Mothers Against Videogame Addiction and Violence

A group of idiots known as MAVAV made a site. Because none of the "articles" were available at the time of this writing, I chose the Resources page to make fun of.

I hate this site so much that I feel compelled to point out the utter stupidity of every single word on this page, even though they may be obvious already. By reading the site (not just this one page), it seems like if I've ever played a violent videogame, then I am addicted for life. Therefore, I am addicted. The site is also anti-computers in general, and I no doubt fall into that category.

I hope you send them lots of hate mail. The email provided is contact@mavav.org.

My comments are in blue.

Videogames: The Frightening Facts

I'm scared already. Shivering, even.

Fact: Videogames aren't just for "fun" anymore, the videogame industry made a net income of $6.3 billion in 2002, surpassing even the movie industry. Developers profit and continue to take advantage of today's youth with cute, loveable, addictive, and recognizable franchise characters. A practice and strategy similar to those used by the tobacco industry.

Sooo... are videogames filled with "cute, loveable, addictive" characters or violent, hating, killing monsters? Can you equivocate any more?

Fact: Videogames have been proven to prevent the development of the proper social skills and interaction needed for a long happy and enjoyable life. Young gamers are prone to being burdened with depression and sadness all throughout their life

This is an interesting one. Videogames first came out in the late 1970's. Let's say an eight-year-old became addicted around that time. How do you know if they have "depression and sadness all throughout their life"?

Fact: Health studies have found that even those casual gamers suffer from low self-esteem and self-pride compared to their athletic and more socially accepted peers in their same age group. Young gamers were found to be more likely to become lifetime gaming addicts and becoming social outcasts.

"Health studies" my bum. What kind of studies are these? "Hey! You look like a casual gamer. Please rate your self-esteem and self-pride for me!" And of course, we have this "lifetime gaming addicts and... social outcasts" thing. It's good to know that MAVAV are superior to all others and can see into the future.

Fact: Hardcore gaming not only leads to videogame addiction and abrupt lifestyle changes, but to crime and felony as well. Hardcore gamers never buy computer videogames. Instead, downloading illegally copied videogames or warez is the only method acceptable by the underground. Buying a legit copy is grounds for abandonment by community groups. You may not be buying your child videogames, but they can illegally obtain them off the internet.

"[A]bandonment by community groups" = hahahahahahahahhaha

Videogame Addiction: What to Watch Out For

Symptom: Child spending numerous amount of time in their bedroom and at home
I like the "numerous amount of time." Also, there are plenty of things to do in a bedroom other than videogames. The "at home" part is even better. I think a lot of children spend "numerous amount of time... at home." If a child spends little time at home, that's probably more abnormal... duh.
This is a classic sign of a growing gaming addiction. The child spends the majority of his time at home in his bedroom, only breaking out of his base for food and bathroom breaks. This behavior is commonly known as a gaming binge which can last from a couple of hours, a whole night, and in some extreme circumstances, a full 24 to 48 hour gaming binge (occurring usually on weekends).

We highly recommend your child's bedroom be absent of all forms of electronic entertainment devices. This includes a home computer, and/or videogame console systems. It is best for all electronic entertainment devices be placed in a common area where a clock is present and adult supervision is available. If this is not at all possible, we recommend having your child's door remain open and be checked in on every hour. Parents should be extra cautious around the time of bedtime until morning.

Can you say "Nazi"? Every HOUR? Children need a little time alone, you know.

Encourage your child to be more active. Arrange for your child to go over to a friends house for the afternoon, setup a gathering party at your home, or even sign up your child for an after school sport or activity.

Symptom: Poor school grades
A typical report card by a troubled videogame player:

Computer Education	Excellent
English	Poor
Mathematics	Poor
Science	Poor
Social Studies	Poor
Physical Education	Poor

That was a rather ambiguous report card. And just because I like computers doesn't mean I have to be addicted to video games. Besides, I think I know a few "casual gamers" whose grades are not that bad in every subject.

Never assume drugs or otherwise is the problem for your child's poor academic performance. Videogame addiction is not to be under-estimated. It is a serious epidemic plaguing our children nationwide. We recommend getting professional psychiatric help.

This makes videogames sound like cocaine. Geez.

Symptom: Unusual "Role-Playing"
Massive Multiplayer Online Role Playing Games (MMORPG) is a digital escape from the real world for emotionally unhealthy and mentally unstable people. It is a place for computer enthusiasts and social outcasts to gather un-bothered and un-harassed by the realities of real life.

While the focus and idea behind MMORPG seems utopian and innocent, the emotional and mental wellness of the gamer can be severely affected: increased anxiety and irritability, argumentative, appetite and weight loss, impaired judgment, paranoia, sadness and depression, loss of interest in appearance, and sleeplessness

Ok, MMORPGs are retarded. I don't have anything to say here.

Videogame addiction has become so serious now that the mass-media now compares videogame addiction to alcohol and drug abuse.

Yeah, and by "mass-media" you mean MAVAV.

MMORPG's are the most addicting genre of videogames available and developers are selfishly aware of these statistics. Developers take advantage of the situation by charging people hefty monthly rates for their "services" and release mediocre expansion sets to keep the game play fresh. We caution parents to never hand out credit card information or sign up their child for any suspicious online and monthly services.

MMORPG videogames were recently labeled as one of the top 10 leading causes of students dropping out of high school.

What the hell? I can just imagine it now. A kid drops out of high school, and the principal asks why he dropped out. He replies, "I am addicted to a MMORPG, so I can no longer continue going to school." What kind of stupid statistics are these stupid MAVAVs throwing onto this site!?

Videogame Violence: The Hidden Dangers

Danger: Do videogames make people violent?
Yes. What was once a debatable question, is now fact. New research has concluded that videogame violence and behavior related violence are in fact closely related.

I like how every piece of "research" or "study" or other statistic is well supported and backed up. I like how names, corporations, or other identifiable information related to these "studies" are easy to find. I also like how everything is worded very clearly and unambiguously.

Danger: Do videogames teach people how to kill?
Yes. When videogames were linked to the Columbine high school shooters, a frenzy of new research was launched, in which, one team of researchers discovered that first person shooter games do indeed teach gamers with the basic knowledge of how to kill. This research arrived be so conclusive that the U.S. government Army [Were you were so addicted to pot that you didn't have time to learn English? That doesn't even come close to making sense.] developed a free videogame to be used as a virtual boot camp and killing simulator.

I think the "US government Army" has something to say about this. If you think that a mouse and keyboard are used as training for the US Army... you are a dolt. Our army doesn't learn to fight by clicking.

I can see it now. There is a screen of mountains and caves. The top of the screen says "CATCH OSAMA!" Then Osama pops out of one cave for a split second, and the trainee is instructed to shoot him. Yup, that would own.

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Last updated September 1, 2008.
2488 hits since September 25, 2004.

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