Dumb/Funny Stuff 3

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  1. "Ow! A mosquito just bit me on my little t — my little, ok you know how your feet have toes?"
        -Maylene

  2. Hanif is in a room with Me when he reads an IM: "OMFG I CAN'T STUDY WHILE LISTENING TO MING'S MANDARIN" (Ming is speaking on the phone somewhere else).
    Hanif: Ming has a Mandarin?
    Me: Dude, that's a language...
        -Hanif

  3. "How can a girl I know be this sexy? ...oh wait, I don't know her."
        -Hanif

  4. Isaac: "TITS!! I want TITS!"
    Hanif: "You have tits!"
        -Hanif

  5. "I'm amazed by your idiocracy."
        -Rosie

  6. "I thought negative six was equal to positive one."
        -Hanif

  7. AngeI0fEternity: daviiiiiiiiiddddddddddd
    AngeI0fEternity: friends do friends for other friends
        -Lilly

  8. "Well, she's going to not be eight years old... in a few years."
        -Maylene

  9. Tiffany: "How do you tell the difference between real drowning and fake drowning?"
    Alex: "Well, if they're at the bottom for extended periods of time..."
    Tiffany: "How can you tell if they're on the bottom?"
    [pause]
    Tiffany: "Oh... you can see through the water."
        -Tiffany

  10. Me: "I love this picture."
    Tiffany: "Me too. Your sister is so cute!"
    (It was a picture of my mom holding a three-year-old me.)
        -Tiffany

  11. "Girls don't go to the bathroom to pee."
        -Tiffany

  12. "Just aim between the legs."
        -Tiffany

  13. "I like it when it's raw. I like it hard."
        -Tiffany

  14. "Hey Link -- I mean, Tai." (Link as in Zelda)
        -Baishi

  15. "What the hell is pasta?"
        -Tai

  16. "Hey! My stopwatch! ... I mean my watch stopped."
        -Gene

  17. "Hey, Dan, for Roman numerals like tau..."
        -Jeremy

  18. "you" = Tricia, "here" = Georgia Tech
    HolyCao86: you need to come here,
    HolyCao86: youd attract guys like david to watermelon
        -Charles

  19. yujingjing88: WTF?
    yujingjing88: *what the fudge
        -Yujing

  20. "Yeah, and you can suck my penis. That's right, my P-E-N-E-S."
        -Gene

  21. Gene: "Time to read his Zhanga."
    Ronjon: "Whose Zhanga?"
    Gene: "Your mom's Zhanga my pants."
    Ronjon: "Did you just say 'Your mom's Zhanga I jizz on your face'?"
        -Ronjon

  22. Ronjon talking about Yujing's project with Tiffany: "Did you do all the work and then she put her name on it?"
    Yujing: "No actually, we shared the work pretty equally."
    [5 second pause]
    Yujing: "Well, I was on the bottom so she did all the work."
        -Yujing

  23. "I think I've gotten looser though."
        -Yujing

  24. "Dude, I'm really juicy right now."
        -Gene

  25. [Reading privacy sign in hotel room: "Insert into door lock."]
    "Insert lock into door. Oh wait. Insert door into lock. Oh wait. It's actually insert into door lock."
        -Gene

  26. "What's apple pieces? Pieces of apple?"
        -Gene

  27. Yujing: "Nice Folex."
    Gene: "Th-Th-You're welcome."
        -Gene

  28. Tiffany talking about ping pong (unfortunately): Yeah, after playing with David's big ball, I can't go back to the small ball. It's too weird.
    [2 mins later]
    Tiffany: When you go back to the small ball, you can't whack it...
        -Tiffany

  29. Jason: "We should go to some strip clubs. I'll buy you a table dance."
    Mr. Edelstein: "Somehow, I don't think that will be enough."
        -Edelstein

  30. "What are taste buds? Are they hormones, or are they glands?"
        -Ai

  31. Tricia is standing with her back to the door: "OMG, I thought you guys got me a nice Bath and Body Works box of lotion or something... or maybe something else, like a sex toy."
    [Everyone laughs because her parents are taking pictures of her from behind. Then Tricia turns around and is highly embarrassed.]
    Tricia's dad: "How would you know?"
        -Tricia

  32. "Don't Koreans know Chinese?"
        -Ronjon

  33. icydog1: wtf is a cute indian
    ChinkBoi101: huh?
    ChinkBoi101: ronjon?
        -Bill

