Zhanga: April 2004
Entries have their own pages now. Click the date to see the entry by itself with its comments.
Thursday, April 29, 2004 (5 comments)
Holy shit I'm excited.
There seriously is no question of whether I do better with Coke, and whether I do worse with food. It's just a matter of how much better and how much worse, so that a balance can be achieved between short term owning and long term brain cell loss. Gene's working on this.
Thanks to all of you who wished us luck. No thanks to the one who told me to "rape ass" and then refused me her ass.
Sprint took one hour (that's 60 minutes) to copy some phone numbers from my old phone to the new one. Gay. While I was there, this big fat friendly black guy (contrast with big fat angry black lady) tells me "hey kid I like your tattoo!" Yes, that would be referring to my left arm, which of course was covered with an obscenity. My mom also demanded to see what was on my arm but I kept covering it up. Eva, you're dead. Better bring some hard shoes and maybe an ice pick tomorrow.
I still have pelican markings on me, after soap and scrubbing! Looks like two will be in one grave, because I'm not paying for both.
---
So Daniel, it certainly is a surprise that you came to read my site and commented. Longest comment yet, I believe. No, I don't know you... so I shouldn't be trashing you. And I only said what I said based on what I had heard from other people, and I shouldn't have done that. I am sorry about this. I have had classes with you, though, and also, the rest of your comment makes no sense.
Looking back, all I said was "...but Gilbert got it. And it was Daniel Gilbert! How'd that happen?" I didn't think that would offend you that much. Sorry that it did. I'm also sorry that you do not like my character. But really, if someone said that about me, I'd have just shrugged it off.
I don't know what's this about me trashing your brother - Ben, right? I haven't mentioned him anywhere.
I will now identify everyone I mentioned on the 26th:
Tricia - She's Korean and not your brother
I - That's me, and I have no brother
Snoddy - Our AP US teacher, who can't be your brother
My whore - that's Tricia, who is Korean and not your brother
Faucet - Sits behind me in AP US and... Mike's not your brother, is he?
Leak - is not a person
Dragos - he's that Romanian guy who beats me at everything and is nominally a Christian I think
Ronjon - Indian dude who I make fun of every hour of my waking life and doesn't care
Gilbert - this was implied to be Jason
Daniel Gilbert - that's you, I assume
Tijuana Joe's - a place where they give you food to eat
There's no way I trashed him. Not personally, at least. Maybe I made some blanket statement that you mistook as a jab at him, and let me assure you that none of the general remarks I have made during my life were meant to apply to him.
I'll ignore the "you all" for now in your comment and assume I'm the primary offender of everything listed, since of course the comment is on my site and is directed to me.
About the Bible, I did not ever say that either (a) I hate anyone who believes in it or (b) that anyone who believes is stupider than me. Quote me, and I'll eat my words. Nowhere have I said this. Not on this page, not on this site, not out of my mouth, not in my mind. Let's see...
(a) Though you didn't explicitly make this accusation, it seems implied, so I'll say something about it. I like Ms. Pepple, I like Erica, and I like Yujing. That's enough I think.
(b) Now, when's the last time I called Erica or Yujing stupid?
I really don't understand why you're talking about Christianity here. I haven't said anything about religion in forever. Where is this attitude that I'm better than all Christians coming from? I have never said or implied that. Anywhere, at any time.
You mentioned that there are devout Christians in the top ranks of our class. Sure there are, but as far as I know, they're the minority. But either way, does this actually mean anything? The sample size is too small to matter, so whether the top 20 of Walton's junior class is entirely Christian, entirely atheist, or in between does not have much significance.
On top of it all, the last quote stuns me:
"the stupid Bible- believing Christian who Ms Bryan is plotting to kill"
Huh? Who said that, or are you just paraphrasing something that you think I may have said? Because just to make sure, I did a search on my site for the words Bible and stupid and got 0 results.
So how was my rhetoric and personal style? I hope it was not "truly inappropriate."
2:33AM
Wednesday, April 28, 2004 (4 comments)
I love creating personal style that is "truly inappropriate." Hopefully I'll get some credit for at least trying. If I get a 100 on the second half of the rhetorical terms test, and a 100 on the research paper, I can actually get an A. Or if I don't, I could also get a C. Hopefully she's in a good mood when she grades my paper.
70 SEG points in a day. Yesssssssssss!
Today Eva wrote on my arm I SUCK DICK. I thought it was a pen at first, and not a Sharpie, because I wouldn't have let her do that. I got some really funny looks. As Tim put it, I got served. Later, Tiffany wrote PELICANS ROCK MY WORLD beside it, and I guess that's not as bad. At least it's not blatantly crude. I also have blue dots on my face... The lady at la Madeleine looked at me funny and said "I hope you got the other guy" when she saw them. Snoddy also thought I looked weird and I told her it was due to the three-year-old behind me (Eva).
My dad saw my arm, asked, and then I didn't give much of a response. Then he stopped asking, probably because he read it. Thanks, ho.
Here's an indication of how well we're going to do at science bowl. The quotes may have been slightly adjusted:
Yujing: A man pulls a sled along a snow-covered surface with 80N
of force using a rope that makes an angle of 53 degrees to the horizontal. What is the force of
friction...
Me: 40N.
Dragos: 48N.
Me: Huh?
Dragos: It's a 3-4-5 triangle.
Me: Yeah I know.
[draws right triangle with hypotenuse 80 and leg 40]
Dragos: It's a 3-4-5 triangle...
Me: Yeah, so it should be 40, right?
Dragos: It's a 3-4-5 triangle.
It's a 3-4-5 triangle.
It's a 3-4-5 triangle.
It's a 3-4-5 triangle.
It's a 3-4-5 triangle.
It's a 3-4-5 triangle.
It's a 3-4-5 triangle.
It's a 3-4-5 triangle.
It's a 3-4-5 triangle.
It's a 3-4-5 triangle.
It's a 3-4-5 triangle.
It's a 3-4-5 triangle.
It's a 3-4-5 triangle.
It's a 3-4-5 triangle.
It's a 3-4-5 triangle.
It's a 3-4-5 triangle.
It's a 3-4-5 triangle.
It's a 3-4-5 triangle.
It's a 3-4-5 triangle.
It's a 3-4-5 triangle.
It's a 3-4-5 triangle.
It's a 3-4-5 triangle.
It's a 3-4-5 triangle.
It's a 3-4-5 triangle.
It's a 3-4-5 triangle.
It's a 3-4-5 triangle.
It's a 3-4-5 triangle.
It's a 3-4-5 triangle.
It's a 3-4-5 triangle.
It's a 3-4-5 triangle.
It's a 3-4-5 triangle.
It's a 3-4-5 triangle.
It's a 3-4-5 triangle.
It's a 3-4-5 triangle.
It's a 3-4-5 triangle.
It's a 3-4-5 triangle.
It's a 3-4-5 triangle.
Me: Hoooooly crap I am idiot.
I don't think I'll be able to live to see home if I do this at the tournament. And what's worse, before that happened, I had not eaten for over 3 hours, so I couldn't blame my idiocy on food.
I'm going to need such a large supply of Coke for the tournament...
4:44PM
Tuesday, April 27, 2004 (4 comments)
What has the world come to?
all your bases are belong to us.
Sweet. If you take polarized glasses, take an LCD screen, and turn it in a circle, then it goes black.
Ok uhh just to clarify... I was being a little sarcastic when I said that I was expecting to win the English department award. I was expecting Jason to get it.
Hey Bellsouth support staff, I hope you inspect my IP and read this. Incompetence is expected, deceit is accepted, but being a bitch is most unwelcome. Here's my greatly shortened rant.
I've tried for over a week to get my email addresses back, and I was lied to and deceived multiple times. Today, this lady complains about there being a problem because the old account had my mom's name and the old phone number attached, and the new one has my dad's name and our current number. She repeated at least 15 times "once again, I repeat, I am unable to go on with this operation because neither the phone numbers nor names match." I got really pissed.
The funny part when I laughed is when I explain to her that they're husband and wife, and she doesn't believe me. She asked "why don't they have the same name?" and I didn't get it until she said "one is Zhang and one is Yang." I thought it was really funny and said "we're Chinese... and that's how we do it..." and she thought this was an unacceptable answer. Then I got more pissed.
