Dumb/Funny Stuff 1

Old stuff here. Page 1 is the oldest. Use the links on the left for navigation.

PaNdaFacE 00: argh rj, ur driving my NUTZ
-CiCi
icydog1: i have to take my sister out for a sex
icydog1: sec*
-Me
Mary: "Why don't you work here?" (library)
Me: "Cuz I'm not 16."
[she stares at me for 10 seconds]
Me: "Yeah I am."
-Me
Jogging in the rain:
Mary: "We're going to get pneumonia."
Grace: "No, that only happens in Africa."
-Grace Kim
Playing poker, and everyone is in dead silence: "I masturbated today."
-Drew
PiLlBuG 413: you should hook her and yujing up
(her = my sister)
-Tricia
"Oh I hate these, you can't tell if it's a 3-way mirror."
-CiCi
"She's cute." (pointing in mirror, talking about herself)
-Charles
We're playing Mahjong. Mary throws out a tile of 6 bing (6 circles). Eva didn't see what she threw out and asks.
Mary: "It was a 3 bing."
Roger: "No, it was a 6 bing."
[Mary sees that he's right]
Mary: "Well, if you cover up 4 of the circles, then it's 3 bing."
-Mary
"You can't cut with a knife..."
-Me
Xanga: it better not rain next year or imma be really POed.. boo hoo
-CiCi
nik3lbak: can i talk later? im sleepiong
-Gene
"Next time Dingting calls me, I'm giving him my number."
-Anant
Eva's doing a DBQ and sees part of a document that says the Gupta Empire's (~300-500AD) villages and cities had [political] "power." We had a little trouble understanding each other when we talked about that part... and 30 minutes later:
Eva: "Ooohhhhh!! I get it now!!"
Me: "Huh?"
Eva: "When it said 'power,' I thought it meant electricity!"
-Eva
Pepple: "When you burn something, you get coke."
Brasuell: "You mean like Coca-Cola Coke?"
-Brasuell
"I love Catholic schoolgirls." Not in the teacher-student loving way.
-Farns
Just out of the SAT room:
Blonde: "You know that math section with the boxes and the 2 columns? I completely did not understand that."
Some girl: "Did you read the directions?"
Blonde: "Yeah, but I still didn't get it."
-Blonde
"Oh my God my uterus is about to explode! I have to go to the bathroom sooooo badly!!"
-Random Girl
This is all within 2 minutes (what a streak):
Jennie: "How many r's does Marietta have?"
...
[filling out a form]
Jennie: "What street is Walton on?"
Me: "That says 'state.'"
...
Deborah: "Mary, can I borrow your cellphone?"
Jennie: "Yeah, its in my purse over there."
-Jennie Kim
The class reads an article about how Faulkner and Hemingway hate each other. Faulkner is quoted: "Hemingway had never been known to use a word that might send the reader to the dictionary."
Ashley Ann: "Is that positive or negative?"
-Ashley Ann
Second semester Chemistry:
Brasuell: "What's a watchglass?" (chemistry equipment)
Pepple (annoyed): "You had Ms. Williamson, didn't you?"
-Ms. Pepple
SarahThak: hey its it etc or ect?
-Sarah Thakkar
Drew bumps into Tricia.
Ryan Yük: "That is sexual harassment of Korean girl."
Mr. Edelstein: "Is Drew sexually harassing you, Ryan?"
-Mr. Edelstein
Talking about something having to do with an algorithm:
Girl: "Isn't that something we learned in math?"
Other girl: "Yeah, come to think of it, I think I've learned it before."
Lindsey Share: "Isn't that a kind of car?"
-Lindsey Share
"My mom drives a Nissan Civic."
-Lindsey Share
Ms. Barnett: "... this official was riding on the USS Harry S Truman..."
Blonde: "Do they actually name these ships after someone? Who's ever heard of Harry Truman before?"
