Theorems
Here are the proofs to 3 theorems that are pretty ownage. I can claim credit to none of them. The Girls are Evil theorem is all over the Internet and I don't know who it belongs to. The Work is Useless proof was found in some book, but I forgot what it was called. Credit for the Infinity proof is claimed by Andrew Fanoe and Greg Leo.
Infinite Infinities
1) ∞*∞ = ∞
Infinity times infinity equals infinity.
2) ∞ = ∞/∞
Divide both sides by ∞.
3) ∞ = 1
Simplify.
4) ∞/∞ = 1/∞
Divide both sides by ∞ again.
5) 1 = 0
Simplify.
6) 1*x = 0*x
Multiply both sides by a real number x.
7) x = 0
Simplify.
8) x*∞ = x*1
Multiply step 3 by a real number x.
9) ∞ = x
Simplify (any real number multiplied ∞ equals ∞)
10) We have proved that all real numbers equal ∞ (#9) and all real numbers equal 0 (#7). Thus, ∞ = 0 as well.
Work Is Useless
Given: Power = Work / Time; Knowledge is Power; Time is Money
1) Power = Work / Time
Start with the first Given.
2) Knowledge = Work / Time
Substitute Knowledge for Power.
3) Knowledge = Work / Money
Substitute Money for Time.
4) Knowledge * Money = Work
Multiply both sides by Money.
5) Money = Work / Knowledge
Divide both sides by knowledge.
6) Regardless of Work (as long as it is positive), the graph of Money vs. Knowledge will look like the one below. As Knowledge decreases and approaches 0, Money increases to infinity.
Girls Are Evil
Given: Girls take Time and Money; Time is Money; Money is the root of all Evil
1) Girls = Time*Money
Start with the first Given.
2) Girls = Money*Money = Money2
Substitute Money for Time.
3) Money = sqrt(Evil)
Write "Money is the root of all Evil" in equation form. sqrt means square root.
4) Money2 = [sqrt(Evil)]2
Square both sides.
5) Money2 = Evil
Simplify.
6) Girls = Evil
Substitute Girls for Money2.
Last updated December 5, 2004.
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