Later, she tells me she'll have this done in 10-15 minutes... then complains about her computer being too slow, so she can't continue. Then she hangs up.
I freaking hate their POS support staff!
In my experience, there's only been two types of people who can throw out absurd, blatant lies left and right, and continue spewing them out apparently without feeling guilt. Coincidentally or not, there's three Koreans I know, and then there's tech support. And then there's Ronjon, but he doesn't count as a type of people.
5:52PM
Monday, April 26, 2004 (9 comments)
Here's the first and last pages of the DBQ that Tricia and I wrote for Snoddy. We owned this one, and that is why I love my whore. I hope you all enjoy reading the cover page. And if you want to know how to make boxes, you may want to take a look.
Faucet made some more Leaky comments today... including one really Leaky one, but I don't remember what it was. The deluge of Leak just like overran my brain.
Math tournament was useless. I got there at 4, saw no one there, went back to my car, laid down, and turned on the music. As expected, I fell asleep immediately. At 5, Dragos called me seconds after I woke up, and so I ran into the building. We ended up not doing anything at all and leaving at 5:45... and I ran into every red light imaginable.
So at Honors Night I got several pleasant surprises and some not so pleasant. For math, it was a boy and a girl from each grade, except Dragos and I both got one for the juniors. Then they called me up there for physical science, so I expected that Dragos would get the bio award for sure. Nope... Ronjon? Ok so the other unpleasant surprise was when I was expecting to win that English award because my English skills are awesome... but Gilbert got it. And it was Daniel Gilbert! How'd that happen?
After that, we went to Tijuana Joe's. I was the only Asian surrounded by 8 white people. Since when did Asian become the minority?
10:11PM
Sunday, April 25, 2004 (4 comments)
You know, every time I read a Xanga comment or anything else that has a "teeeheee" in it, I keep thinking that whoever wrote it is making fun of people. But then every time, when I read on, I notice that the "teeeheee" was actually meant to be a "teeeheee." It's kind of funny, because people actually say "haha" or "hehe" and maybe Koreans do say "kekekeke^^" and apparently chompies say "OMG" in the hallways, but who on earth says "teeeheee"? (There wasn't supposed to be a comparison between Koreans and chompies, because after all, Koreans are Asian and therefore infinitely superior to the orange race.)
I just pulled into the SAT tutor's driveway and we're getting out of my car. There is one locked door in the car, and that's the one behind Charles. So I reach back to lock the other rear door, and then I open my door and exit. Charles attempts to follow suit, except since the door behind him is locked, he decides to lock his own instead. Then, brilliantly and in one motion, he tries to open it and throw his body out into the open doorway. Except there's no open doorway... because it's locked. He does manage to not land his face in the window, though.
An hour later, he notices that he forgot to lock his door.
My mom and sister are leaving for two weeks in the summer, I think. So I get to own by myself for a while. Oh yes, you know what this means! Except my mom will probably call home every three seconds to make sure I'm home. Maybe I'll get call forwarding.
Eva (the same randomly generated name as before) claims I'm too pussy to drag race, but I totally have an excuse. Ai was going down a one lane road, and it's rather difficult to race there. You should have told her to turn on to Roswell with me if you really wanted to do that! Then my car would have shown you what racing really is. Have you seen my car go? That thing is so blazing fast that you'd never be able to keep up with it. In fact, I almost passed Mr. Edelstein one day. And this other time, I was going up a hill, and I didn't roll down...
Actually, my car does have a little bit of power in its little engine, as Charles noted today. It does some crazy things when I really mash it, for example to get past the Timber Ridge light (the red light which Ronjon is an expert at going through while a cop is under it).
Oh, and one more thing. Eva's immense inertia would have kept Ai's car pretty slow for a while. (hey hey I'm just kidding)
Oh Drew, if Eva called you from my cell at like 6:50 AM Saturday... that was Eva, not me. She was really drunk and so she called you because she thinks you're really hot and she wanted to have sex with you. Too bad you didn't pick up, otherwise a familiar story (think Russo) may have reenacted itself, except this time you wouldn't be the drunk one. HIYO!
I heard the chem test grades were hell. Well, that leaves me to work on 75 isomers to avoid getting a B in there.
8:52PM
I was at Borders earlier today with Ai & Eva. Don't ever try to get anything done with Eva within 25 feet of you. You won't accomplish anything. Using this incorrect method of doing things, it took me two and a half hours to do 6 dumb calculus problems that would have been 5 minutes apiece at home.
As usual, Eva kept throwing things at me, and eventually Ai's apple came flying at my head. It bounced off of my shoulder and landed on the ground. Ai and I yelled at Eva, then Ai shirt-polished it and later started eating it. Then, being a Wasteful Japanese Demon, she didn't eat more than a third of it and I had to save the world from the wastage of 2/3 of an apple.
There was this dumb girl there, who picked up a sex book that made noises when you push the button. For the purposes of this story, we'll refer to her as "Eva" although this is purely a randomly generated name. So, being an idiot, Eva takes the book and throws it onto the couch behind us, where two moms were sitting. With a five year old kid. Little kid ends up practically on top of the book, but he never picked it up to look at it.
1:30AM
Saturday, April 24, 2004 (2 comments)
5 DAYS!!! YESSS!!!!
I don't think I've been so highly anticipating anything this much in my life. I think Dragos, Dumb, and Gay are as ready to own as me, too, making us the most excited team there is.
The math tournament owned us. I spelled tournament wrong and the first spell check choice was torment, which is basically what we went through. Little Howard (though he grew and is probably taller than me now) raped and got second place. Three of the top ten went to Rockdale, and first place was Ben Wu from that school. The rank 2-5 schools got 919-954 points... and then Rockdale got 1145. Holy crap. To reiterate what I said about us getting raped, we got like 660.
I think I should start keeping score for the most awesome comments, like James's (look at yesterday's last sentence):
all eva can do is both of them at the same time
The only good part about the math tournament was at the end... as we were leaving, this lady sees us in the empty hallway (we ran out there really fast) and says, "hey you guys hungry?" I nod and say yes like a Holocaust victim, Fanoe is like... "uhhh... sure..." in his usual indecisive manner, and Eva stands there and blinks like a tall vegetable. The lady says "follow me...... down here....... go into that room" in exactly the same way that we were instructed as little kids to not listen to. But hey, I wanted food. So as soon as we walk in, the lady says "I'm tired of carting around food. Start eating." A room of food and three people to eat it? Fun =)
During lunch, Fanoe said that Dutter can't teach and I protested. Ms. McWilliams started chuckling, but I couldn't tell who she thought was funny. Anyways, Gene, Fanoe got 10000% error on one of his free-response problems from last year. Since Fanoe is good at math and physics, good luck getting a 5 on this exam. Let's go for the 1st place finish at nationals instead. That's a 100 in the class, remember, not just the A (89.50) that you get for a 5 on the exam.
Oh, and Six Flags was fun yesterday. Yes, that's to you. By the way, look on your windowsill... you may notice a small horde of slugs marching into your room as punishment for lazying last weekend.
Time to own some math. Then I look forward to doing my research paper.
8:27PM
Friday, April 23, 2004 (4 comments)
Tyson is being ownage and has taken the $10 offer of hacking me. Everyone else sucks.
Back from Six Flags. I shouldn't have eaten so much lunch, as I was really close to spewing it out over the side of the Ninja after going on it too many times.
I'm really afraid of heights and dropping... so roller coasters aren't really my thing. I rode a lot of them anyways, though. I thought I was about to die on top of the Free Fall... ahhhh and then when I hit the bottom my stomach punched me... in the stomach and esophagus region.
I fell asleep on two separate occasions while we were there. I almost managed to fall asleep on Scorcher. I think I would have had it if Charles and Gene didn't keep talking about me on opposite sides of me.
Now I'm at home and sleepy. I'm going to sleep relatively early tonight so that Walton will rape the math tournament tomorrow. Yeah, we don't need you, Dragos and Craig! What team needs their top two members anyways? Watch Walton rape without you! Eva can take both your places!