-Blonde Girl
(to Pat): "If I had a brother, I'd probably hit on him."
-Katherine
"Yeah, if you overclock your engine too much..." (he meant "over advance")
-Charles
(Two guys aren't eating, during lunch)
Blonde₁: "Aren't you guys going to eat something?"
Blonde₂: "The Asian guy is probably Buddhist."
Blonde₁: "So?"
Blonde₂: "Aren't they having Passover right now or something?"
-Blonde Girls
Tricia: "So how old are you? 9?"
Charles: "Yeah 9, plus 7."
Tricia: "You're 17?!?"
-Tricia
LOL this is so true (computer-people know what this means):
EBOLAMONK3Y: Chinese=stingy=OEM
-Chang
BaBYLuBx25: judaism= jewish
BaBYLuBx25: rihgt?
BaBYLuBx25: i mean same thing- ish
-Davita
Shay and Charles picked the Tokyo level on a PS2 snowboarding game.
Lindsey: "Makes sense you picked Tokyo."
Shay: "He's Chinese, Lindsey."
Lindsey: "Well, they're both Asian."
Shay: "But it's like saying you and me are Mexican because we're both from North America."
Lindsey: "No, not really, because Mexico's in South America."
-Lindsey Share
"wtf is a moshpit?"
-Me
"Hey, it's a Jesus quote [holding paper with quote]. No, wait, it's Matthew."
The quote on the paper has "Matthew 14:2" or something like that at the end.
-Me
"Oh, can you say see?"
-Gene
"You guys are so loud! you're going to wake Ms. Inlow up!"
-Ms. Ghannadian
"What's Teflon?"
-Charles
Charles: "What else do you have in that cardboard box?"
Me: "A motherboard, network card..."
Charles: "No, I meant like software."
Me: "Windows?"
Charles: "What do you need Windows for?"
-Charles
Charles: "Some idiot in my drafting class thought the Great Barrier Reef was a mountain range in Australia."
Dumb guy: "Did he mean to say Great Rift Valley?"
-Dumb guy
Mark: "Ever notice how the really good snowboarders come from Australia?"
Scott: "Well yeah, they have some awesome slopes in the Great Barrier Reef."
-Scott Carasik
"God, I have no friends."
-Ronjon
Guy: "So numbers two and three are asking for the same thing?" (about chemistry problems)
Ms. Pepple: "Yes, just different things."
-Ms. Pepple
"It takes my car a 5 minute walk to accelerate to 20 miles per hour."
-Billy Joh
"The Earth has an elliptical orbit?"
-Charles
Me (making fun of Ronjon's bad spelling): "Didn't you ask how to spell alien?"
Ronjon: "Alien? A-l-e-i-n? oops, i-e?"
-Ronjon
Somehow we're talking about how Eva and Jin look alike.
Me: "Well, they have two eyes, one nose, one mouth..."
Yujing: "Sometimes, it seems like Eva has 2 mouths."
-Yujing
Question (the last part): "In Heyward's novel and play of Porgy, What is Porgy's physical handicap?"
Answer: "He is crippled."
-Academic Bowl question
Find the x intercept of y=1.
Me: "0."
-Me
Find the slope of y=0. Someone says 0, which is correct, then we have:
Charles: "No, it's undefined!"
-Charles
A pair of Indian dudes is looking at my monitor. It is a Windows desktop with start menu, taskbar, My Computer, etc. The background is black with a white periodic table (of the elements). Both look intently at my monitor for about 5 seconds, and ask "Is that a game?" I politely replied that it's Windows. Then, he made it clear that he was talking about my background. I told him "Oh, that's the periodic table. Of the elements, you know?" (this took about 30 seconds) Then both of them lit up. "Oh! Mendeleev's periodic table!" I tried to explain that the one I had was the new one... but I couldn't understand their replies because of the Indian accent.
-Indian dudes
x0Alicey0x: wahst a subwoofer?