  34. In response to a picture of herself that Mary sent to some guy: "lol, thx for remindin me that im not the biggest freak in the world lol"
        -Random Guy

  35. Ai is busy with a lollipop.
    Vijay (sarcastic): "Is that lollipop good?"
    Ai: "Ai/I wouldn't suck it if it weren't good, would Ai/I?"
        -Ai

  36. "We need to beat Edelstein this year. We need to get 100% sex -- DOH!! -- I mean, success, on the AP exam."
        -Domenico

  37. InnocenceWit0nus: i come in and the first thing i see is a giant penis
    InnocenceWit0nus: from Gene
        -KT

  38. Michael: the guy said the thing looked like a dildo
    Jennifer: "What's a... dildo? Dilly? It's a dairy queen ice cream popsicle. It's SOOOO good!"
        -Jennifer Ho

  39. "Cows aren't endangered, are they?"
        -Blonde Girl

  40. [22:01:02] HolyCao86: hey
    [22:01:03] HolyCao86: fuck
    [22:01:04] HolyCao86: i forgot
    [22:01:04] HolyCao86: nvm
        -Charles

  41. Bill: "Aren't you atheist?"
    Me: "Yeah, I'm atheist."
    Bill: "Why does your mom have one of those Christian fish on the back of her car?"
    Me: "You idiot. It says DARWIN in the middle. And it has legs."
        -Bill

  42. Charles: "Are you saying that you've had sex with Mr. Fleenor?"
    Leah: "All I was saying was that he's single!"
    Drew: "Did you have to wear a strap-on?"
        -Drew

  43. In the commons:
    Gene: "I HATE your sneeze!"
    Jess: "I HATE YOUR PENIS!"
    David Awadalla, at the table across from us: "I hate your penis, too."
        -Jess

  44. While robotically skipping PowerPoint slides about photosynthesis: "This is soooo uninteresting."
        -Greenberg

  45. Ronjon reads the Science Bowl 2004 page, which contains this:

    Ronjon: Amphibians have scales.
    [12 hours later]
    Me to Dutter: Hey listen to some of the brilliant things that were said last night. Uhh, "amphibians have scales."
    Ronjon: Who said that?

    So, eight months after he did that, he does this:
    ManOfAwesome: do amphibians not have scales
    ManOfAwesome: omg
    ManOfAwesome: nvm
        -Ronjon

  46. On birds mating: "In the lower life forms, the males do not have a real, technical insertion item."
        -Greenberg

  47. [An Academic Bowl reader asks for the name of  Filipino president.]
    "Was he a cannibal? Cuz there are a lot of cannibals there."
        -Bill

  48. [An Academic Bowl reader asks for a famous French epic.]
    "Bee-woof?"
        -Bill

  49. Gene: "Ai, how are you in bed?"
    Ai: "I wouldn't know."
    Gene: "Dave, how is Ai in bed?"
    Ai: "He wouldn't know. Why don't you ask someone who would, like Vijay?"
        -Ai

  50. Land snakes stay on land and water snakes stay on water. Right?
    "So if you take a land snake and drop it in the water, does it become a water snake?"
        -Random Guy

  51. "So the highest air pressure is at the bottom of the ocean?"
        -Drew

  52. Megan: "So hey, Mrs. Greenberg, how many questions are going to be on this final?"
    Mrs. Greenberg: "One hundred."
    Random person: "Why a hundred?"
    Mrs. Greenberg: "Because one hundred is an even number."
    CiCi: "Why not like, five, then?"
    Mrs. Greenberg: "Five is not an even number, dear."
        -CiCi

  53. "... like a mouth attached to a penis. SPEAKING OF THAT, Gene and I were talking..."
        -Ronjon

  54. TFduke14: i'm a t-shirt kinda girl
    TFduke14: oh god
    TFduke14: i just said that
        -Tim

  55. nik3lbak: you know whats fun?
    nik3lbak: typing google in google and then click im feeling lucky
        -Gene

  56. A-Bowl Reader: "Is that Gene with a G?"
    Gene: "No, J. I mean, G."
        -Gene

  57. TFduke14: what's gene li's least favorite type of school day
    niK3lbaK: what?
    TFduke14: EARLY RELEASE
        -Tim

  58. Ronjon, about the wound on his arm: "All the girls think it's sexy. Isn't that right, Jason?"
    Mrs. Martin: "Sounds like wishful thinking to me!"
        -Mrs. Martin