10:50PM
Thursday, April 22, 2004 (5 comments)
Alright so I'm doing the DBQ project on WWII... and I'm reading about the proceedings in the House on declaration of war on Germany:
The SPEAKER. The question is, Will the House suspend the rules and pass the joint
resolution?
Mr. MCCORMACK. Mr. Speaker, on that I demand the yeas and nays.
The yeas and nays were ordered.
* * * * * *
The question was taken; and there were yeas 393, answered "present" 1, not voting 36.
Now my first reaction to that was that I had to ask someone what this means, because I seemed to not understand it. So I asked CiCi, because I figured she'd know more about this stuff than me. Well, the end result is that she agrees with what I had initially thought, and I still find it hard to believe because it's so stupid. So there were 393 yeas, 0 nays, 36 not votings... and a "present"? Did some idiot say "present" instead of yea or nay? Or do I just interpret this wrong? Someone help me before I die of laughter!
Snoddy is going to love our title page. Hopefully, anyways. She'll enjoy the DBQ even more...
I
love the usefulness of the Smart Tags thing on MS Office.... because they're never stupid and annoying
in any way! And they never get in my way.
I want to say something about the statement by Dumb Question Faucet (Leaky) during US, because this one irritates me: "Everybody else treats our prisoners like crap but we actually torture them with dignity." And he sounded angry when he said this.
Ignorance abounds. What makes you think that "everybody" treats prisoners like crap except the Americans? Do you not think that Americans have committed their share of crap too? Are our enemies never pleasant to American prisoners? Even worse, when Americans torture others, they do so "with dignity"? When's the last time you received dignified torture? Why do I hate America??
A little over a year ago, in the AJC, there was a reader's letter to the editors. She commented on a large photo that was displayed in the paper a few days earlier. She was furious that the newspaper would dare show a picture of a disarmed (that means without a weapon, in case Faucet leaks brain fluid too) Iraqi POW being held at the point of an assault rifle. All they had to do, she said, was simply take the camera and take the picture from an angle θ such that the gun would be obscured by the prisoner's body. Now why didn't I think of that? Oh wait, maybe because our newspapers would be freaking propaganda?
That letter made such an impact on me that I still remember it. Although I can't remember a physics formula we learned three days ago, I can still remember this black hole of idiocy that I encountered four hundred days ago.
I read Ed's Xanga where he says that he doesn't feel AP classes live up to the standard. I thought about it for a moment, and it's too true, unfortunately. But I can think of a few exceptions, those being AP Statistics (last year, anyways), AP Calculus BC, and AP US. I feel that the most amount of relevant material has been covered in these classes, and that anyone who has sufficiently paid attention should do very well on the exam. But yes, a lot of our other classes just don't hold us to appropriately high standards. I still hate mass craploads of homework though.
Isn't it amusing that a few years ago, my parents asked me "Where are other 3 point go??" if I didn't get a 100 on a test, and now this has changed into... "Where do the other 33 point went?" Yes, this is most pathetic.
5:52PM
Wednesday, April 21, 2004 (3 comments)
Well, fuck. Why did I waste my year taking AP Language? When's the last time I've had to work to keep from getting a fucking C in a class?
I could have had so much time to spend this year if not for that class. I could have had time to spend with friends, I could have slept and not gotten sick for over 3 months (I'm still sick), and most importantly, I'd have had no classes and little else to worry about. As it stands now, I have to worry about that class, Euro, US, AND chemistry. That class has had no positive effects on my life at all unless you count the death I look forward to, and despite what you may think, it would be the one class I would not take if I were given a chance to relive my junior year.
Personal style can just go screw itself, because I'm done with it. She got so fucking mad at me when I said I thought this essay was better than the other ones I've written. I know it's not a good essay, but it was not worse than anything else I've turned in. It answered every part of the question and even she didn't deny that. I have to wake up to this god-awful morningly nightmare.
Why do I keep thinking that I use more stylistic elements on my website than I do in my essays? I think I'll just write one of these next time she wants an essay.
I'm sorry if you're a sophomore like Allon and are scared by what I say about AP Language. But fuck, if it's going to fuck me this hard, someone else is going to get hit too. Heads up.
And one last thing. Do not lose your mind and give Ms. Bryan anyone's Xanga address, or worse, my site. I swear on my atheist bible that if she gets here and I find out the culprit, that person will be in a lot of pain whether s/he was my friend, another teacher, or someone I don't know. It doesn't matter how funny you think Jason's Xanga is, or how much you think she'll enjoy it. If you give her the address to that, then she'll wind up here eventually. My life will be over at that point and this site will be history. If I hear she's been here, then within hours, this site will be down permanently. This site as you know it, anyways.
7:56PM
Erica, I applaud you for your essay. Do write something about the excessive amount of work. By that, I mean point out that the work is tedious, repetitive, and does not necessarily further our education. Also, if you do not get a 9 on that essay, then someone doesn't know how to grade papers.
12:01AM
Tuesday, April 20, 2004 (3 comments)
I was supposed to be doing English work and my mom walked in while I was installing Linux. She got a little angry. Oops.
Dutter said she'd give Gene an A if we won nationals. She also said he'd change his grade to an A if he gets a 5 on the AP exam. Which one do you think he's shooting for? Everyone I've talked to thinks the nationals choice is easier.
Disappointed with the size of this update?
Well, I'll write a bit more. As Ronjon's walking out of the chem room, he tells me that he fell asleep during the test and so he felt like me. As I take the test, I was thinking about how he fell asleep during the test, and I fell asleep.
10:33PM
Monday, April 19, 2004 (10 comments)
I stayed very alert this morning in AP Language fro the entire period. In emag, Arthur kept drawing freaking humongous condoms on the board and kept telling us they were bullets bigger that the guns that would shoot them. He's on crack. Either that, or he's Russian. Then I was still alert in Euro. During AP Physics, how could I get tired with McLeod telling me that I'm in her shirt? That leaves math... I completely died in this class. Then after that, during US... I was dead again. Really dead. Same for chemistry. So that was an interesting second half of my day...
I took Eva to work today after school. It took 10 minutes, but in that time, Eva gave my hazard light switch the most intense workout of its life. She turned it on about once every 1/2 second, meaning that the button was pushed about 2400 times during the 10 minutes. I think she did this because she was mad that my car slapped her in the face -- she went "ow!" when she closed the door after getting in because the automatic seat belt thing hit her in the face. I laughed so hard that my spit sprayed in all directions like the unknown mass in a physics lab.
She can still never get over the fact (I can't either... it's hilarious!) that with a funny Taiwanese accent, dad and shit sound the same. So every time she's around me, I hear someone say hey FECES! I think I'll get her a mini toilet or maybe some toilet paper for her birthday. Or better yet... a gallon of Pepto-Bismol.
I had to call Bellsouth to get tech support for my email addresses. I won't even go through the procedure, except that I was redirected at least 4 times. I was asked once what email client I use (and "Thunderbird" confused the crap out of the poor guy), 3 times what modem I have (and once for its firmware version), 4 times what operating system I use, 8 times what my phone number is, and countless other useless things. These useless questions came after I told them I just wanted to get my email addresses back.
9:48PM
10 DAYS UNTIL OWNING!
I blame this on the Koreans... People should find better things to do that type lots and lots of kekeke's. Apparently it's a word now too. Note how Google corrected my spelling:
| Web | Results 1 - 100 of about 1,710 for kekekekekeke^^. |
Did you mean: kekekekeke^^
Very interesting.
Somebody reached my site and browsed around after clicking on a link from the following URL: http://www.sex-teens-versaut.de/hardcore-pussy/, which I purposely did not link to. Oh, but we all know who'll probably go there anyways. I know who (think four letters & psuedoK) would be there in an instant, but too bad she doesn't read my site.
Although I have a page for this, I feel that the one who searched for "animals,naked" is... dumb enough to deserve two embarrassments. Why would anyone be looking for animals,naked? And if you can't find animals,naked offline... you're really useless. Really weird too, I may add, if you think animals,naked (unless they're pelicans...) are more attractive than people.