-Alice
xiaogear1: MIT? i'm not good with abbreveations
-Random Guy
Hk ChYnKbOi: kmart isfuck
Hk ChYnKbOi: oops
Hk ChYnKbOi: wrong message
....
icydog1: wtf is kmart isfuck
icydog1: lol
Hk ChYnKbOi: lol
Hk ChYnKbOi: i was about to day
Hk ChYnKbOi: say
Hk ChYnKbOi: kmart is going out of business
Hk ChYnKbOi: imma go by and get some clearance
-Will
"No that's 8... a 6 and a 3."
-Drew L
Playing Monopoly:
"Come on, 21 or 22!"
-Gene
Alice: "Did you hear that the ACP picnic was canceled?"
Charles: "WHAT?? My mom and I were relying on the free food!"
Alice: "Really? I thought you had to pay to get the free food?"
-Alice
Many houses in China don't have carpeting.
"So what do they use, bamboo?"
-Lindsey Share
Charles and Shay are annoyed at Lindsey and want her to leave.
Lindsey: "How do you say 'people' in Chinese?"
Charles: "Rén."
Lindsey: "Re-in?"
Charles, annoyed: "No, it's 'rén.' Want me to spell that for you? L-E-A-V-E."
Lindsey: "Oh, so it starts with L? So it's Lien?"
-Lindsey Share
Mr. Gesick explain to class how to do a program about the area under a curve.
"What are coefficients?"
    -Vincent (in geometry)
"What are constants?"
    -Shuye (in geometry)
"How do you find the area of a bunch of rectangles added together?"
    -Random
Pat: "Is it possible to consciously hold your breath until you pass out?"
Charles: "Probably."
Adam: "Actually yeah, cuz I got really bored in Mrs. Manguno's class once."
-Adam Bergoo
"Well, one of my friends thought the sun was the north star."
-Blonde in Bio
CiCi: "Was that Jessica's laugh?"
[5 seconds]
Me: "Yeah, I just heard it too."
CiCi looks over... "That's Allon!"
-Allon Mordel
The Narrative of Frederick Douglass:
"Is that a real story?"
-Grace Kim
Tommy: "I saw the hugest house once."
Charles: "Where at?"
Tommy: "Knoxville, Tennessee."
Brad: "Was it the White House?"
-Brad Abrams
Charles: "I'm atheist."
Lindsey: "No you're not."
Charles: "Yeah I am."
Lindsey: "No you're not. Don't Chinese people like worship Allah?"
-Lindsey Share
"wat cardboard box...im confused...r u guys talking about david's brain?"
-Alice
"Are Confederates North or South?"
-Dumb Blonde
(talking about Kamikazes)
"Why were they called suicide?"
-Ashley Ann
(Comparing Batman and Spiderman, which is dumb enough)
"Batman has to use his Gatling gun to grab onto the ceiling."
In all, he probably said "Gatling" 5 times (he meant grappling hook).
-Charles
"What's abolitionist?" The fact that this is during AP US is even sadder...
-Dumb Girl in AP US
"What's Arbor Day?" Well... I wasn't sure what Arbor Day is...
-Me
"Are allies your friends or enemies?"
-Jackie Dagg
Talking about whales: "Where are their gills?"
-Brian Jamont
"What? A line's straight?"
-Dumb Guy in Stat
Cashier: "Don't you bur that French shiet!"
Barnett: "Yoplait?"
Cashier: "Yeah."
Barnett: "It says 'Made in New York.'"
Cashier: "Oh, well don't buy the damn yogurt because British shiet sucks too."
-Cashier
- "That's a cool picture of a hydra with a bird in it."
Charles: "That's a daphnia." (referring to the "bird" inside)
- "No, that's a bird."
Charles: "How's a hydra supposed to swallow a bird?"
- "By opening its mouth and swallowing, duh! It's amazing how little common sense some people have!"
