Dutterisms

This page is dedicated to Joan Dutter. She owns. Why is Mrs. Dutter so awesome?

Wilcox made an animation of Dutter and what is probably me. Quite interesting.

Short Exchanges

Newest on top.

  1. Dutter: "That year's AP class, I would be surprised if they scored anything on the AP exam. The honors class, well, they're beyond comprehension."

  2. Me: "Everyone's like, oh my god you have to make Dutter stay!"
    Dutter: "Why?"
    Me: "Everybody loves you!"
    Dutter: "They hate me."

  3. Arthur: "So are you still teaching?"
    Dutter: "No."
    All (confused): "What?"
    Dutter: "Well, I show up at school, but I don't teach..."

  4. Brian Jamont: "Oh man. Ms. Dutter, you're gonna be so impressed! I bet I'm gonna get a four or five."
    Dutter: "I would be impressed if you get a three."

  5. Brian Jamont: "Yeah, Ms. Dutter I've got a question. How come Honors Physics is learning about electricity and stuff?"
    Dutter: "Do you want to drop down and find out?"

  6. Graham Brown to Brian Jamont: "Brian, stop wasting class time and asking stupid questions. Just stay after class and ask her then!"
    Dutter: "No. Please don't."

  7. Brian Jamont, after hearing Dutter say that if we passed the test she just handed back, then we could get into Harvard: "So you're saying I have a chance to get into Harvard?"
    Dutter: "No... you have NO chance of getting into Harvard."

  8. Me, after observing a loud sixth period: "Seems like you have an interesting group of physics people."
    Dutter: "Bunch of airheads. My elementary school teacher used to say, 'empty tin cans make a lot of noise.'"

  9. Dutter: "I'll miss you guys... believe it or not."

  10. Graham holding a coil of solder: "Hey you know what would be funny? If I touched this (solder iron) to the coil so that it would all melt together."
    Dutter: "Actually, you know what would be funny? If we soldered your mouth shut."

  11. Dutter on AP Lit and missed quizzes: "What kind of screwy system is that?"

  12. Dutter: [Sigh] "That sub is so dumb!"

  13. Dutter: "There's so many little squeaky girls!"

  14. Dutter: "He's been behaving very strangely ever since that car hit him."

  15. Mark turns in a test half-completed. I thought there were two impossible ones.
    Me: "Did you enjoy those two problems you couldn't do?"
    Dutter: "I think it was a lot more than two."

  16. Jerk is the rate of change in acceleration, just as acceleration is the rate of change of velocity.
    Charles: "What's the word for the rate of change in jerk?"
    Dutter: "There isn't one. Well, not that I know of."
    [5 seconds]
    Dutter: "Maybe they found that they just can't change jerks."

  17. Gene: "I was... uh..."
    Dutter: "Paying attention again, as usual."

  18. Charles: "Can I have an A?"
    Dutter: "I don't think you have enough money. I think studying would be easier."

  19. After letting me sleep during a test (and almost fail) instead of waking me up, Dutter says: "I figure you needed it."

  20. Dutter to Arthur: "Do you want to have your head beaten in?"

  21. Dutter to Gene: "Why are you worried about rank? You need to pass a class!"

  22. Arthur has a presentation lasting a full period due next period.
    Dutter: "Sounds like it's time for a bad case of laryngitis."

  23. Dutter's in favor of a fixed criteria for Honors Night so that there can be more than one person to get an award or none at all. About the years when everyone sucks: "So in other words, we throw all these losers in a bag and then draw."

  24. Me: "She (Dutter) threatened to fail Arthur for voting for her for teacher superlatives."
    McLeod: "Don't fail me! I'll fail on my own!"
    Dutter: "Good."

  25. Dutter: "But, when you're dealing with people who just aren't very clever, you just have to hit them over the head."

  26. Ms. Dutter is going to be gone Friday and so nothing useful is going to happen during class.
    Ben: "So, wait. We don't have to be here on Friday?"
    Dutter: "Well... no. You have to be here, I don't."
    Fanoe: "But you're not going to be here. What's the point of coming?"
    Dutter: "Well, I'm not allowed to tell you to not come, but..."

  27. Someone: "Our class has reached new highs in low productivity."
    Dutter: "And we have Mark."

  28. Sharon: "Ms. Dutter, I can't deal with Mark."
    Dutter: "Arrghhuuuhhh!" (my approximation does not come close to capturing the full meaning of Ms. Dutter's groan)

  29. Ben: "I'm going to hit you [Fanoe]. Will you turn around, Ms. Dutter?"
    Dutter: "No, I don't want you to... damage 25% of our class."

  30. Dutter: "So if I got a huge shotgun" [hand gesture] "and put a big truck in it..." [points imaginary gun at Gene]

  31. In 3rd period physics, the class found a problem with her Scantron key for the last test.
    Marty: "How did 2nd period not pick up on that?"
    Dutter: "I don't know. They don't pick up on anything."

  32. Dutter grading AP Physics tests: "Oh... wow... an all-time low."
    (This implies something close to 0. It was a 4. This test is counted as out of 100, but the max possible score was most likely around 120 or 130.)