Why are we not doing my two most favorite pieces of literature ever? First Swift's A Modest Proposal, then Tennyson's "Charge of the Light Brigade"?? I hate this! They're not really my favorites, but I like them more than what we're doing. I hope I'm not the only one who likes my evaluation of "The Eagle: A Fragment":
.... Also, thunderbolts rise; they do not fall. It would be difficult for the eagle to fall from the ground into a cloud at thousands of miles per second.
I want to thank Erica (or was it Ronjon?) who posted pictures on her Xanga and kept them to a reasonable size. People (person) who put up and won't take down or resize 11 pictures of 300KB each... seriously, this is not cool. 8 pictures totaling 220KB (and at the same quality and resolution) is much better. Thank you, Erica.
Security through obscurity is a major no-no in the world of computer/information security. The "members only" section of the (Ed's?) orchestra page is a classic example of security through obscurity. Too bad there isn't anything fun on there =( otherwise I'd know stuff I shouldn't, and that would be fun.
This caused me to laugh for a little while:
HolyCao86: wuts damn password again?
icydog1: suck
HolyCao86: oh
HolyCao86: i knew it was one of you common four letter words
HolyCao86: so i tried slut and junk
Yeah, so I should have started the Brit Lit earlier.
4:01AM
Sunday, April 18, 2004 (4 comments)
Everyone
knows how good Coke is.
And by "everyone," I mean every animal that is able to stand on two feet. And possibly a tail.
As you may have read on the front page... $10 to the first person who posts profanity along with his/her name on my home page (that's index.htm). Anyone interested in trying?
As a result of installing Maple on the iPod (this was a mistake), I stayed up from 2 to 4 trying and failing to do this one math problem last night. I should really have paid attention in class. Then I gave up, went to sleep, and tried it again after I woke up. It took me three minutes.
I noticed something unfortunate about this device. You know when you turn up your speakers really loud and don't play anything, you can hear this soft buzz/hum/static? Apparently the iPod's sound card is so bad that it generates this noise at a level that far outpowers any static my speakers can produce. That's sad. Of course, I do have a 4-channel (maybe it's 5.1... not sure) surround card, but it's probably worth more than the iPod.
In the receding stages of my Disease of Lung Death, I have just finished another tissue box. This is really sad. How many trees have I killed? That was either box #5 or box #7... I can't count that high so I forget.
My mom bought me a bucket of seaweed. This stuff OWNS. It's that dried stuff. This bucket is Japanese, it seems. I think when I usually get this stuff it's Korean.
I wish I didn't ever have to dream about being buried in Busy Work, the Busy Work turning into the Sahara, me being really dry, and then it rains and I'm about to drown. Then all (dangit, I typed ass again) of a sudden I feel the power of remotely activated teleportation summoning me out of the sand and into Dutter's classroom. Ok, so that never really happened, but you get the idea. It's likely that I will dream about being buried in red ink during zero period, though. I'm not sure if "during zero period" will be the setting within my dream or the time when I have the dream.
The ghastly Busy Work looks at me with a deathly grin.
9:16PM
Saturday, April 17, 2004 (5 comments)
I was going to leave for Jess's at 12, but my mom told me I can only stay for three hours. So she said I can go at 3 AM and be back around dawn. Of course she fell asleep before 3 and I left a little early. So here's the story of how I got out.
I enter the garage and dis-latch the garage door from the opener and manually open the door to avoid noise. Then I turn on the ignition, decide that the hum is too loud, and reverse out. Not surprisingly, as soon as I go into reverse, my car squeals. What to do.... I decide that I'll continue at least until I'm out of the garage, so I do that and shut the car off in the driveway, which of course is directly under my mom's bathroom window. I close the garage door, notice that any burglar could easily open it because it's not latched, and I choose to ignore this fact.
So I turn on the car again, and this time it squeals while it's in park. Now that's a first, and firsts always occur on the best occasions. Once again I shut off the ignition. Usually when it makes that noise while I'm driving, it's when I'm in a turn. So I try to straighten out the wheels... and my steering wheel locks. It clicks and will not turn either way any more. I thought, no problem, the wheels are almost straight now anyways, so I'll just drive off. When I actually try this plan, my key gets stuck in the ignition and will not turn. I panicked and went Ronjon-style in my head ("OH FUCK SHIT FUCK AHHH") and I even woke up my cat, who came scurrying over.
After five more minutes of worrying about my neck being chopped off for leaving an hour early, somehow I managed to force the steering wheel to one side and force the key to turn. So I squeaked my way out of there. Somehow, my mom did not wake up even given the perfect squeak timing.
Jess's was fun. Thanks for having us. I beat Gene at pool three or four times even though he's better than me because he kept hitting the 8 ball in. I had the best streak ever right after I got there and picked up a stick... I pocketed two in on my first or second turn. Unfortunately, beginner's luck only lasts so long, and I died after that. Until later when I got five in a row. I will never again in my life do that.
Then Dragos calls random pockets on the 8 ball and randomly manages to hit one. And of course that one was against me. Gay.
I got back from Jess's this morning and then went to listen to a Harvard guy talk. I fell asleep immediately. After getting home, I fell asleep immediately. When I woke up I was covered in sweat for no apparent reason and my neck was as wet as... water.
So I notice that everyone got normal results for their disorder test thing, and I'm the only one that got less than like seven Low's. I say the test is reversed and that I'm normal everywhere it gives a bad result (and that's everywhere).
After more engineering (aka stuffing and cramming things), my oversized iPod can now play CDs. I may even be able to fit one or two speakers into the little box. So Gene... can your MP3 player find infinite sums?
I installed Maple in the box in case we want to do computations while we're owning in our barn. You know... if the lethal concentration of horse crap in the air is CL ppm, and the vapor pressure of Maryland horse crap is keT, where T is in the temperature Kelvins, the outside barometer reads P, the volume of the barn is lwH, and there are n horses, each a distance ri from the barn door, the surface area of the approximately cylindrically shaped feces is πr2h, the horses relieve themselves once every t seconds, the wind velocity has magnitude s and blows in the θ direction...
Wow it feels like it's 10 AM... but it's not.
7:33PM
Thursday, April 15, 2004 (5 comments)
I now announce my desire to run for webmaster for NHS. Vote for me and don't run for that!
Major points go to the Korean guy (if you haven't seen this already) who died in October 2002 from 86 hours of computer games. Except for the poor execution, he is my hero. Less than 10 days later, a Taiwanese guy died from 32 hours, and there's also a sketchy story about a Chinese who died after 20 hours. But I don't really believe this last one, because 20 hours sounds like Busy Work... and that has to be more stressful than computer games.
The worst academic bowl question of all time must be the one today that goes... "If you have liked for a millennium, how long have you lived?" It was so bad. I HATE those questions!
Today's Homegroup email (which I have been unsubscribed from for maybe a year now) begins "Thanks for your responses and interest!" In fact, I am so interested that I have shown up many times in the past year.
People were trying to get Snoddy to go to prom, and I said "hey Miss Snoddy, I don't have a prom date..." She rejected me coldly. Heartless history teacher. No heart at all, not even one of stone.
I thought I was a computer geek. Jay proves me wrong:
FortTheabomb: Oh wait, your Barton is already unlocked...
icydog1: they're all unlocked
FortTheabomb: No.
icydog1: what?
FortTheabomb: It was discontinued after week 39 of 2003.
I looked at that quiz below again, and I have decided that it is entirely bogus. I do not have every disorder known to man.
99 pages of US chapters + AMSCO text + death = lots of work ahead. I don't think I'll even do the huge packet, though the Turner thesis was all over that other test... Well, here I go.
10:11PM
Apparently really weird rumors go around about me. Today I heard from my mom that Ed likes me so much that he stepped down as president of some club and let me run it instead. Who made this one up? I mean, I guess I can deal with it if someone thinks I'm taking 8 AP classes, because that isn't too far from the truth. But this is like someone asking me how I manage a >4.0 GPA with 8 "sub-level" (Dutter terminology) classes.
So speaking of sub-level... someone (I think Fanoe) told Mrs. Dutter that advanced algebra & trig is an honors, +0.5 class. She said "WHAAAATTT!?!?!?!" and complained about it being an on-level class. Then someone mentioned that algebra III is "on-level," and she said, "no! That's sub-level!"