Note: Hydras live in water, hence the name. They are also very small, much smaller than any bird (gnats are not birds).
-Dumb Guy in Bio
In the cafeteria, Dave takes Saumya's agenda and she says "Give it back! I need to go to lunch!"
-Saumya
Me: "I ran up 28 flights of stairs in China."
Roger: "Did you roll down?"
Me: "No, I ran up."
Roger: "But did you roll down?"
Me: "No, there was an elevator."
-Me
"The cube root of 9 is 3 right? Because 3 times 3 times 3 equals 9."
-Dumb Girl in Alg 2
This is given in a chemistry problem: N₂ + 3H₂ <=> 2NH₃ + 22.0 kcal
"How do you know where the heat term is?"
-Dumb Girl in Chem
Teacher writes "Happy π Day!" (March 14)
Stupid: "What's tt Day?"
-Random Stupid Person
"If reverse peristalsis is vomiting, does stuff from the rectum actually come out of your mouth?"
-Dumb Girl in Bio
(talking about Ryan Yük)
Roger: "He doesn't talk to me, I dunno why."
Charles: "He doesn't talk to me either."
Me: (sits up suddenly) "Who dumped you?!?"
-Me
"I thought Catholic don't have church, they go to temple?"
-Ryan Yük
Mewman13: can change in temp be negative? (yeah... that's what a fridge is for)
Mewman13: i've been debating that all day
-Roger
Stupid picture of Charles at Wet Seal: Larger version.
-Charles
"There's a national House of Representatives?"
-Ashley Ann
"Have you ever gotten toothpaste in your eye? It stings like crap." Wonder what he's been doing recently...
-Charles
(going through car magazine, after Charles told us what ABS is)
Roger: "You gotta ask Gene what C-I-V-I-C stands for."
Charles: "C-I-V-I-C... hmmm... [5 seconds go by] What does C-I-V-I-C stand for?"
-Charles
"How do you know that a thousand grams of iron is a kilogram?"
-Blonde in Chem
"What's a bias?"
-Charles
"What's ammunition?"
-Ryan Yük
Trivial Pursuit: In Norse mythology, what is heaven called? (something to that effect)
"Thor."
-Drew L
Charles is telling me that if you don't do anything on the SAT you get a 200 and if you get everything wrong your score will be 0 (actually, if you miss everything your score will be 200).
Charles: "So this one kid misses all of them and got a -20."
Me: "That's raw score, not scaled score."
Charles: "No, he got -20 percentage."
Problems: (1) you can't miss more problems than there are (unless you're skilled like Charles) (2) according to himself not a minute ago, if you miss all of them you get 0 (3) who would pay $25 to miss all of them? (4) you get 200 if you miss everything
-Charles
I know only a few of the relations (niece, nephew, second cousin once removed, etc.), so...
Pat: "What's an aunt?"
Me: "Cousin's mom?"
Pat looks at me like I'm retarded, tells me I'm retarded, and tells me that has to go on my retarded page (this one).
-Pat
"What are Slavs?" (this is during 2nd semester... we had 2 pages of notes on Slavs first semester)
-Ashley Ann
"A World War doesn't include every country, only..." (the rest was too quiet to hear, but it was probably something like "some") She is the #1 waster of class time in AP World History.
-Ashley Ann
Ronjon: "That whore is in my class. She's really whorey." (points ahead in the hallway)
Some girl next to the one he's pointing at turns around and glares at him.
-Random Girl
Kyle (dunno last name): "Give me a dollar, paper, a laser printer, and a scanner, and I'll make all the money you want."
Me: "Where will you get the paper?"
Kyle: "Rice paper. You can get it at..." etc.
Me: "Ok, but what about the ink? Ink on money isn't the same as that in a laser printer."
Kyle: (looks at me like I'm retarded) "The scanner!"
-Kyle
(in the Commons; it's the very noisy cafeteria place)
Me: "That girl ran into a stop sign."