  33. Charles: "Have these cow magnets been used?"
    Dutter: "I don't know. I got them heavily discounted."

  34. Me: "Yeah, more people want to take it next year. Like, more than 4." (emag)
    Dutter: "Then it won't be as much fun!"
    All: "Yeah."
    Dutter: "Then I'll actually have to do stuff!"

  35. Dutter tells us that if you drink sulfuric acid with braces on, it won't be good for you. Although I don't see how the braces would make a whole lot of difference, her point is that metal + H2SO4 = explosion.
    Arthur: "And how big an explosion are we talking here?"
    Dutter: "Well you wanna try, Arthur? You're the one with braces."

  36. Gene: "Can you make the tests have no multiple choice and all short answer?"
    Me: "Can you just ignore what he just said?"
    Dutter: "Yeah, I will."

  37. Marty: "Jonathan, your sweater is feminine."
    Dutter: "Yeah, it is."

  38. Dutter: "Should I peel this off?"
    James: "Yeah, if you want to see Dingting naked."
    Dutter: "Eww... what a scary thought..."

  39. Mark Bullard got Class Flirt.
    Mark: "I got it because I'm nice."
    Dutter: "No, it's because you touch everybody."

  40. Dutter pushes the table to demonstrate force and opposite force: "The interaction between me and this table is probably better than me and you! At least it responds!"

  41. Fanoe is playing with a mouse ball.
    Dutter: "Don't take that out of there [mouse]. I don't want to be forced to hurt you."

  42. Dutter: "You don't tell the teacher that ("I hate physics!") and expect to get a good grade. You lie!"

  43. McLeod: "Can we have a physics party?"
    Dutter: "Don't we have one every day?"

  44. McLeod: "I can never tell if it's a rhetorical question. Like, 'what do you think, I'm stupid or something?'"
    Me: "Yes."
    Girl between us: "Ooohhh ouch."
    McLeod: "I didn't hear that. Did he just make fun of me?"
    Dutter: "Yes."

  45. Me: "How many square roots do we get?"
    Dutter: "Well, first let's see how many you need."

  46. Fanoe is playing vector racing, in which all vectors are straight, and cheats.
    Fanoe: "Mrs. Dutter, did you know that there are parabolic vectors?"
    Dutter: "Is it in a strong gravitational field?"

  47. Dutter was a reader for the Academic Bowl tournament here at Walton (WAC). She complained about the weird wording and weird sentence structure: "I listened to myself read and thought, 'what the hell is coming out of my mouth!?'"

  48. Me: "Are we in this homecoming thing?"
    Dutter: "I certainly hope not."
    Me: "Me too, but I think that Morgan said she wanted to make something for it. But it's already like a week and a half overdue."
    Dutter: "Well, GOOD!"

  49. Some girl says something about the law of cosines and probably was trying to teach Ms. Dutter about why it works.
    Dutter: "I realize the rule for cosines work, that's why the law is written that way! "

  50. McLeod: "Are you toying with us!?"
    Dutter: "Yeah."

  51. Fanoe: "Didn't you say we only had to do the homework if we wanted to?"
    Dutter: "You can if you want to but you had better want to."

  52. Dutter reads to the class a bad teacher report card comment: "Since the last report card, your child has hit rock bottom and is now starting to dig."

  53. Arthur: "If you aren't going to brush your teeth, don't talk in my direction."
    Dutter: "That's harsh." [walks towards Fanoe]
    Fanoe: "Are we getting out the gum now?"
    Dutter: "No, the Altoid strips." [gives Fanoe an Altoid strip]

  54. Ben: "Did Dingting have problems with this too?"
    Dutter: "I don't remember. I had a problem with Dingting."

  55. In direct contradiction to the previous statement (below), Dutter says: "What's wrong with you? ... You don't just rearrange these formulas the way you want them to be!"

  56. Mrs. Dutter is trying to show how to get the right answer for a problem on the board.
    Arthur: "But Ms. Dutter! You can't just take the integral of one side of an equation randomly!"
    Dutter: "Well, what else do you want to do with the dx?"

  57. Arthur: "How did the other physics class do on the last test?" (2 - graphical analysis)
    Dutter: "Most people did well on it. I'll have to make a new one."
    By well, she means that only a few failed after the square root curve.

  58. Gene: "This class cause my brain great pain."
    Dutter: "It's supposed to. If it didn't, it would be like all the other classes."

  59. Early morning:
    Ben: "So what are we doing right now?"
    Dutter: "Looking for my brain."

  60. McLeod asks if the homework problems are the only type that will be on the test and gets a somewhat affirmative answer.
    Me to McLeod: "Yeah, but you know she will pull random stuff out of nowhere."
    Dutter: "Well, not out of nowhere."

  61. Charles said that after the second test (which he did very well on) he's doing well in the class.
    Dutter: "You just got lucky."

  62. I got into her Emag class at the beginning of the 3rd week. Grade reports come out the 4th week, and I haven't yet had any grades.
    Arthur: "So what is David going to have as his grade?"
    Dutter: "An Incomplete."
    Arthur: "Is that good?"
    Dutter: "It's higher than what you're going to have."

  63. Entire emag class: "What's a pithball?"
    Dutter: "Well, it's a small ball made of pith."
Last updated January 2, 2006.
977 hits since March 24, 2006.