Zhanga: March 12, 2004

The comments are at the bottom of the page. You can view old posts by clicking the months on the left sidebar. RSS feed.

Friday, March 12, 2004 (15 comments)

Is Ai encouraging me to trash Japanese people? Yesssss... *rubbing hands together in enthusiasm*

Mission possible (that name is SO dumb) is done and it blows. And the bottle rockets are locked in Dutter's room. Gene's going to die for this. I agree with Ronjon that people who do nothing are really annoying (the action, not necessarily the person). Can anyone explain why Craig (who isn't in the club) was over? Did I ask him to show up and do nothing but cause entropy? Even worse is when a parent calls about some bullshit "do you need any help?" and then when I say yes, I get totally denied because something about it will be too late. It was 8 freaking o'clock. Then this parent proceeds to ask my mom about something I lied about. Interesting, because my lie was a supreme example of this moron parent not understanding my very clearly worded English. Apparently "studying for Science Olympiad" (which I repeated once) and "studying for a test" (in one of my classes) are the same thing. Many thanks to Ronjon for staying a while and helping to clean up. It I were a girl, I'd say "YOU'RE MY HEROOOOO!!!" Oh dang, I did just say that.

Neither Mapquest nor Yahoo! have driving directions for this dumb North Georgia College and State University place. It's going to be so much fun finding the place tomorrow at 7. Their site says something about being on the right of highway 60 as it enters Dahlonega. Problem is, that highway does not pass through the city. At all. Unless it's the same as US 19, which is the same as GA 400. Rigged.

It's 11 and I'm waiting for Gene to show up. He's late.

I can't wait to go to an MRI room. All the condensed iron/steel particles will be attracted to the magnet and will shoot out of my lungs/chest, creating thousands of tiny holes in one side of me. Or there could be so many little pieces that my entire body may fly into the machine.

As I was riding with Ronjon back from Kmart and Radio Shack, I saw a hub cap on the ground. So we exited the car, walked onto Roswell, and picked it up. It now resides in my house (I think I lost it already) somewhere. It isn't damaged, either. Now I only have to get three more, and my car will have hub caps!

48 Days till ownage. Actually, I dreamt of picking up a TI-84 last night. But it didn't involve slaughtering all the teams in the nation. I'm still looking forward to this opportunity. Can't wait to pull a Stockbridge^-1 against that Thomas Jefferson school! Yeah...

Where is Gene? Oh, whatever. He can sleep outside in front of my door. I'm not waiting for him.

11:20PM

My basement smells like a deadly mixture of all sorts of flammable substances. WD-40 ignites very well, by the way. And I sprayed butane all over my fingers. I prayed to the Lord that they would not explode in a great mess, and that flying fingers would not poke my eyes out, and the good Lord has answered my prayers. (Sorry, I promise this type of construction will never occur again... I was too tempted this time.) And I hate the phrase "poke his/her/your eye(s) out," especially when middle/elementary school teachers use it. Seriously now, how many people have had to go running down the hall chasing his/her/your eye(s) because it/they got poked out by a paper airplane?

Vijay just left. When he was gone for a while (for some bufing, I guess...), Dragos and I did our usual supernerd things. You know, like putting a steel marble onto aluminum foil and then flaming the thing. The ball got so excited that it began jumping around and shaking violently. I guess you could take that two ways. Figuratively, or literally. Maybe it's one supermolecule and vibrated like those diagrams show.

After that got old, more fun happens. You know how candles are. They produce black residue. So the bottom of the foil became more like a sheet of black than a sheet of foil. Vijay shows up again after finishing his bufing, and one of the first things he does is pick up the foil. His hands became blacker than the Devil's heart after being thrown into a black hole. Oh wait! The Devil's anything is so massive that it would own the black hole, and if that weren't enough, (to use a cliché) to add insult to injury, the black hole would appear white in comparison to the Devil's heart. "But I digress." So he has this annoyed look on his face. Dragos and I think this is insanely funny. Unfortunately for Dragos, he was eating and drinking at the time. Fun orange pizza-popcorn-Coke colloid came (alliteration) out. Do you see what this close reading has done to me?!??! Mission possible is now contaminated with Dragos stuff. Maybe it will cause us to win.

I like how half that paragraph was about my least favorite people ever (Dragos & Vijay), and half was about my most favorite person ever (no clarification necessary).

I haven't even mentioned the best part yet: steel wool. It completely erupts into flames if any little current (like from a battery) is passed through it. SKEET. Sorry for the outburst of utter and unrestrained moronity. Actually, I sounded like Ronjon. You can smell some kind of steel oxide if you walk into that room. It gave me a massive headache. Does burning carbon in the presence of nitrogen create cyanide? Something like Fe(CN)₃? That would be immense fun.

Dragos suggested that for the astronomy event, the freshman doing it with me can make it his duty (or I can make it his duty) to keep me awake and to wake me up if I fall asleep. This will probably be more productive than making him do something with the period-luminosity relation for a Cepheid variable, anyways. I think that Coke will do all this and manage to raise my IQ 25 points (it always works for science bowl) as well as dilute any food which might (will) make me suck. Who knows, though? Maybe he's some genius.

This afternoon as I was leaving school, I saw Akbar and David Wu walking together. I say to Akbar, kidding (well, maybe not) "Hey Akbar! Where--" And lo and behold, before I got the " 's Eva" out of my mouth, guess who's trailing him by 10 feet?

Mrs. Dutter refused to allow us to do our bios for nationals. Not even the "hobbies include stepping in front of big tanks" part! Tyranny!!

Skeet (gay). I lost all my physics homework. Not like she ever looks at it though, so I guess it's not too bad.

As I start over learning to type, I have forced myself to completely touch-type. The result is significant drop in accuracy with only some speed increase when I look at the keyboard, as opposed to looking only at the screen. Rigged.

Featured person of the day:

1. I totally hate this person, apparently (who will now be known as "s/he").
2. I don't quite understand why I hate him/her.
3. I don't really hate him/her.
4. I don't hate him/her at all.
5. S/he does not have functionality of her knees and must stick his/her butt into Zeus's face if a pencil is dropped.
6. S/he would never buf people in a car. And by never, I mean s/he takes advantage of every opportunity available.
7. S/he has a twin.

Comment responses:

1. Silly sad panda. I was being sarcastic, silly. (alliteration, almost epanalepsis)
2. KT and Tim sound like me and Ronjon after I make some bad Indian joke.
3. So Ai does read here. I'll have to stop with the Japanese-people-suck type stuff then =(

But before I stop, I would like to mention that my grandpa complains approximately once every three days about how much he hates Japanese people. He even complains about things they did recently. Like some Japanese company offered refunds to American customers who bought their defective product, but did not offer this to Chinese customers. He was steaming for like two months.

Now on to Commies. Every week or so, he complains about Mao's rule. It's great. The last story he told was about how if you accidentally did something bad with a newspaper or anything with a Mao on it, you'd be jailed as a traitor. Like if Mao was on a paper on your seat and you sat on it. Or if you put a cup on a table, but you set it down on a Mao. Then my mom said that some neighbor got a radio and listened to some song, then after the song, the station identified itself as a Taiwanese. The family rushed to turn it off, and did immediately (apparently someone had heard). Then they got jailed for many years. This is why my family did not have a radio in China for a long time.

1:36AM

Show Comments »

« Hide Comments

Contents

Home Zhanga Funny Stuff More Funnies Random Pages External Links Search Contact