Charles: "What?"
Me: (pointing behind him) "That girl ran into a stop sign."
Charles: (looks back) "Where's the stop sign?"
-Charles
(talking about J Lo)
"I think that the butt is more important than the ass--I mean, face--I mean..."
-Ronjon
"Ireland is not a country. It is part of Great Britain."
-Gene
For a chemistry experiment, Ronjon resulted in 135100% error, where 0% error is perfect. So, he was off the target by a factor of 1352.
-Ronjon
"All atheists are Jews!"
-Gene
PandaFace00: so the cross symbolizes like..christianity?
-CiCi
Excerpt from a Google page summary - "At the top of the list, the Short Bus Boys, whose fearless leader David Zhang have
recorded their debut album..."
-Dunno
Talking about slime molds in biology. "If you eat those, will you get sick?"
-Dumb Girl
Academic bowl question: "This mountain... in the Sierra Nevada range..."
Answers: "Kilimanjaro" and "McKinley."
-Drew and Ronjon, respectively
"This cheese is better than Papa John's."
He's eating Papa John's pizza as he says it... apparently he didn't see the dozens of pizza boxes 6 feet in front of him labeled "Papa John's."
-Gene
We're talking about freedom of expression in Lit.
Ms. Tischner: "What would have happened if Mozart was born in China?"
Me: "Well, they probably wouldn't have repressed his drawing ability"
-Me
"I got bored so I went around the house and put aluminum foil in the sockets cuz the sparks look cool."
-Dumb Blonde
Biology is talking about ameobas.
Mrs. Whitlock: "Ameobas obtain food through phagocytosis."
Charles: "What exactly do amoebas eat?"
Blonde girl: "They can probably eat small fish."
-Dumb Blonde
dingtingw: is ronjon and gene li the same persn?
-Dingting
Link on Yahoo! Mail page: Free $5 Love Reading Now!
-Yahoo
Me: "Hey you should know this... who's the only president to run for more than two terms?"
Charles: "Who is the only president to run for more than two terms... hmmm... Didn't Bill Clinton run for more than 2 terms?"
-Charles
nik3lbak: oh whats funny...today my mom admitted that she was also afraid of me being gay
Geez... my grandpa, my mom, now Gene's mom... hahaha
-Gene('s mom)
After two weeks of reseating my sound card, uninstalling and reinstalling drivers, booting in safe mode, looking up technical articles in the manufacturer's knowledge base, and pulling my hair out, I have determined that the sole cause of my surround sound not working was... the rear speakers had the volume turned all the way down.
-Me
Mr. Edelstein reads a question about amoebas, which Ronjon beats me to the buzzer on.
Me: "That was GAY!"
Mr. E: "Actually, they're asexual."
-Me & Mr. E
"Venetians, as in people from Venus?"
-Drew L
"Isn't a molecule the same as a mole?" This, after well over a month of learning about the mole and after a test on the mole.
-Random Girl in Chem (I've stopped counting...)
"Nitric oxide is a gas. It is not a chemical like the other neurotransmitters." So I guess gases are no longer chemicals?
-Ms. Chesire, anatomy teacher
Random Girl: "I had to get ultrasound for my gallbladder."
Ronjon: "She's pregnant!"
-Ronjon
Charles's history worksheet: "Thirteen states or parts of states have been carved from The Louisiana Purchase Territory. They are as follows: Louisiana, Arkansas..." So he counts the list of states. Then, "There are thirteen." (Note that the first word of the paragraph is thirteen."
-Charles
"To find the time between years, don't you subtract then add 1?"
-Roger
"The Olympics happen every four years, right? Wait, five... no... four... lemme think, there was one in 2000, and '96 was in Atlanta, so there's 5 years in between."
-Catherine Moore
Talking about some Hohenzollern person: "To a rooster, all hens are hos."