  59. Ronjon: "I saw Shaft this weekend."
    Tim: "How is that different from any other weekend?"
        -Tim

  60. Dumb Blonde (I don't actually know, but she's so dumb she has to be blonde): "Hi, I need you to look for a clock for me. It's shaped like a rectangle, but it has six sides. And it's got a pendulum that goes around in a circle."
    Tim: "We don't carry anything that defies mathematics and breaks the laws of physics. Sorry, ma'am, but a rectangle only has 4 sides, that's one of the things that classifies it as a rectangle. Did you mean a hexagon?"
    Dumb Blonde: "No...I meant a rectangle."
        -Dumb Blonde

  61. I'll paste this one exactly as Tim submitted it:
    [Dr. Camp is showing the Environ class another academically engaging video...this particular clip shows an antelope with huge horns having hot buttsex with another antelope.]
    5 Seconds of silence...
    Tim: "He's HORNY!!!!"
        -Tim

  62. (to Gene) x nO wEi x: i'd have yur dick in my hand b4 yu can say rape
        -Eva

  63. Williams, about Greenspan: "They say he's the second most powerful man in the country."
    Stephanie Buckland: "Who's the first?"
        -Stephanie Buckland

  64. Gene, about the cards he was dealt for a game of Hearts: "Why are my hands always so shitty?"
    Tim: "It's because you finger your asshole. Heh... heh... get it...? Hands... shitty? Heh... get it?"
        -Tim

  65. Some kid, noticing that I was in the wrong classroom: "Why are you here?"
    My loud mouth: "Yeah... we're going to talk about why India is better than China."
    Ronjon's facial expression: "You noob!"
        -Me

  66. "It feels long, but it moves so fast!" (an episode of The OC)
        -Allison Schall

  67. Me: "This is hard. It's so short!"
    Greenberg walks over: "Did it come?"
    This was concerning a stick that was too short for its test tube.
        -Mrs. Greenberg & me

  68. McWilliams: "What's another word for perpendicular?"
    Charles: "Orthodontal."
        -Charles

  69. "Watch out, you might get run over by the train tracks."
        -Davita

  70. Tim: "Yeah, I think the world record for the longest kiss is something like 29 hours."
    Ms. Martin: "Wow... how would they drink?"
    Dragos: "They'd drink saliva."
    Ronjon & Tim: "AMYLASE!!!!!!!"
        -Ronjon & Tim

  71. To Ronjon: "Let me feel your things." [a few seconds pass] "They're not very... firm."
        -Ms. Martin

  72. To CiCi: "I'll show YOU tiny!"
        -Yujing

  73. Me: "Ed says he'll picket for me in front of the admissions office."
    Ronjon: "Pick what?"
    Me: "Picket."
    Ronjon: "Pick what?"
    Me: "PICKET!"
    Ronjon: "Pick WHAT!?"
        -Ronjon

  74. KT: "Be there or be five by five." (square)
    Paul: "Huh? A cube?"
        -Paul Millard

  75. "I'm a rabbit. Ribbit. Ribbit."
        -Gene

  76. James to Kristen: "I mean, it just wouldn't fit in your mouth."
    Me: "Huh? Are we talking about Ronjon?"
    James: "Ronjon wouldn't have trouble fitting into anything."
        -James

  77. Ronjon, after activating his windshield wipers: "These wipers fuck. I suck."
    He meant to say something like, "Fuck, these wipers suck."
        -Ronjon

  78. Greenberg: "Animals have oviducts, but we have what?"
    Milan: "Tearducts."
        -Milan Bivek

  79. "But if you've ever watched anime porn, like Hentai..."
        -KT

  80. BaBYLuBx25: west point nom.??? whats west point?
        -Davita

  81. Ai: "So why are you always up so late?"
    Baek: "Well, sometimes I get too lazy to go to sleep."
        -Baek

  82. Jennifer: "Wouldn't that be, like, heavy and stuff? Fifty pounds? That's like seven bowling balls. No, wait... six."
    Eva: "Uhh Jennifer... a pound didn't actually weigh a pound..."
    Jennifer: "OOOOHH!!"
        -Jennifer

  83. Dr. Camp apologizes to Mary for running into her with her wheelchair, and Kenji laughs. Camp gets mad and Kenji claims he was laughing at the look on Mary's face.
    Dr. Camp: "Well of course she had 'this look...' she just got rammed from behind by this huge..."
    [words stopped by laughter]
        -Camp

  84. niK3lbaK: im having trouble thinking of guys
    niK3lbaK: to hook up with that is
        -Gene