And also speaking of sub-level: snowsfoot: do you know matt haddad's scrn name?
Uhhhh................................ I got raped by this thing:
| Disorder | Rating |
| Paranoid: | High |
| Schizoid: | Low |
| Schizotypal: | High |
| Antisocial: | High |
| Borderline: | Very High |
| Histrionic: | Moderate |
| Narcissistic: | High |
| Avoidant: | High |
| Dependent: | Very High |
| Obsessive-Compulsive: | High |
| -- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! -- | |
Yeah................ uhhhhhhhh.....................................
For each of these descriptions, one or maybe two of the points make any sense, and the five or six remaining items are like "you waste your money" or something equally stupid. Except for avoidant, for which most of the description seems to fit. I'm a little OC too.
1:02AM
Wednesday, April 14, 2004 (5 comments)
Well... I was going to sleep early tomorrow, until I remembered that we need to practice a few thousand more questions at nationals. Without wasting paper, of course. I got Cardboard Box (Portable) 1.1 ready for nationals: 12 x 9.6 x 6.1 inches (0.4 cubic feet), all crammed into an Amazon.com box that some books came in. Maybe I'll put up some pictures later. Unfortunately, it's still the same old 166MHz machine. I've stuffed every open space in it with cardboard to prevent things from sliding around, so I can't risk anything faster. Cardboard dust/bits are too flammable.
I think I'll set this up in my room. It's pretty easy to carry around with that 13" monitor I have, if I ever want to move it back and forth. I think I'll use it as an oversized (by about 120 times) iPod and play music in my room with it. Now all I need is a 500 foot Ethernet wire or a hole in my wall and a 50 foot wire.
Oh man Gene's so dead for the email he posted for his last comment: chompeyssdodavidssister@lesbian.com. Why are there two s's at the beginning?
To everyone with stuff on my server - stop linking to the d2g site. The Walton orchestra site should update its links. And Gay Ronjon! Your dumb Simpsons background constitutes about 50% of the hits to the old site. Almost all of the rest is from search engines. So that puts you at the intelligence of a search engine.
Or actually, maybe the intelligence of the (at least one) visitor that came here from a link on a porn site. That's very discouraging to me. Not only are a large portion of my random visitors coming here from search engines to look for porn, but now I also apparently have a permanent link to my site from a porn site.
For the last few days, I've been trying unsuccessfully to keep myself awake in math. I don't understand why I'm so sleepy in there. I wasn't so bad before spring break. Today we did more learning than we've done all year, and I missed it. That is just wonderful. I wake up and see Sigma something integral something = ln x. Death?
Alright... so in the morning, Bryan tells us that she's giving bonus points for prom pictures. I protested and asked whether there is something else I can do to get these two points, and she told me repeatedly that I don't need the two points and that I already got two for the spring break picture and that some people didn't get that. Well hey, whose fault is it if you didn't take a picture over the break? Whose fault is it if you don't want to dig $500 more into debt for prom and your mom won't let you go anyway? So I asked CiCi to take a "prom picture" to me and she bared her teeth and snarled at me, which I didn't expect. So back to talking to Bryan. As I talked to Ms. Bryan, I made certain and was consciously aware the entire time that I did not mention or even hint at taking away the two points from everyone, because that wouldn't help anyone at all.
But I guess she got annoyed at me and so she's not giving those points anymore. I'm sorry for asking, but that was totally not my intention. I thought about saying something when she told me she's going to de-offer those points, but then she would have just gotten really angry and screamed at me something like "SO WHAT THE ---- DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?? I offer them, you're not happy, and then I take them away, and you're still not happy!! Get away from me! RAA RAA!!"
5:31PM
Tuesday, April 13, 2004 (6 comments)
16 days left!
We should refrain from calling chompies the "orange" people or race. This implies a mixture of red and yellow, and uhhh... when's the last time you saw a mix of native American and East Asian? That would be really strange. Wait, actually, when's the last time you saw a native American at all in East Cobb?
McGeehan was the English teacher in 8th grade at Dickerson. She left or was fired after only one year of teaching there. The lady that really looked like an ostrich was the ISS lady. Charles and I came upon this subject too, and neither of us could remember her name.
<-- Gene, I saw this advertisement on Sparknotes.com and thought of you immediately. Sounds like physics, no?
So I'm walking out of AP US today, and just before I'm out the door, Miss Snoddy hollers at me, "hey David, your site isn't working!" I don't know what was wrong, because it worked when I tried it an hour later. Anyways, then I hear that when she's trying to put on the video at the end of the period, people get a glimpse of my site as it gets shown for little while instead of the video.
Readjusting to school is so bad. I'm falling asleep in all of my classes, and in fact I even fell asleep for a few minutes before class in physics. Going from 14 hours a night to whatever I get now... doesn't work.
Think I can go to sleep before 10 tonight?
8:43PM
Monday, April 12, 2004 (3 comments)
Yesterday, Charles and I talked about good times in Ms. McGeehan's class when we would play darts on the Cybiko. I don't remember this, but he told me that he kept forgetting to push enter to shoot and I'd often get up in the middle of class and make a button-pushing gesture across the room. And you know, every time a girl mentions that lady, or I mention her to any girl, the first or second thing that she will say is something about Ms. McGeehan's see-through clothing. That is so disgusting, so don't ever do that again. Every time I see that lady's face, I want to puke up brain matter, so don't even start with whatever else of hers that you can see. I will now vomit.
I asked the best question ever today. After a minute or two of thinking, I asked Gene whether Craig's going to prom. As you can see, my brain is always in a working condition.
Ms. Dutter hasn't found anyone for AP Environmental Science yet =(
Our school placed in the top 60 schools nationwide on the AMC (based on the top 3 scorers). So we get to nominate a teacher for some award. Who wants to write the "one or two paragraphs"? I hate writing.
Ok I don't feel like writing any more.
9:51PM
Sunday, April 11, 2004 (5 comments)
The recent name changes and stuff on these pages are going to kill a lot of search engine hits. I'm still wondering why Google cut me off their database some months ago. This site is almost impossible to find with Google now, but Dingting tells me that a long time ago it was on Google. I guess if white Korean dumb whore chompy Christians run Google and they read my site, then that could explain it. Otherwise, I'm at a loss.
If I ever get bored enough in a class, I'll be writing up a page for this site about chompies. But right now, I can't really think of anything I could put in that page. Maybe I'll prepare an observational study... something like, between which two periods do the most number of chompies gather in a particular area of the hall? Or, to what degree does each student in my Euro or Physics class fall into the chompy classification?
On the way back home today, Charles and I got lost in some neighborhood. His fault for wanting a "shortcut!" Then in the cul-de-sac, we saw this car with tape on the back in the shape of "SPORK BANDIT." That was easily the most amusing thing today. Then my mom calls, I pick up, and it dies when I push the button. My mom then proceeds to call many more times and to leave a message because I can listen to those with a dead battery.
After I got home, I mention to her the Discover article I read about fish and the accumulated toxins in them. She makes a seemingly random remark, something that can be translated as "those Japanese demons are so healthy because they've always eaten lots of fish!"
Chinese parents are always so racist, and it's hilarious.
After reading for a week, and then doing chemistry, I have found that physics is more fun than any of this. I wish I could be playing ping pong, though.
9:26 PM
For the first time, I'll let people know how many people actually go to this page. None of these figures include traffic generated by myself. During a week while people were gone, 3/30 to 4/5, there were 235 hits and 217 visits to this page (unxanga.htm). The week before they left, 3/22-3/28. there were 423 hits and 341 visits. I'm not sure what a "visit" is, but a "hit" is simply a object request. I think I'd get more hits if I wrote on my xanga, but I'll never do that.
I made a graph of weekly hits and visits to this page since August. Other than the dip and then huge jump (>100% increase) for no apparent reason around week 28 (beginning of February), and the last point, the linear regression fits very well. Both lines have r = 0.90. The expected increase per week is 9.1 hits and 7.6 visits. If the last data point is left out (Europe trips), then r becomes 0.93 and the coefficients become 9.8 and 8.2.