-Mrs. Martin
Charles: "David, your orange looks yellow."
Ronjon: "Oranges are usually yellow."
Charles: "Oranges are usually orange!"
(talking about other stuff for a while)
Ronjon: "I eat my oranges like apples."
Charles: "Cuz most apples are purple, right?"
Ronjon: [replies to something I said] "Oranges aren't purple!"
-Ronjon
In an email, I asked Ryan to include the original message in his replies so that it would be easier to track the conversation. His reply:
"you know including original message is very rude
it's out of internet etiquette"
-Ryan Yük
My grandpa told me sleeping over at friends' houses is "bad." It took me a while, but eventually he told me he was afraid I would become gay. Then a few days later, he tells me that another reason he doesn't want me going out with friends is that he's afraid I'll be doing drugs. So basically he thinks I'm going to become a gay pothead. Thanks...
-Grandpa (the non-retarded one, although I may have to change that title now lol)
(To some girl in class) "Oh sorry, I didn't mean to sexually harass you."
-Ms. Williamson
I quote my math packet ("explaining" how to do "logic").
"The power set of a set of the set of all the subsets of a set and is written P(S)."
Also:
"Note: The contrapositive is the converse of the inverse. The contrapositive is also the inverse of the converse. And, the inverse is the contrapositive of the converse."
-Analysis packet (Ms. Monger)
Vincent: "What are you drawing?"
Charles: "Honda Civic."
Vincent: "Is that a race car?"
-Vincent
History class is watching a biography video on Henry VIII... then halfway through, "Is this based on a true story?"
-Clara Chung
Brett: "1 mole of ping pong balls would overflow the Grand Canyon."
Dumb dumb: "How do you have .02 of a ping pong ball?"
Umm... 6.02 x 10²³does not mean there are 6.02 ping pong balls... it means there are a LOT of ping pong balls...
-Girl4 in Chem
"Most of the Chinese people at our school are Korean."
-Gene
"I gotta get that [referring to 75GB hard drive] I hate my 20 GHz piece of crap.
-Gene
"What's a prison?"
-Me
"I couldn't frown until I was in 7th grade."
-Girl3 in Chem in Anatomy
Alex (Grimes) is singing lose yourself (Eminem) and gets to the "sweater already, mom's spaghetti" part. Paul (freshman) says "Are you talking about covalent bonds?"
-Paul Ginart
(Disgusted look) "Are you eating PAPER?"
I was chewing gum... has she never seen gum before?
-Jackie Dagg
Quote from Brookwood during the Brookwood Academic Bowl varsity tournament after we protested 2 bonuses that would have decided the game: "The ruling is that the Hertzsprung-Russell diagram does not have letters." The protest was because we gave answers as a letter (G) instead of word (main sequence). I realize most of you don't have a clue what an H-R diagram (notice the letters along the bottom) is, but for those who do... that's retarded.
-Brookwood idiots
The book Rabbit is Rich contains the word whorey.
-John Updike
Talking about a bone: "I think it's near the thong -- I mean palm"
Wonder what she's been thinking about?
-Girl3 in Chem in Anatomy
Nathan: "What's the density of water?"
Roger: "One."
Nathan: "So what's the density of 25 milliliters of water?"
-Nathan Abbott
I am lRonjon: i was checking mu attendence history and i have tardy's to lunch
-Ronjon
A girl wanted to sit farther back in the room, and the teacher told her to move back to her seat in the front of the room. She goes "But I'm nearsighted!" (hint: nearsighted = can't see far away)
-Dumb girl in Spanish
"You don't know how punch I hard."
-Billy Joh
Random Girl: "How do you tell if it's ionic or covalent?"
Me: "By seeing if the first element is a metal or nonmetal."
Random Girl: "But how do you know if an element is a metal or nonmetal?"
-Random Girl
They were talking about academic bowl.
Andy: "So, what rank is David?"
Pat: "Second in A."