  85. [Charles is trying to get the lid off his drink outside of QT]
    CiCi: Man, Charles, you just can't get that thing off.
    Tim: THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!!!!! HIYO!!!!
        -Tim


  86. Will, on Van Gogh giving his ear to a French prostitute: "It better have been the love of his life!"
    Ms. Martin: "You'd think he would have given her something else. AHHH!! I didn't just..."
    [Ms. Martin covers up her face with a folder]
        -Ms. Martin


  87. Drew: "So. You've been spotted in public with Shelley."
    Me: "Yeah..."
    [some useless talk goes here]
    Me: "Come on, she paid me. I'm tutoring her in math."
    Dragos, with a smile: "What kind of math?"
        -Dragos

  88. Overstreet on rape: "Yeah... the prison scene can get pretty ugly."
    Jess, immediately: "Of what movie?"
        -Jess

  89. "It's fun to, like, ride your butt."
        -Anna

  90. "Do you ever stop on the highway?"
        -Ai

  91. Charles, pointing to Mary: "She's bi."
    Mary: "You know it!"
    [3 second pause]
    Ai with a confused look: "Wait... is there such thing as a monosexual...?"
        -Ai

  92. "What's a plaque?"
        -Ronjon

  93. This is what happens when you use a random s/n to screw with me (props to Eva for thinking for me):
    taliBAM786: hey baby
    icydog1: hey
    taliBAM786: i wanna use you abuse you use u lika tissue and squeeze you
    icydog1: i wanna blow you like a tissue
    taliBAM786: oooh where?
    icydog1: my nose
         -taliBAM786

  94. "What do you stick in the butt?"
        -Ryan Yük

  95. Grebe [dramatically]: "There was this little boy who was in a car that was next to one of those cars with the DVD players and he saw pornography--"
    James: "AND HE DIED!"
    Grebe [laughing]: "Yeah, and he died. So anyways--"
    Awadalla [with HUGE eyes and a dropped jaw]: "Really? Did he really die? No, really?"
        -David Awadalla

  96. Milan: "Did you know that 1 in 15 lobsters are blue?"
    Charles: "All lobsters are blue; they turn red when you cook them."
    Milan: " Oh mmaaaannnn, I got lied to hardcore."
        -Milan Bivek

  97. "Now, I do things a little different from your other teachers. I assume that you're functional."
        -Greenberg

  98. "Hey, I'm Roger. I'm Ai's sister."
        -Roger

  99. To me: "Gene, you're so gay... uh... uh..." [look of shame]
    This was during lunch, after the APES period during which Gene and I swapped names.
        -Gene

  100. Hao, coloring a US map: "Hey, where's Rhode Island?"
    Matt with an exasperated look: "It's the only island around there!"
        -Matt Resnick

  101. Ai: "What's a bosom?"
    Drew: "You have a small bosom."
    Ai: "Well... you have a small...."
        -Ai & Drew

  102. CiCi's talking about how every guy has some kind of gay trait: "I think every guy we hang out with has some little homotesticle trait..."
        -CiCi

  103. Ronjon: "My dentist gave me a small toothbrush. It's reeaally small."
    Some teacher: "I can't understand that with that big mouth of yours!"
    Smyser: "YOU GOT SERVED!!!"
        -Smyser

  104. "Mr. E is going out with Eva?"
        -Paul G

  105. "I think your impairment is judged."
        -Eva

  106. nik3lbak: fucking bitch of shit
    nik3lbak: piece*
        -Gene

  107. "Hey! It's just like the ugly dumpling! Uh, duckling."
        -Me

  108. "Why is there roadkill on your... road...? Oh... wait... those are newspapers."
    (road = driveway)
        -Gene

  109. "OH MAN, the lings die when I kill them!"
        -Gene

  110. "He's nice to you because you're a girl. Well, he was nice to me too, but that's because I was a girl."
        -CiCi

  111. Charles says hi to James:
    HolyCao86: welll hheeEELLLLOOOoooo there SEXY lady *wolf whistle*
    HolyCao86: SHIT
        -Charles

  112. HolyCao86: you need an asian gene in you
    HolyCao86: liek genetics gene, not gene gene
    TFduke14: chaz, there will never be any gene in my body
        -Charles & Tim

  113. HolyCao86: whats a skeet?
    coolsport7777777: yeah whats a skeet
    [explanations here]
    coolsport7777777: i thought you go skiing with it
        -Brian Shieh