So if we integrate to find the area under the curve... lol
Between 6 and 3 weeks ago, there were 17 hits to the hacking tools page. Then there's 220 hits and visits in the past three weeks. This is more than the number of hits to the Snoddy or Dutter pages during the same period. That's rather odd, because I know very few, if any, of you would "give a fiddler's fart" about anything on that page, and certainly you'd find the teachers far more entertaining. I guess this means I actually made a page that's useful. Yes!
Hopefully, people don't do malicious things with the information I provide. I mean, the farthest I would go is harassing people like Billy by moving the mouse around, littering the desktop with random things like HTTP 404 shortcuts, or sending some farm porn to the windows folder where he won't find it. Far short of what could happen.
If you ever feel like commenting on an old post but think I'll never see it, then comment anyways. I've got a page that shows comments by when they're posted, and that's how I read the comments. Not by pushing the link on each post.
I've gotta get to bed. I shouldn't have stayed up an extra 45 minutes doing calculations during spring break.
Then when I get up, I'm going to go do that DBQ with Tricia and probably be surrounded by gayness again. Hopefully not, though.
1:13AM
Saturday, April 10, 2004 (5 comments)
I'm totally with Charles on this tanning thing. It doesn't matter at all to me whether a girl is tanned or not, unless she's baked to the point that she absorbs all incoming light and her face looks like a coal lump. I am unfortunate enough to have to look at this in the hallways at school. And yeah, the orange stuff... ewwww. I've never thought that a girl was "too pale," not even the Goths. They're just plain ugly and no more needs to be said about them. What the heck is a Goth, anyway?
Last night my mom made me read on the couch upstairs. That wasn't going to work, with my grandpa and her watching TV. The show that was on had these two models talking about the most useless things ever, like how to properly sit and stand. One was from mainland China and one from [the province of] Taiwan. I expected and immediately heard this from my grandpa:
"还是大陆的长得好看。"
Mainlanders are still prettier.
And I thought I was disorganized... HOLY CRAP this guy [link removed] owns! He has totally redefined "messy."
Also from bash.org is the best poem of all time. I hope you get it...
Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
All of my base
Are belong to you.
I was supposedly taken off the Homegroup mailing list about a year ago. Today the email begins "Dean can provide the fried rice..."
So my mom got the mail from the 日本鬼子 and it looks like I got 6 honors night invitations. I should probably tell the school that I haven't lived there for a year.
Ronjon came over for some ping pong and we both made some of the gayest shots ever in ping pong history. He returned all sorts of gay shots that he wasn't supposed to, and I did some of the same. The dumb net kept acting gay too. It might let a shot completely roll up the side one time, then the next the ball would hit the top edge and slingshot into my face.
nik3lbak: i looked at what my parents are cooking for the party
nik3lbak: and my salivary glands went crazy
icydog1: salivary amylase!
icydog1: who do i sound like!
nik3lbak: lol
nik3lbak: not ronjon!
Also courtesy of Gene is this awesome line:
ManOfAwesome: i <3 david
And this is why I call you Gay.
10:42PM
Friday, April 9, 2004 (6 comments)
I'd like to give props to CiCi for writing the longest entry ever. That may be a record. I think it's a little longer than anything I've ever written on here in a day (and of course, these get really long), and it's two and a half times longer than my longest Ed-rant.
I called the College Board at 2:15 PM today to try to get my SAT scheduled for something other than June 5 because that's ARML day, and the answering machine asked me to call back during regular business hours Monday through Friday.
I also went to the Sprint place to ask for a new phone because my battery life is spectacular. It didn't even take any convincing, but the only problem is that I have to manually transfer the data because they're stupid.
So continuing my story (below) before my mom kicked me off... on the way back from the dentist, my mom called the Japanese people who live in our house (in Glenside). Listening to these two talk, especially in person, is almost as funny as watching Gene on painkillers. My mom talks so funny, and this lady is even worse (can you imagine that?) and they're trying to communicate in English. My mom opened with a "Do you got my message?" in the usual funny accent, and then talked about something that I gave up trying to listen to.
Then five minutes before she hung up, my mom says, "so I will pick up the mail near the front door" and she just keeps saying stuff like this, reiterating the "front door" for the next five minutes before she hangs up. And by "five minutes," I mean 10+10+10+5+5+2+2+1+1+1+1+x minutes, where x represents all the minutes lost when I lost count =) But it was necessary, because last time, my mom told her a bunch of times to open the back door and the lady said ok a bunch of times... and the back door didn't get opened because the lady pretended to, but was unable to, understand something in the incomprehensible sentence "please open the back door."
They might as well talk to each other in Chinese or Japanese. Either way would be better than English.
Here's an interesting thing that I just came across. I haven't ever really thought of this until I wrote out the conversation below, but now that I think of it, it amuses me. I never hear older generation Chinese refer to a 日本人 (Japanese person), but rather, always a 日本鬼子 (Japanese ghost/demon/evil spirit). So for example, there are never Japanese people in our old house, but always one or more 日本鬼子.
Well hey, at least I don't say that.
5:17PM
On the way to the dentist, I had the expected conversation with my mom:
Mom: 昨天晚上谁在我们家？
Who was at our house last night?
Me: Ai.
Mom: 谁啊？
Huh? Who?
Me: Ai.
Mom: 爱？那国家的人？
Love? What country is he/she from?
Me: 日本。
Japan.
Mom: 啊？日本鬼子!？
What? Japanese Demon!?
Me: 对
Yeah.
Mom: 矮不矮？
Is he/she short?
...
So after that, the dumb lady at the dentist's place takes that suction thing and jams it into my gums and cheek. By pulling my cheeks down, I was reminded of... yeah.
My mom's kicking me off now.
10:32AM
Thursday, April 8, 2004 (8 comments)
Ai just left after some extreme ping pong (well, not that extreme). I think "ten more balls" or "five more balls" or "one more ball" is some kind of Japanese code for something that I haven't deciphered yet. Hahah I'm just playing with you, Ai.
Poser. Look at the name of this thing. What a lamer.
I had a dream last night that it was April 25th. And you know what's four days after that! YES! Why won't time go by more quickly? 21 more dumb days. I just can't wait for us to be slaughtered in the first round and lose to Alabama or Kansas or Guam or some other dumb place.
I'll be like Charles and post some lyrics of what I'm hearing. I don't know if I'm getting these right, because I'm just typing what I think I hear:
One day every tongue will confess you are God
One day every knee will bow
Still the greatest treasure remains for those
who gladly choose you now
This is what happens when I allow Winamp to run away doing goofy things that it shouldn't, like play all my songs on random. That song is far superior to the crap rap that I have, though. And since I don't ever delete songs... well... awesome songs like these show up too:
起来！不愿做奴隶的人们！
把我们的血肉，筑成我们新的长城！
中华民族到了最危险的时候，
每个人被迫着发出最后的吼声，
起来！起来！起来！
我们万众一心，
冒着敌人的炮火，前进！
冒着敌人的炮火，前进！
前进！前进！进！
Those two songs don't do well next to each other. It's like drinking Coke with school food. It almost reminds me of hearing a Christian song and then a battle march.
Excuse my French, but seriously, what the fuck? This is in under 72 hours...
11:58PM
Welcome home, everyone!
I was surprised that the Spain people even got to go in spite of the fact that something blew up and killed people within 500 miles of where they were stopping. School people always complain about "liability" issues and I thought wrongly that it would stop them this time, too.
The beginning of Chapter 6 in Angela's Ashes says "... there is a German Jew who is upsetting the whole world with his ideas on parallel lines."
I can't believe there's a reference to that in this book. I can think of David Hilbert and Bernhard Riemann (he's a bit old though) who would both fit into this description except that I don't know if they're Jewish... Emmy Noether was a German Jewish mathematician but I don't know if she did work on parallel lines... and this is going to bother me. Ahhhhh help me, Dragos!
Angela's Ashes just gets funnier and funnier.