Andy: "Is that the best?"
-Andy Wozniak
Pat: "What company makes the SAT?"
Jay: "Massachusetts."
-Jay
Mrs. Cheshire: "Uranus? That's a star or something isn't it?"
-Mrs. Cheshire
Charles was fervently arguing that "Celt" is pronounced "selt" for 5 minutes or so. So then as his final point, he says "Ms. McGeehan taught us!!!" (Ms. McGeehan = almost literally retarded, IQ probably near 85)
-Charles
"Isn't lake Champlain the one with the Loch Ness Monster?"
No, actually Loch Ness has the Loch Ness Monster...
-Charles
PunkRckrBoi1117: wuts with ur nazi buddy icon?
My icon is a hammer & sickle, and that is not nazi!
-Charles
Anatomy teacher: "The word bank will be in alphabetical order." (the next test)
Girl: "Alphabetical order? What does that mean?"
-Girl3 in Chem in Anatomy
Mr. Pace (drafting) apparently doesn't know much geometry.
Pace: "What's a 5-sided polygon?"
Class: "Pentagon"
Pace: "What about a 6-sided one?"
Class: "Hexagon"
Pace: "Heres a tricky one: a 360-sided one?"
Kevin Leonard: "a three-sixty-gon."
Pace: "WRONG! It's a circle!"
In case you're wondering, I think that a polygon with more than 20 sides is called a x-gon, where x is the number of sides.
-Mr. Pace
A girl who sits near me at lunch is... uhh... dumb. "Can you get sick again right after you've been sick?"
-Katie Kim
"My computer can't copy and paste, and its a BRAND NEW computer!"
-Girl4 in Chem (more dumb Chem girls now, it seems)
Ms. Pepple was talking about polar molecules the entire period one day. Then about 2 minutes before the bell rings, a dumb girl asks "What's polarity?"
-Girl3 in Chem
Whitlock: "Payday is 3 days from today!"
Honors Bio Girl: "What's payday?"
-Girl in Bio
Ronjon: "I love history."
Charles: "I hate history, along with English."
Ronjon (5 sec later): "So, do you like English?"
-Ronjon
At Mary's birthday party, Josie put icing up her nose, sniffed, and yelled "It burns, it burns!"
-Josie
"You know how you have two receivers, one that sends and one that receives?" (we were talking about wireless networking)
-Billy Joh
Ms. Pepple was telling us about how water molecules are polar (have slight +/- charges at its poles). Then I hear "So there are no molecules that are not charged?"
-Girl2 in Chem
"Can a pair be more than two?"
-Girl in Chem
"You could buy like a sock for $50!" (emphasis on "sock," she's trying to say that you can't do anything with $50.
Wonder how she spends money? The way I spend money, I could definitely get more than a sock.
-Erika Palant
I sprained my ankle for the second time, and I'm walking with a really heavy limp. After about 5 minutes of watching me walk, Jay says (to Tarrant) "He's walking with like a limp." As if Tarrant didn't notice...
-Jay
Me: "What's an Avogadro?"
Ryan Yuk: "A Hindu holiday."
Ryan is in honors chemistry...
-Ryan Yük
Me: "What's an Avogadro?" Avogadro is a person, came up with the number named after him (6.02 x 10²³).
Paul: "A country in the Middle East."
-Paul Ginart
On a box of popcorn (labeled for Mole Day): So good, you'll want it every 6.02 x 10²³ seconds!
Yeah... that works out to be almost 2 x 10¹⁶ (two quadrillion) years, or far longer than the life of the universe (1.4 x 10¹⁰, or fourteen billion years). Which means, the popcorn is so bad you're not going to want to eat it anytime within the lifespan of the universe.
-A girl in Chem (not the dumb one)
"Why are you dividing by the denominator?"
-Guy in Analysis
"So is each kernel of salt a molecule?"
-Girl in Chem
"What is the formula for slope?!?"
