and 7:30 on the airport clock. After being led into another room, led in circles, and talking to at least two other airport officials, we headed out to the Dutters' car. By the time the luggage was in the trunk and we were in the seats, it had to have been at least 7:45-7:50. I fell asleep just before we got on the interstate, so that would be about 7:50-7:55. When I woke up on Roswell Road, it was 8:08. Teleportation? Yes.
There's SO much more to tell... but it'd take me until next year to write it all out.
10:12PM
Older posts can be viewed through the links to the left, under the main menu.
25022 hits since March 27, 2006.