I would like to take part of Erica's comment on Charles's Xanga, frame it, and hang it up in my room. The entire thing was superdense with awesomeness, but I thought this was the best. Anna has never been given a better name:
take venus and serena...no one ever called those girls skinny (Amazon is the more popular term) and they OWN skinny anna pornowhatever
3:57PM
Wednesday, April 7, 2004 (5 comments)
OMG I am like sooooo fat. I weigh 78 pounds now and for my height (5' 5"), that's hoooge. My mom yelled at me yesterday because my grandma died from eating too many pennies and she was sad and we have these family issues because our faucet leaks gooey stuff (is it water?) and holy crap like my boyfriend and I totally had an argument last nite about rabbits and that made me cry on my pillow. Why does he have to be so insensitive? How can he not know that there are pink rabbits around here? And then when I saw the dead dog that David ran over I wanted to cry some more. I think people should be nice to little kyoooooooooote animals and not run over them for no reason. It's not their fault that they're dumb like me and like running out in front of moving vehicles. But then today I went shopping with my gay friend Ryan and everything's better now because I luv shopping and we both got this HOTT thong and tried it on which made us really happy!! Then he drove his HOTT car to diz other place where I got a reeeeaally cute sell phone cover!!! It's one of those fuzzy things that are really cool! I'm so happy! Then later today I went to church, and I decided that anyone not Christian is going to hell, and I said my prayers, but all I could think of was this guy who's name I don't know and he's really HOTT and I totally want to do him right now. *chomp chomp*
Now take that and add bad spelling and [worse] grammar and some of these ~~~ and a few of these ^^ and maybe one or two >< and some funny colors and you're set! I would have done all of this, except that I can't tell what I'm trying to say if I do, so I didn't. The phrase "moving vehicles" may be inappropriate word choice. It might be more appropriate to use the term "kars." Some of the sentences in there still smell strongly of... me, but I didn't want to try to go through again to edit them out for fear of my eyes melting and brain boiling.
Well, I tried my best to not anger anyone in particular, Yük excluded, with that. Sorry if I offended you. But really, stop with the weight. Even the Devil doesn't complain about it, and a seismograph can detect her weight to within 5% if she's moving.
I assume that Gene's comments were referring to stuff like the above. I must agree that the last post was extremely useless though. Just like Pop in Angela's Ashes. How many times has she called him useless? That's like three references to literature I've made this year, which is definitely a record.
I'd like to ask Eva (and other people) to post comments with "Eva" instead of "me" in the box labeled "Your name" because it's hard to figure out which "me" is which. Now there'll be like 15 people posting as "me" just to screw with me. Oh well, I'd do it too... I mean, I'm basically asking for it.
I got a mailer-daemon error from Vanderbilt saying that I attempted to send an email to an address that doesn't exist at their server. The returned email had this as the body: "our photo, uahhh.... , you are naked!" There was a virus in it, too. Some fag is spoofing my email and spamming people... great. This is going to make Bellsouth really happy. They'll probably send their goons after me in a few days. Oh, and my parents will be happy when they hear from BS that I've been sending porn and viruses in spam. Awesome!
Uhh, I just though of something worse. What happens if by some random stroke of antiluck, my parents get a really bad spam from my [spoofed] address? That would be really ugly, and trying to explain to them email header spoofing would be like trying to teach my mom English, or in other words, a massive failure.
Wow, how'd I write so much? That wasn't supposed to happen.
5:55PM
I kinda want to make a calendar thing to the left instead of just an ugly list of files, but either I'd have to make like 15 months of calendar, or I'd have to make one of those scrolly things with Next/Prev buttons that I hate because it takes forever to get anywhere. Or I could use a drop-down menu to make a selector thing, but I hate those too, not to mention that I'm incapable of making the thing work.
I went through some of the old pages on this Un-Xanga today and found interesting stuff:
I still do not know what this rumor below was about. Would someone like to enlighten me?
Monday, March 31, 2003
Apparently there's some rumor going around about me and CiCi, and she knows, but won't tell me.
GRRRRRRRRRRRR it's gonna bother me forever.
What happened here? Not enough persistence of memory?
Saturday, June 21, 2003
Mary forgot my last name.
Here is the first recorded instance of the Bryan equation:
Thursday, September 17, 2003
Ms. Bryan is the devil and her work is the devil's child.
And then the effect of Palms (good old Palms... and GHP) on my stomach. Note how I can eat practically half a watermelon along with other stuff before Palms happened to me, and then note the results of attempting to eat only 1/4 of a watermelon alone as a snack afterwards. The pain was so bad that I can still remember it.
Sunday, May 18, 2003
Wow my stomach is owning me. I just ate 14 slices of watermelon. And a dinner, and 10 crab legs.
Sunday, July 27, 2003
Today is the first day that I have ever eaten so much watermelon that it has caused me to collapse
on the floor trying not to barf it all up. I was on the ground for about 10 minutes. I don't know
how that happened, but I have a feeling it has to do with not having enough real fruit at Palms.
After eating 1/4 of the thing (which I usually can eat with no problem) my stomach started hurting
but I kept eating (remember that this is the first taste of watermelon I've had since a long time
ago). Then holy crap I had the most massive stomachache I've ever had.
Warning: One of the most useless rambles ever follows:
NVIDIA is and has always been near or at the top of my favorite companies list. There is no company that I know of who can compare with the quality and features to be found in its frequent and easily accessible driver updates. When I say features, I mean both the sheer number of additional functions and also the usefulness of them. Almost all companies will only put a naked driver in the driver package, and not any cool stuff. I get just about everything I could ask for from these guys. And of course, since they are drivers, they are inherently free. The performance that I get out of their hardware is also unparalleled by anything else I've ever used. They never cease to amaze me with the stuff they put out. Anyways, next time you're looking for a video card or motherboard, you don't have to ask me which company I recommend.
By the way, I used ATI (a leading competitor) drivers once, and I hated them. They were obtrusive, clumsy, unstable (... illegal operation and will be shut down...), and resource-fat. Their attempts at adding useless features were bad too, because they just got in my way and ate up a lot of memory while I hunted for ways to kill them. I also like how they have copied NVIDIA's driver search page (ATI/NVIDIA).
12:43AM
Tuesday, April 6, 2004 (3 comments)
So Tech got owned as predicted, but they did almost make an impressive comeback. How did they get to the finals?
Frisbee today was the most tiring thing ever. I sucked today even worse than on Friday. I was greeted like this, by a Brian (sp?):
Brian: Are you David Zhang?
Me: Yeah.
Brian: Oh I saw your site making fun of people!
So this is how people know me. Awesome!
So who should I make fun of next? Have you noticed that when there's nothing to write about, I usually just make fun of Ronjon? lol
I accidentally ran over a dog on the way home after dropping off Gene. This raises the count to three. Well, I'm not sure if this one died, because I didn't run into it head-on like I did the other two. So the kill count is more like two and a half. Kristen will be very pleased.
You know what I really hate? When people -- well, never mind. It'd probably be better for me to not say.
6:49PM
Monday, April 5, 2004 (5 comments)
Wow... my computer runs so fast now. I should format more often. Not really.
I got a call today from 555-555-5509 while I was driving to Walton to meet with the people going to SciTrek. So I thought, ok who the gay is screwing with me this time?!? It turned out to be some of the people in Austria having fun by not being in East Cobb. At first, I thought Tiffany's "guess who it is?!" was Erica C getting ready to say "GET YOUR DUMB SELF OVER HERE NOW!!" because Ronjon and I were a few minutes late meeting with them.
One thing that really baffles me about girls is how even if two girls hate each other, they can (or at least try to) hide it. Although they are really nasty behind each others' backs... This doesn't seem to happen as much with the guys. I mean, look at Ronjon and me. We don't even try to conceal our hatred of each other. We just insult each other in person. It's just like "I HATE STUPID INDIANS!" or "I HATE YOU AND YOUR DUMB CHINESE FRIENDS!"
More basketball tonight. To make my mom happy, I've gotta read some of that book for lit now.
6:57PM
Sunday, April 4, 2004 (6 comments)
I forgot to tell the story of Ronjon and the red light yesterday. He's driving up the hill on Timber Ridge, and it's green. So he floors it, and it turn yellow for about 3.2 nanoseconds before turning red. Of course he's nowhere near being in the intersection when it does this, but like a man, he goes straight through it. Like a man, until he sees the cop and starts the true Ronjon "OH SHIT OH SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK SHIT SHIIIIIIITTT!!! OH FUCK!!! FUCKKKKKKKK!!!!"