This is a freshman in Honors Geometry, and is on the math team.
-Vincent
Trenton: "Hey Ronjon Banjeree!"
Charles: "It's Banerjee, Trenton. There is no R in Banerjee"
-Charles and Trenton
Bobby: "Our school is good at math."
Ronjon: "What school?"
-Ronjon
nik3lbak: i thought hard drive was like floppy nad c: and d: and stuff (nad=and)
Brilliant. If hard drives were floppy, they wouldn't be called hard drives.
-Gene
nik3lbak: my left index and middle fingers got burned
nik3lbak: by lawn mower exhaust thingy
Why would you stick fingers into the lawn mower exhaust?
-Gene
Our chemistry class is so dumb/annoying that the teacher talks about us to the other classes... and she gave us a seating chart. Not only that, but the other classes knew about the seating chart before we did!
-Chem class
A bird crashed into a window at Charles' house, and "scared the shit outta" (those are his own words) him.
-Charles and a bird
There was an academic bowl question that had to do with some country in Asia. CiCi buzzes in and says "Philippines" then a retard says... "The Philippines are in Asia?"
-Girl in D room
"What's abundance?"
-Girl in chem class
Don't you love these... I've gotten 2 this year already.
Annoying Girl: hey r u on aim
-Annoying girl
There was a question on a Academic Bowl Varsity tournament that asked what river did George Washington throw a quarter across. The guy (on a very good team) said Ganges. (The answer is Potomac)
-Chattahoochee A team captain
Just before a movie was about to start, the screen showed a cell phone beeping and it was telling everyone to turn off their cell phones. Some guy hears the beeping and says "Hey! Turn off that cell phone!"
-Random guy at theater
On a check that Roger's mom wrote:
Pay to the order of: Cash
For: Acadimical Bowl
-Roger's mom
Pat: "Confucius say 'Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.'"
Jay: "It's probably a rough translation."
-Jay
Ms. Pepple was talking about electron configurations (looks similar to 1s²2s²2p⁶3p¹).
"Superscripts? Are those the big numbers?"
-Girl in Chem
"So do all the elements before sodium make up sodium?"
Basically, she was asking whether sodium is made of all the elements before it (is sodium made of hydrogen, helium, etc).
-Girl in Chem
Ms. Pepple was talking about the spectrum and ROY G BIV. She that to order the colors from high to low frequency, you need to flip it around to VIB G YOR. Apparently this was too much for the dumb girl.
"So which one is right?"
-Girl in Chem
prostitute (accept any obvious equivalents)
-Academic Bowl Varsity tournament answer
From one of those email survey things:
What would be the first thing you would do if you woke up one morning and
you were the opposite sex? experiment...............................
-CiCi
EBOLAMONK3Y: U warned u?
Why would I warn myself?
-Chang
Gum4every1: hey you use aim right?
No I don't have AIM, it just happens that I can receive messages sent to me on AIM.
-Alex Grimes
Me: Do you have Edelstein? (Edelstein = AP world/world geo teacher)
Guy: LSD?
-Me and Patrick Avery
Ms. Pepple: "Know the masses of protons, neutrons, and electrons." (for the test)
Moron: "You mean, like positive or negative?"
-Girl in Chem
Jay was talking for 10 minutes to a guy about how time gets slower as you move faster (that's called relativity). Pat wanted to make fun of him for being in informal geometry, and he goes "So, Jay, can you explain relativity to me? I'm in honors algebra 2 and I don't get it." Jay looks hopelessly confused. After 5 minutes, we realized that he didn't have the slightest clue what he had been talking about for the past 10 minutes.
-Jay
"Bird shit is white?"
-Charles
Eva: ~heyhey~!
Charles: hey
Eva: g2g
-Eva & Charles
"Are atoms only in nonliving things? ... So we're made of atoms? ... So, are atoms and cells the same thing?"
-Girl in Chem

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