  114. coolsport7777777: just b/c my car can fly dosen't mean you have to make fun of it
    [...]
    coolsport7777777: and it wasn't flying
    coolsport7777777: it was hovering
        -Brian Shieh

  115. HolyCao86: so if you dig straight down, how far do have to dig b4 you get into another hemisphere?
    coolsport7777777: 3 feet
    coolsport7777777: ?
        -Brian Shieh

  116. Mewman13: i heard there were UFOs yesterday
    HolyCao86: oh yea i heard about the UFO sighting
    HolyCao86: that was weird
    CircleSoft 3000: yeah
    CircleSoft 3000: they were probably frisbees with LEDs
    Mewman13: i just heard about them
    icydog1: UFO?
    icydog1: where?
    coolsport7777777: oh ...that might be my car.........
    [a day passes...]
    HolyCao86: btw, i hear there were more UFO sightings tonight
    TFduke14: yeah
    icydog1: i heard too!
    coolsport7777777: that was my car.........
         -Brian Shieh

  117. HolyCao86: wait you cant digest gun?
        -Charles

  118. HolyCao86: wait so if your in austria, then what two are you in?+
    FortTheabomb: South and East.
        -Jay

  119. HolyCao86: ok, wait so are we in the northern henisphere?
    HolyCao86: im confused
    coolsport7777777: no we are not...
    coolsport7777777: we are in the western hemisphere
        -Brian Shieh

  120. "How much does it cost to light up your trees like that?" (stupid lightning bugs)
        -Me

  121. ManOfAwesome: who would service your mom when shes lonely?
    TFduke14: my dog
        -Tim

  122. Mary: "So we're going to watch porn together?"
    Guy: "Well, it's going to be hard for me."
    [silence]
    Mary: "Hard?"
        -Random Guy

  123. innocencewit0nus: party at Ai's tonight if you wanna go
    TFduke14: i'm going to a party elsehwere
    TFduke14: otherwise i'd be all over that like david on a math problem
        -Tim

  124. Dave: "Half Asians are always really hot."
    Ai: "You know who's the best example of that?"
    All: "Who?"
    Ai: "Wilcox!"
        -Ai

  125. Wendy: "SKEET is not SWEET."
    Ai: "Yeah I found that out..."
        -Ai

  126. Shelley's Mom: "Good song."
    Shelley: "Very. But it's sad."
    Shelley's Mom: "What, the words?"
    Shelley: "Yeah."
    Shelley's Mom: "What do they mean? That he banged her?"
    The song was Bang Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down).
        -Shelley's Mom

  127. Me: "It's really small, but everything else about it is good."
    Jason: "That's what she said!"
        -Me

  128. MsJaneDoe00: I Want To Be a Chompie.
    innocencewit0nus: ...
    innocencewit0nus: eww
    innocencewit0nus: why?!?!
    MsJaneDoe00: Because...
    MsJaneDoe00: Wait...
    MsJaneDoe00: I'm trying to think of a reason.
    MsJaneDoe00: Because I want to look like a Simpsons character.
        -Shelley

  129. ManOfAwesome: que pasa
    niK3lbaK: i just farted
        -Gene

  130. ManOfAwesome: id do a nude scnee with brad pitt
        -Ronjon

  131. Davita's dog Cookie lost her rubber ball.
    Tricia: "David, go find the ball for her!"
    Yujing: "David, just give her one of yours."
    Me: "No, I don't have -- oops..."
        -Me

  132. After scoring a point: "TIE GAME! 7-6! 6-7! I mean 7 all!"
        -Ronjon

  133. Billy: "Hey I'll call you when you get home ok?"
    Me: "You mean you'll call me when you get home?"
    Billy: "No, I said I'll call you when I get home."
        -Billy

  134. "I don't believe in fertilization."
        -Ai

  135. Jennifer: waz arson?
    Jennifer: is that a drug?
        -Jennifer Ho

  136. Roger Okamoto: i saw the last Friemds
    zidane182: that's really
    zidane182: heterosexual
    Roger Okamoto: what is that
        -Roger Okamoto

  137. "I would turn gay for Gene Li."
        -Yük

  138. "He was much angrier in the fall." (Drew)
        -Ms. Boyd

  139. To Gene:
    ManOfAwesome: kristen < you
    ManOfAwesome: you are a better gf
        -Ronjon

  140. Going through my phonebook: "Who's Lena Yang? Isn't she that annoying little..."
        -Eva
Last updated September 26, 2008.
4098 hits since March 23, 2006.