Yeah. The cop was at the intersection, on the side of Roswell, with his lights flashing, probably from pulling over some guy who had just left a minute or two ago. He turns off his lights and follows Ronjon for what seemed like 5 miles, because it took around 10 minutes for Ronjon to get to the next intersection at that incredible speed. All this time, he's going "OH FUCK OH FUCK OH SHIT!!!!"
The cop turned into the next neighborhood, probably because he couldn't stand driving behind Ronjon anymore at 5.3 mpm (meters per millennium) on Roswell.
The end of Wendy's comment makes no sense. Read the beginning and end of this snippet:
how many times you & Ai were alone... in the dark backyard... numerous times.
The "many times" consisted of only one time, anyways, and that was for like 30 seconds. And what were you saying to Ai and Dave... while glancing over at me every few seconds?
I formatted last night/today. The first time, Explorer broke. Then the second format was killed by gay Norton. The third time, I got BLASTed. I was too annoyed to do it again though, so I didn't try to reformat again. Somehow, Blaster managed to kill itself. So I'm not going to post much. Back to installing all my stuff.
11:59PM
Saturday, April 3, 2004 (6 comments)
I watched a basketball game today. Actually, 2 of them. That may be a record for me.
I was originally not going to write anything today because I'm in the middle of the reformatting process, but being at Wendy's house was too funny to not tell.
So we get there and Ronjon does the extremely old "hey you have a dickfor on your head," to which Ai gives the standard first-timer response. And then "I really need to know!" Eventually, this resulted in the appearance of a dictionary. It was awesome. I'll stop making fun of her now. Well, except one more thing. I definitely won the pickle eating contest by default because she gave up and made me stop eating. And I can feel the plasmolysis from the massive amounts of sodium killing my cells right now.
Ronjon and Wendy disappeared way too many times into places like the dark street, an unknown place, and her room.
11:43PM
Friday, April 2, 2004 (1 comment)
Yesterday, I got a spam dated April 6, 2004, and another one from 1969. Dang, that one took a long time to get here. What kind of slow computer was sending emails to me back then?
I showed Dutter the deportation letter, but by the time I got to her this morning, she had already heard about it... from Ms. Martin! Any guesses on which teacher I'm going to own on Monday? Not really... I love Ms. Martin because she's awesome.
You know the signs of an awesome teacher? Well, during lunch, I saw Coach Hawkins and we greeted each other. Then we looked at each other blankly for 2 seconds, and we synchronized a "READY FOR THE BREAK?" That was awesome. Exact same speed from start to finish. How does that happen?
The percentage of 5's on the AP English Language exam (7.4%) is second lowest only to US government, at 5.7%. This is so encouraging.
After frisbee today, I found that my car had been written on with lipstick. I suspect that a short giggly Asian girl is the perpetrator. Unfortunately, she won't confess directly.
Why did I just cough up something that tastes like butter? Uhhhh.....
Now, I'll let you examine some of the conversations I have with McLeod and then let you draw your own conclusions:
First two lines of AIM thing:
LuLu436: hey jerk
icydog1: whore
Me: What? K initial? Huh? V final?!? I don't get it. (I was
not being sarcastic)
McLeod: I hate you.
Me: Hey McLeod... my car window didn't actually get smashed--
McLeod: I hate you.
LuLu436: you were so cute today playing ultimate with your little arms
and legs
icydog1: i hate you
LuLu436: hates YOU
LuLu436: but who doesn't , really?
icydog1: i'll kill you
Me: Hey McLeod!
McLeod: I hate you.
Then she tells me she's going to come over, because, you know, I'm a bit lonely right now. Then she signs off. What am I to make of this? hahaha
I think I'll go to sleep pretty soon, and then wake up at like 5 in the afternoon.
By the way... for you fools out there, my rear window didn't actually get owned. But thanks for caring anyways. And if you were smart like CiCi then you'd have noticed that that's not [even close to] how I would write if it had actually happened. I would probably have exploded and went out for a day or two of revenge before getting on my computer for anything.
10:18PM
Thursday, April 1, 2004 (6 comments)
Since I seem to be giving the wrong idea to people (when Gene doesn't get what I'm saying, I know I have a problem), I think I'll clarify.
It's kinda like what someone told me about the SAT. It can't help, but it can certainly hurt.
I'm in a mocking people mood and feel like making fun of some things, like these surveys themselves. The only reason I wrote it was to mock people and what they do. This survey thing does not in any way say "if you meet these requirements then I probably like you." And I don't find attractive the fact that a girl does not smoke, does not drink, or does not do any of the other 11 things. It just means I won't vomit n times for each time I see her.
Actually, The Vomit Inducers is a far better title for that list. But I was asked to create a perfect girlfriend thing, so there it is. Just don't treat it as such, if you are going to think "David likes any non pothead girl who wears clothes."
11:27PM
After careful deliberation with Ronjon, the two of us have concluded that Ronjon, Gene, and I are the only sane ones left on the planet. However, none of us can say that Dragos is insane, so this makes the science bowl team the only sane people left on this insane planet.
So after this conspiracy by CiCi and Ai to make me make a perfect girlfriend survey, I have come up with the following with the help of Gay:
THE PERFECT GIRLFRIEND
- Does she sniff?
- Does she drink?
- Does she smoke?
- Does she shoot up?
- Does she act like a man?
- Does she carry condoms?
- Does she regularly give birth?
- Does she screw on the first date?
- Does she wear 2 micrometer long skirts?
- Does she wear makeup that even wedding cakes envy?
- Does she do nothing but talk about how hot other guys and girls are?
- Does she wear shirts that make Yujing's ears look like Laurasia and Gondwanaland?
- Does she usually have her legs so far apart that a standard protractor can't measure the angle in between?
(#12 refers to the two pieces of the supercontinent Pangaea)
After several hours of deep contemplation, I have decided that I would be the first to answer this deep and insightful survey. My answers look like this, but please note that there may have been a miscount and that these answers are not official for 48 hours.
- No.
- No.
- No.
- No.
- No.
- No.
- No.
- No.
- No.
- No.
- No.
- No.
- No.
11:16PM
When I walked out to my car after school today, I found it a mess. Some idiot had broken the rear window and taken my umbrella, tire pressure gauge, and Adam. I mean, at least take something good if you're going to break my window. So I drove home like that and allowed my mom to get very angry. She was very happy about that, especially the day after my ticket.
Recently, I've been populating this page with what other people say because I'm too lazy to think of content of my own to write. Since this is already on Eva's Xanga anyways, I might as well post it as well:
Eva: wuts longest time u've gone for before?
Me: over two hours
Eva: tryin to get it up?
I don't know how she caught me that badly. I mean, I thought she would have nothing to say, but somehow I did not see this coming. I don't think anyone has ever pummeled me this badly. Ever.
I'm still working under the assumption that Mrs. Dutter does not read my site. Tomorrow, as a late April fool's joke (she left early today) I'm going to give her a letter that will completely own. A few people asked me to make a copy available, so it's posted as a Word file. April 30 is the second day we're supposed to be in DC, so she'll like that a lot.
Mrs. Pepple told me to "get some sleep and have fun" over spring break. I don't know about having fun, but I'm sure I'll get plenty of sleep.
This is from the AP chem acorn book. Death. Essays? "During these last 50 minutes, students will answer a question requiring the determination of products of chemical reactions and several essay questions." They don't count for very much, though. I think each essay (somewhere between 1 and 3, I'm not sure) is worth a little over half of what a standard free response question is worth.
Gene got mad at me when I refused to believe that 95% of AP English Language test takers scored a 5. He stated the source of this number as the math genius of our school, the Donut Queen. According to the College Board, 7.4% made a 5 in 2003. There were 13.2% for stat (wtf, why so low) and 40.3% for Calc BC.
I'm going to take a practice chem exam now. Maybe I'll only do the multiple choice tonight.
9:17PM
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